My brain is fried, any advice would be more than welcome...........

[BruceLee]

I was wondering if anybody could offer me any advice. I've been with my current partner for four years, during which time she has suffered from serious depression and feelings of self harm. Because I was the closest person to her, she took all her anger out on me, which has left me feeling at an all time low both physically and mentally. I know it's not her fault, and I really don't feel any animosity towards her, because she wasn't in the right frame of mind to treat me any other way. I have, however found that her having this problem has tainted our relationship and recently i've started resenting alot of the time i've had to spend looking after her instead of spending time with my friends and family.

 

The really huge problem is that, recently, i met a girl at work who says she really likes me. We get on really well and always have a laugh together, and, although nothing has happened, i can't help but think i'd be so much happier with someone else. I have already decided that it is best if my current girlfriend and i split up, but she's tried to commit suicide so many times recently that i can't bring myself to tell her that i dont want to be with her any more. She's already lost all of her friends because of this and i cant stand seeing her in so much pain, especially if she has nobody else to help her through it. I feel like a total heel at the moment, and i cant think of anything i can do to resolve this situation, so any help would be much appreciated.

 

Cheers for now.

[Haunani]

ouch that's a pretty hard one - you want to have a normal relationship not be someone's caretaker like that.

 

Is she taking medication to help with her depression? she has no family that can help her? If she is suicidal she needs more help than you can possibly give her. It is hard because you feel obligated to stand by her, but what she's going through she needs to be medically supervised if she's that far along. Don't they have treatment centers?

 

Negativity breeds negativity and can pull you down. Knowing that someone else (healthy, happy, full of life) is waiting on the other end, if you break it off. Don't fall for that and add this kind of guilt to it too. Take a good long look into your heart, and do what you feel you need to - you have to take care of you, your mind, your spirit. If you feel you can go on this way living with your current gf with no end and no happy joy for the next 20 years, then great, stick by her side. You aren't married ........yet.

 

Think about it.

[BruceLee]

wow. You got your head screwed on........

 

She is on some heavy duty anti depressants and she's recently moved back in with her family. The problem is, though, that she hides all this from her mum and dad and refuses to talk to them about it. Now, even though she's miles away, i still get the phonecalls at 3 in the morning.

[BruceLee]

Jesus, why does this have to hurt so much? I'm sitting here crying like a child at nearly three in the morning because i feel so guilty. I haven't even done anything, just thought about what i'm going to say to her. She's got nobody else, and i can't bring myself to hurt her. My Mum told me today that she said she'd like an engagement ring as her 21st birthday present and i've been in a hell of a state ever since. I feel like a piece of crap........

 

Sorry if I'm sounding a bit pathetic and sorry for myself, but i'm totally at the end of my tether....