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Posted

Hello everyone

 

Posting after a gap -- in a nutshell - my so called EA is over - have been NA for over a month or perhaps longer. I do still feel low thinking about it and it makes me very sad just thinking about how much it hurts to miss someone I could relate to.....

 

In the meantime, I took everyone's advice on ending the EA and refocusing my energy and time on my M and kids - did that, still doing it. I have to say my days are easier to fill since I find things I can do for my kids and other stuff. However, my relationship with my H is still where it was...has possibly gone worse. He seems to be very busy with his work life, travels out of the country 3-4days every week. Calls once at night to wish the kids goodnight. We dont talk much when he's back home ...he watches TV or his fav shows on his ipad.

 

I dont know where I have got to - I feel very very lonely. Has anyone of you been where I am now and could you give me some good advice. I have been hurting for some time now.

Posted

Communication with your H is the key. You have next to none, seems to me.

 

Set up a date with your H, some time for one-to-one serious talk. Tell him outright what you are unhappy about, what your needs of him are. Get angry if you must, remorseful if that is the truth. Let it all out - including the online EA. Get him to realise that you need more emotional support. Without this, the gulf will only widen.

Posted

Are you still keeping the EA a secret? If so, I think secrecy like that is an intimacy killer. I think openness and honesty helps build intimacy and connection. Are you doing your part on that?

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