fast metabolism but too weak to eat NORMALLY

October 12, 2012

Is anyone else in a similar predicament?

I am a HUGE eater who has always been slim for the amount I eat, although I am not very petite or slinny by any means.

My problem: if I merely ate NORMALLY I would be slim, yet I am so familar with eating huge amounts that I stay heavier than I COULD be if I had ANY will power:mad:

I eat about 2500 calories now with not doing much exercise and wont go over about 133 lbs, at 5'5, with a huge bubble butt and curvy body type.

BMI of about 22.5 - 23 is the heaviest I get. BMI 23 aint thin, but it asint fat either, despite daily overeating.

I am one of those women who eats a lot, and ALWAYS has as long as I remember, from childhood. ALways eating more than my friends. Alwas a HUGE eater, yet stayed skinny for my size, but not ULTRA, sickly thin. Thin enough for a few people to comment over the years though.

I WANT SOME WILL POWER... ugh.

I am glad I do not get fat easily, yet I do miss having a banging body.

October 12, 2012

I am going to start with my late night snacking

...... I eat a lot at night, as I CANNOT SLEEP if I have NOTHING; my insomnia kicks in when I sleep on a totally empty stomach. I get too hungry throughout the night.

.,,,So, I am going to try to ONLY have a glass of milk at night for a midnight snack.

Eating heavily over night only puts me in a bad place when I wake up, and I am less compelled to do well with food.

.....I am going to start from tonight with the midnight "food" bad, and rather limit it to the one glass of milk, wish sugar free banana flavour:D

I have also let my fitness go, and only go for runs most days, just half hour ones outside, NOT enough for a bikina body.

Although I admit I look pretty good for my size and fitness level.

I will put a before picture and an after picture.

Lastly: My fitness plan is 5 days a week with an hour of cardio, 3 days a week weights.

I love running so Fitness is something I genuinely enjoy.

I plan to be about 120 lbs by December.

I am slightly more than 130 lbs now..... And I do not have a gut, and my stomach ca be flattish when it is empty.

October 12, 2012

Leigh, from what I remember of your posting history you suffered from anorexia for a number of years, so you have NOT always eaten a lot. I have to wonder if you are even aware what a lot of food actually is.

If you are reasonably fit, and go running every day, 2,500 calories is an ideal intake to maintain your current weight which, incidentally, is absolutely fine for your height.

October 12, 2012

I agree that a lot of former anorexics necessarily know what is a lot of food..

But I can assure you, that from a young age I have always been well known for my eating.

In fact, one of my first boyfriends when I was 16, started to get a crush on me, because when I first met up with him with some friends, I was like " I am gunna go get chips and an ice cream, anyone one food"

No one gave a cr@p about food, yet I went and got ice cream and chips, then went back to get another ice cream.

I am not that petite or thin, but I am thin for being a big eater I think. And I seam to be able to get "thin" without having to resort to as little as 1500 calories.

I do not see how people EAT that little! 1500 calories for a 5 ' 5 or average women is absurd, and I know many DO eat that little, as a standard practice, to lose weight.

I Just feel sill that I can lose weight fairly easily compared to most women, yet I take it for granted.

I could lose weight on 1800 - 2000 calories with exercise but no, I ruin it and eat when not hungry and eat more than my 6'3 boyfriend.

I can assure you I have returned to being a huge eater since anorexia.

While anorexic I ate 1800 calories or more - I just worked out an hour 4 days a week and did resistance, and walked a lot.

I initially starved myseld a little, but to maintain 110 lbs when I was semi recovering from my lowest weight, I maintained on a normal amount that orther women my size ate.

October 12, 2012

Could you relax for one friggin' minute?

October 12, 2012

I am not trying to be skinny here.

I only go for runs maybe 3 days a week. No ab work or anything. I am ready and exciting to start going to the gym 5 days a week to get a killer body.

I am re registering to become a personaltrainer, now that I have a summer job to afford the registration fee:I need to look the part, which means regulare strength training 3 times a week, eventually 4 I think....

I honestly did ab work every day before and now I have totally let myself go.

I am not scared or upset about it at all, I feel really excited about getting into shape again though!

Just because I HAD anorexia, I am far from that mindset now, regarding how I inflict my inner demons on my body love.

I have gained about 20 lbs since meeting my partner and he could not care less and is glad I am recovered fully and still likes my body a lot.

My honest thoughts right now: I love my body and every day I normally think about how lucky I am that it is healthy, however: I LOVE fitness, as a whole, and I also love the result it has on my body. I miss it, and am very very excited about getting into shape again.

Damn. The new exercise regieme WILL no doubt have to go hand in hand with the ceasation of my night eating; which will lead to a NORMAL caloric intake rather than 2500 with little exercise.

Every one around me eats less, and based on what other people eat, men included, I eat more than anyone I know intimately enough for me to see what they really eat.

Oh well. At least I don't have to starve to be slim. I just have to not be a pig like usual. WHY is it so hard to just eat when hungry?

October 12, 2012

Whether you have been diagnosed as recovered or not, anorexia is not just about starving yourself.

Your posts here show you clearly still have an obsession with your weight, your food consumption and your level of exercise.

If you are planning to become a personal trainer, you must have a good level of knowledge about nutrition and exercise. Apply that to yourself and you will be fit, strong, slim and healthy - a perfect example for your clients.

Being a personal trainer is not just about 'looking' the part? You have to live what you preach and your current mindset is NOT a good example! In fact, I find it rather worrying

October 12, 2012

Whether you have been diagnosed as recovered or not, anorexia is not just about starving yourself.

Your posts here show you clearly still have an obsession with your weight, your food consumption and your level of exercise.

Yes, you've been "released" because your weight is normal and healthy, but your mind does not yet have healthy thoughts about food and weight. You still have an food disordered mindset.

Eat for energy, health, and pleasure.

Exercise for health, strength, and pleasure.

The rest of the time: focus on things other than food and body size/appearance. That's a normal, healthy relationship with food.

October 12, 2012

I appreciate your concerns, but I honestly do not think I have a warped view on food and exercise.

I have lingering issues from the disorder, but I do have an unhealthy view on food and exercise for myself or others.

THIS is what I ACTUALLY think: I think eating well and exercise is something that drastically enhances life. I do not believe in exercising more than is ideal for any given person and their goals.

I do not advocate eating too little or too much.

I am not sure what disordered thoughts I have about food and exercise.

I know what a healthy amount is. I never really think about besides the rare threads I write in THIS forum?

....I wish you could just read my mind and KNOW what realll think.

For the life of me, I do not think I have a single disordered thougth about health fitness, food or exercise.

I believe in being a slim version of yourself if you so choose, and to find a way to live HAPPILY.

.....I live happily, and even though I only go for little slow runs like 3 days a week, I never beat myself up or get anxious, as I know in the long run I will get back into a better routine that meets my needs and goals.

I am very serious about this; I have outlined what I think, and I welcome any unhealthy thoughts about food and exercise you " think" I supposendly have?

October 12, 2012

Yes, you've been "released" because your weight is normal and healthy, but your mind does not yet have healthy thoughts about food and weight. You still have an food disordered mindset.

Eat for energy, health, and pleasure.

Exercise for health, strength, and pleasure.

The rest of the time: focus on things other than food and body size/appearance. That's a normal, healthy relationship with food.

I Only think about my actual weight and body when I work out; as I am doing it, I imagine myself in a bikini.

I imagine how good I feel when I am a slim version of myself.

.....Honest to god, I do not think about my body or weight besids from when I am literally in the gym.

About a year and a half ago I cried when I approached 118 lbs though. And now I am 100% comfcortable with being 130 lbs.

I have come a long way. And I do not see how I still have unhealthy views, when I ex ercise and eat with normal thoughts, and for the right reasons.

And I eat a diet I enoy the most, and believe (and will teach clients) that the key to success is to learn to like healthy foods.

I eat exactly what I want, and have actuall worked hard to find out HOW to enjoy mostly clean foods..

I would say I am doing pretty well, to eat what I want when I want it, and to have trained my taste buds to LIKE what I eat, and to genuinely enjoy what I eat more than any other persons way of eating.

I have also done well to find a way to work out that I love. SHame I am too lazy lately to get to the gym and do it but oh well!

October 12, 2012

WHY is it so hard to just eat when hungry?

This question suggests some food issues. Why are you eating when you are not hungry?

Other than that, the sheer number of threads on weight and exercise, plus the detail, is just very odd.

October 12, 2012

Ok Leigh, if you are perfectly happy with your body and your ability to stay slim, fit, strong and healthy, without obsessing about:

- how much you weigh

- the shape of your body

- the size and shape of your butt

- what degree of 'thin' you are

- your metabolism

- how much you eat in volume

- how many calories you are consuming

- how much exercise you do

- your BMI

- your lack of willpower

- how lazy you are

- how much other people eat

- what you consider normal eating

....then I would agree.

BUT since you mentioned every one of these things in the first post of this thread, and some of them several times in your follow up posts, I 'think' its safe to assume that these subjects are what you wanted to discuss - which suggests you don't have a healthy attitude to your weight or your body.

If you believe you do then, ok but, in that case, what point were you trying to make with this thread?

October 12, 2012

I do not obsessive about those things, Little Tiger.

I do not think about them every day.

When I think about them, it is not in an obsessive manner.....

I am seriously trying to think about how often I think about BMI and all that.....

I cannot remember the last time I thought about BMI, before this thread. Not this week at least.

.....I honestly do not understand why you purport to know what I think?

I have recovered from all my disordered food thoughts, for the most part.

I have only recently recovered though, as you can see from my past threads.

But I am still recovered, at this stage, to the point where I do NOT think about those things.

I know what I think; and I am telling you.

I may not havebeen rid of those things I once obsessed about for long, but I can safely say I do not think about them on a daily, and even weekly basis.

October 12, 2012

This question suggests some food issues. Why are you eating when you are not hungry?

Other than that, the sheer number of threads on weight and exercise, plus the detail, is just very odd.

Eating when Iam not hungry is a problem for sure. I know it is no big deal, as I do not have the genetic tendency to become large that easily.

But still, I do it because I like eating and am very hedonistic. I have ALWAYS over eaten since well before my ED.. I would be a chubby teenager at the computer, be full from dinner, and suddenly feel like getting a bunch of bread and putting olives on it. Or peanut butter. So I would go and eat it. Without being slightly hungry, and normally very full already.

Or I would have a bowl of cereal. Enjoy it so much, I would get another.

Or, I would eata chocolate snack pack, pudding cup type of thing. It would taste so so good, that I would eat another. And on a couple of instances, ANOTHER (3!).

I have self destructive tendencies, hence the high volumes of threads about my relationship, when I am actually really in love and over the moon about it (as is he).

Over eating became a way to self destruct after my ED; a way to...make myself feel sh*t.

Now, I mostly eat when hungry and out or routine/when I feel like food.

I try to eat out of routine/ then wait until I am hungry again. So I TRY to do some hungry eating every day.

Now though, I gues I eat all the time when not hungry out of habbit. I graze all day, that is my STYLE; yet I eat a little to much just for the pleasure of it, when I know I am no longer hungry.

October 12, 2012

I do not obsessive about those things, Little Tiger.

I do not think about them every day.

When I think about them, it is not in an obsessive manner.....

I am seriously trying to think about how often I think about BMI and all that.....

I cannot remember the last time I thought about BMI, before this thread. Not this week at least.

.....I honestly do not understand why you purport to know what I think?

I have recovered from all my disordered food thoughts, for the most part.

I have only recently recovered though, as you can see from my past threads.

But I am still recovered, at this stage, to the point where I do NOT think about those things.

I know what I think; and I am telling you.

I may not havebeen rid of those things I once obsessed about for long, but I can safely say I do not think about them on a daily, and even weekly basis.

OK Leigh, I'm not here to argue or try to tell you how you think. I was just concerned by what I read.

So what 'advice' were you looking for in this thread? Or is it just a weight loss progress journal? If you are not 'obsessing' then I am genuinely curious.

October 12, 2012

I do not obsessive about those things, Little Tiger..

Yes, you do.

I do not think about them every day.

When I think about them, it is not in an obsessive manner......

Again..yes you do.

I am seriously trying to think about how often I think about BMI and all that.....

I cannot remember the last time I thought about BMI, before this thread. Not this week at least..

You were thinking about it enough to post this thread. You absolutely remember the last time you thought about it...it was today, yesterday, the day before, ect.

.....I honestly do not understand why you purport to know what I think?

I have recovered from all my disordered food thoughts, for the most part.

No, you haven't.

I have only recently recovered though, as you can see from my past threads.

But I am still recovered, at this stage, to the point where I do NOT think about those things.

You are not "recovered." And you never will be. EVER.

I am not trying to be mean Leigh. But I know all this, because I suffer from it too. Everything you just described I do as well. The difference between us is that I realize it and you don't. You are in denial. Unfortunately you are going to have to come to this conclusion on your own. Nobody on this forum will be able to convince you that you still have eating disordered thoughts.

I guarantee you will think this way for the rest of your life. It's like being a drug addict. They will never go away. In time they will decrease, but you will still think about it...trust me. I utilize coping skills to deal with this hardship. I also track my food intake in an app on my cell phone. This seems to help me, as I can better manage my weight, hence not obsessing over losing/gaining.

Being pregnant was not easy. I was worried about gaining weight. I tried to tell myself it was "medicine" for the baby. My husband was very supportive, and reminded me that I needed to eat.

This will never go away. You are never going to be recovered. It won't happen. But admitting you have this problem, and learning how to deal with it is how you get into RECOVERY. It's ongoing.

October 12, 2012

Lauriebell - oh, tecnically I do not believe I will be over it; but I CAN promise, I do not obsess over all of those things on a daily basis.

Sorry, I just do not think about the freakin BMI scale daily!

I know what I think......

And I view food and exercise in a healthy way - as in, I do not ever think about starving myself; THAT is a given.

Furthermore, I do not think about exercise in a dangerous way; I do not think at all about over exercising.

I view food and exercise very healthily I think; moderation, treating yourself occasionally, finding a program you LIKE enough to be able to stick to it and be comfortable with your body related goals.

How much more healthy can you feel about it all!!!!!!!!!!

I don't EVER think about: calorie restriction, or over exercising, and how to use the two in order to attain an unhealthy goal. I just do not think abour that at all anymore.

October 12, 2012

So yeah, I have always likend an ED to an addiction; you never recover, but you can sure get to a stage where you do NOT think about weight or BMI daily.

Sorry, but I definately do not think about all that list daily.

October 12, 2012

Leigh, you know how my body looks from photos, I am slim but with a big appetite lol. What helped...well, my current situation...no appetite. I think my stomach has shrunk, even when I'm hungry I can't eat as much as I used to be able to. Maybe gradually eat smaller portions or something and your stomach will shrink. ?

October 12, 2012

Leigh, you know how my body looks from photos, I am slim but with a big appetite lol. What helped...well, my current situation...no appetite. I think my stomach has shrunk, even when I'm hungry I can't eat as much as I used to be able to. Maybe gradually eat smaller portions or something and your stomach will shrink. ?

Oh dear, what happened with you was really bad. I have always eaten in times of stress and personal injury though (when wisdom teeth were removed, all four at once: I tried to eat chocolate the following day OOPS and ouchies:()

I was once your weight but do better at about 120 lbs at my slimmest.

Having had an ED at least one consolation is that I know what my cut of points are, and know what is physically thin yet healthy for me.

AGH I really dunno how to stop eating so much but yet I THINK I do.....

I Just ate a piece of bread with cheese and mustard on it (albiet healthy organic rye bread home made, and sugar and free mustard with JUST mustard in it LOL)

...I then went and got another piece.

I just need to stop getting more of everything when I am not hungry and do not neet it

October 12, 2012

Lauriebell - oh and congrats on the baby! Was it a boy or girl? And how did you deal with the pregnancy weight?

I am sure that would be a huge issue for me, my disorder would come out alot, in that: because I am not that petite to begin with, I cannot fathom being HEAVIER than 135 lbs once I HAVE the baby... ANd during, being 160 lbs? I would NOT handle it.

I am fine where I am now, I do not stress out at all about my current weight, despite it being the heaviest I have pretty much been... But MORE weight would really cause me to struggle.

Lastly: I consciously do not think about things like BMI or calories daily? Do you? In what context/ Because I really do not think of those things much at all.

The only food and exercise related thoughts I think about daily are:

- I am trying to lose a little vanity weight (not that I am fat), so " have I eaten and execised in a way that will enable this? If so YAY I feel like I am achieving a goal.

Yet most days I think " oh. I eat toomuch and exercise too little for weight loss and a rock hard body; I am not bothered by this but I am very excited at the idea of having a slim body again"

I honestly cannot think about the last time I thought about anything other than that.

OH WAIT lately I have thought about the benefits of strangth training! Not daily, but I have been looking so forward to seeing the results of sticking to a real resistance program, which I never really have done for years.

October 12, 2012

I am sure that would be a huge issue for me, my disorder would come out alot, in that: because I am not that petite to begin with, I cannot fathom being HEAVIER than 135 lbs once I HAVE the baby... ANd during, being 160 lbs? I would NOT handle it..

And that's not normal.

I had eating disordered thoughts as an adolescent, so I recognize them. But I haven't had them in a long time, so it is possible to completely let it go.

How often do you weigh yourself?

If you struggle with uncontrolled eating (is that what the op is saying?), and you have eating disordered thoughts simmering deep down, are you acting in a bulemic pattern? Binging and regretting?

October 12, 2012

Is anyone else in a similar predicament?

I am a HUGE eater who has always been slim for the amount I eat, although I am not very petite or slinny by any means.

My problem: if I merely ate NORMALLY I would be slim, yet I am so familar with eating huge amounts that I stay heavier than I COULD be if I had ANY will power:mad:

I eat about 2500 calories now with not doing much exercise and wont go over about 133 lbs, at 5'5, with a huge bubble butt and curvy body type.
BMI of about 22.5 - 23 is the heaviest I get. BMI 23 aint thin, but it asint fat either, despite daily overeating.

I am one of those women who eats a lot, and ALWAYS has as long as I remember, from childhood. ALways eating more than my friends. Alwas a HUGE eater, yet stayed skinny for my size, but not ULTRA, sickly thin. Thin enough for a few people to comment over the years though.

I WANT SOME WILL POWER... ugh.

I am glad I do not get fat easily, yet I do miss having a banging body.

133 isn't really much of anything if you're 5'5". I'm 126lbs at 5'3" and I feel pretty thin. I haven't been under 120 since middle school. I've always had a curvy/muscular body type...wide hips etc. I also love to eat, but we're within normal ranges. Let's just be glad we aren't overweight with a love to eat. I already have people telling me I don't need to lose any more weight.

Try and make sure you're eating right without depriving yourself and exercising regularly. If you need to lose weight, it will come off from there.

I am surprised I actually didn't develop an eating disorder when I was younger. My dad is obsessed with women my height being 105lbs...if a woman is 5'3" and 120, he thinks she's chubby. And the funny thing is, my family is not thin as a whole! I am the smallest one in my family.

Edited October 12, 2012 by pink_sugar

October 12, 2012

And that's not normal.

I had eating disordered thoughts as an adolescent, so I recognize them. But I haven't had them in a long time, so it is possible to completely let it go.

How often do you weigh yourself?

If you struggle with uncontrolled eating (is that what the op is saying?), and you have eating disordered thoughts simmering deep down, are you acting in a bulemic pattern? Binging and regretting?

I don't weigh myelf regularly. Once every two months I would estimate.

And I have never thrown upbeen bulimic.I have, however, Over eaten as a form of self sabotage.

And YES it IS rather normal for women to freak out about gaining weight when pregnant.

When your never over 135 ish lbs your entire life, it would be, to many, a little uncomfortable being heavier, when you feel your already at your limit.

I would not be too thrown by it, you know, I cannot see myself thinking of indulging in calorie deprivation.

I just do not find the whole scaredo f weighyt gain for pregnancy thing as THAT ab normal.

AT the end of the day, it is ONLY dangerous if you think about calorie depreivation, and exercising too much; I think about non of those things, and eat a healthy, balanced diet.

I doubt I have much of a problem, besides the tendency to relapse in the future, due to "technically" still having an ED. Which is very much dormant, considering I do not think about weight related issues that little tigerlisten DAILY.

YOU HAVE to STOP telling me what I THINK people!

If tell you that I DO NOT think about BMI and all that daily, THAT IS WHAT I THINK.

I cannot StAND people who tell ME what I think!

October 12, 2012

133 isn't really much of anything if you're 5'5". I'm 126lbs at 5'3" and I feel pretty thin. I haven't been under 120 since middle school. I've always had a curvy/muscular body type...wide hips etc. I also love to eat, but we're within normal ranges. Let's just be glad we aren't overweight with a love to eat. I already have people telling me I don't need to lose any more weight.

Try and make sure you're eating right without depriving yourself and exercising regularly. If you need to lose weight, it will come off from there.

I am surprised I actually didn't develop an eating disorder when I was younger. My dad is obsessed with women my height being 105lbs...if a woman is 5'3" and 120, he thinks she's chubby. And the funny thing is, my family is not thin as a whole! I am the smallest one in my family.

People like your dad annoy me, as only about 2% of women are naturally thin. 70% of women are naturally supposed to have BMI'S of over 21 and over.

120 lbs and 5 ' 5 is like.. BMI of 20, which LESS than 30 of women CAN attain, without compromising their health.

Your dad obviously only feels disgusted with the majority of women:sick::sick:

I would find it hard to even be around a man who is disgusted by the natural female form, and literally only feels attracted to model types. How yuck.

And people sometimes comment that I am slim, my boyfriend says I am a "thin chick" ... Meaning I look slender at times. When I wear high shoes and boot cut legs, yes I do look thin.

I Just want a bikini body, and to be active daily and to sto over eating. It is that simple really. DO you feel that if you refrained from having to have that third slice of cake, you would be thinner? That is my thing. I am WAY out of shape compared to what I COULD be. ANd I aLREADY have a pretty good body for someone who execises as little and eats as much as I do!

So I just think " wow, if I ate normally and stopped over eating, and exercised 5 days a week like I enjoy and stop being lazy, would have SUCH a great figure!!!!!!"

I have a good body shape and metabolism to work with,that is all, so I am wasting a good thing here.

In my pictures I was about 119 lbs. Iam 133 ish now. I am not really after that much of a weight loss actually; I Just know the weight will fall of fwhen I stop over eating routinely and start exercising.

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fast metabolism but too weak to eat NORMALLY

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