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So the last month has been painful, at first I couldnt think straight or move. The breakup had been coming for a month, it was messy, neither of us knew who had broken up with who. At the last moment, I went round and tried to talk things through and she slammed the door in my face. I then sent a quick email just saying I loved and will miss her, and I wished her the best.

 

The response was blocking me on everything and telling me to never contact her again. Its the finality that struck me. Guess I should have been ready for it, as I was close to breaking it off myself, but decided to talk things through for a week to see if we could come to an agreement.

 

Since her email Ive gone cold no contact. First two weeks were horrendous, weird when someone tells you not to do something it makes you want to do it!! But Im picking up slowly, meeting new people, going on a trip soon, and while Im still hurting Im starting to meet new women, and get myself out there.

 

Im not sure if what Im going through is normal. Is it normal to still have a deep ache in your stomach, a kind of undefinable pain? a strange yearning for something even though you werent right together? is it normal to think about her all the time?

 

Its early days. Weve never cleanly broken up before, theres always been backward and forward, off/on, booty calls etc etc. Guess I gotta keep on with the NC, and try and convince myself its gone for good. Sooner I can do that, the sooner I can move on.

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