lissab113 Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We have a great relationship, except for the fact that we don't have sex very often (usually about once a month) He works a lot and smokes marijuana. I used to chalk it up to that. However his lack of sex drive has, over time, made me lose the confidence to initiate. I really want sex! I knows he loves me and he tells me that he wants to marry me eventually. I feel the same way, but how can I nip this problem in the bud before we move in together/get married?
Tech76 Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 I would be careful about moving in together. Once a month seems to be a red flag.
Author lissab113 Posted July 29, 2004 Author Posted July 29, 2004 Thanks for your post.... I thought it was too, but unlike one of my exes who was cheating on me and that was the reason, this guy doesn't go out. I know for a fact that hes not cheating so what do I do?
babygirl21 Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 Hi I think that the best thing for you to do is talk to him about the problem if you haven't done so already.Take the time to sit him down and tell him how you feel and what you want or need more of.If that doesn't work let me know maybe I can help you out and come up with some other way for you and him to work this problem out.
Author lissab113 Posted July 30, 2004 Author Posted July 30, 2004 Well, how I approach it is a problem. he doesn't have much experience with this before me and I definitely don't want to hurt his pride/ feelings. How could I start a conversation without saying something like "We need to talk" ?
babygirl21 Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 Try to get him to sit down with you.Say something like come on over here and sit down with me baby.Then when the time is right say sumthing like baby can I ask you a question or sumthing to that extent.Then say is it possiible that we can have more sexual incounters cause I just can't resist having you more and more.I yearn for your body everyday.So do you think that we can have more sex?I just can't live without your sexy body and that fantastic sex.If you need more advice I would be glad to help.
Author lissab113 Posted July 30, 2004 Author Posted July 30, 2004 That's great! I will let you know how it goes!
babygirl21 Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 Ok girl good luck hope everything goes smoothly. GOOD LUCK!
lioness Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 babygirl... do you smoke with him? I ask because... well, let me share a little bit of my own life experience. I met my ex husband at 19 - we smoked marijuana together daily... we eventually moved in together, even though the sex was pretty much like yours. Non-existent. Marijuana will do that to the sex drive. Well, we married when I was 21. I chalk it up to a drugged stupor. Finally I stopped smoking. I realized he never would. Five years, One child, a lost home, a divorce, and a bankruptcy later, I'm back living at mom's house with my baby. And my baby will have to live with knowing that his dad (and his dad's entire family for that matter) are drug addicts. Stop and examine your entire relationship. Make sure that you are prepared to live with his smoking as a possible lifetime habit, if you are planning on staying with him. Our sex life deteriorated to the point where we were only having sex every couple of months. I came out of the marriage with my sexual self image trashed and I'm rebuilding it. Please, please stop and carefully examine what the foundation of your relationship is before you move in together.
babygirl21 Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 No I do not smoke with him,actually I know a lot of guys that do smoke and they have a fantastic sex life so girl just talk to your man.
Author lissab113 Posted July 30, 2004 Author Posted July 30, 2004 I don't smoke with him, but I am starting to come to grips with the fact that he may never stop. We have talked about that, but I don't think that it has fully hit home yet about the repercussions of marijuana (fertility, sex drive, etc.) The sex drive has never been there, but up until now I guess I have been wearing love goggles about it. I love him more than anyone else in this world. I hope everything works out
babygirl21 Posted July 30, 2004 Posted July 30, 2004 ok girl like I said good luck and I hope everything works out for you to,let me know how it goes in a private message or in a post.k
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