dreamstate83 Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 (edited) I've handled my own situation fairly well over the past 2 months. Chalk it up to experience and maturity I guess. I've always been interested in the way people think and act, and I had a question about something. When my recent ex broke things off and I left her be for about a month initially, it eventually came to a discussion on the phone before going NC again. She said "if you and I don't end up back together, I'll probably spend the next 2 years single. You've set the bar impossibly high for relationships." To her defense, I'm best friends with her best friend and they can back up what she said completely. They said it was made VERY clear that she isn't interested in dating anyone for at least 2 years. This ex is the same person who also said that we should be friends and she believed by doing so we could reconcile down the road. Now obviously I wasn't interested in all of that uncertainty and false friendship so don't worry about that - I walked away with my dignity intact. I'm just curious if any other females have any insight as to what would make someone say those kinds of things, especially after breaking up? To me it sounds like she isn't happy with herself at the moment and wants to take care of things in her life. Either that or she was completely confused. It doesn't really matter in the end, but it's just something I've thought about today Edited October 12, 2012 by dreamstate83
Liz2012 Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 does sound like how you're reading it....definitely. weird really then that she doesn't want to make a go of it. I have a friend who was left by her ex and she says he set the bar high but is now dating again already because well, he's gone but anyway, yes, I think people do measure things up against their experiences, so maybe she knows it will take a while to find THAT again, which gives you some kind of window to fix what was wrong - if it's something you can fix?
Author dreamstate83 Posted October 12, 2012 Author Posted October 12, 2012 does sound like how you're reading it....definitely. weird really then that she doesn't want to make a go of it. I have a friend who was left by her ex and she says he set the bar high but is now dating again already because well, he's gone but anyway, yes, I think people do measure things up against their experiences, so maybe she knows it will take a while to find THAT again, which gives you some kind of window to fix what was wrong - if it's something you can fix? Well yes and no. A definite maybe? Hah. Here's the full story if you are interested: The Longer The Distance (My Story) I've already come to terms with the very high chance that this is just another chapter in my life, so I don't really need a lot of encouragement. I'm just looking back in retrospect about the way she thought.
KatZee Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 I read your back story, and it's cute and all but you were right about one very important part... relationships are in which both people talk about the issues and work through them, not just run away. You tried your best, your best was not good enough for this person. I think you sacrificed a hell of a lot for this person and honestly it looks like it wasn't even appreciated or acknowledged. I do agree this is a new chapter in your life. You should never uproot yourself and change your entire life for someone, especially in another country. I also agree with the NC thing. I don't think you can continue being a "friend" to someone you're so emotionally connected to. Florida is real nice too. And if you ever feel like taking a trip back to NY--- you're cute.
Author dreamstate83 Posted October 12, 2012 Author Posted October 12, 2012 I read your back story, and it's cute and all but you were right about one very important part... relationships are in which both people talk about the issues and work through them, not just run away. You tried your best, your best was not good enough for this person. I think you sacrificed a hell of a lot for this person and honestly it looks like it wasn't even appreciated or acknowledged. I do agree this is a new chapter in your life. You should never uproot yourself and change your entire life for someone, especially in another country. I also agree with the NC thing. I don't think you can continue being a "friend" to someone you're so emotionally connected to. Florida is real nice too. And if you ever feel like taking a trip back to NY--- you're cute. Hah thanks for the feedback and the ego booster, I'm flattered 1
Author dreamstate83 Posted October 12, 2012 Author Posted October 12, 2012 I got that from my ex. She said something along the lines of "I don't want to date for a long time. I want to find myself. You were great. Blah blah blah" She started a rebound a month later, and then got into a new relationship 5 days after that relationship ended. Don't be surprised if she gets into a new relationship within 2 months. Oh I won't be surprised. If history serves as experience, chances are she will do everything in her power to move on - maybe even date other guys. In the end, they always come back crying on the phone though. It's a real shame that so many people struggle to see what they had until it's too late to get it back eh?
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