Lexie82 Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 I have absolutely no idea how to cope with everything that is going on at the minute so this may be a long post (sorry) I met my ex when i was travelling in Australia. He was Canadian and im from the UK. We spent 9 months travelling together and then we both had to return home. We spent 4 months apart and then I went to visit him in Canada for a week. Two weeks after i returned he dumped me over skype. We spent 6 months apart and then after speaking to each other we got back together, did the distance thing for 6 months and then i went to live in Canada for a year and also applied for immigration. Everything was great for the first month i was there and then i received an email from a girl he used to work with to tell me that the day i had flown out to Canada the previous year they had kissed and the day i left they slept together. He even carried on trying to be friends with her after we were back together. When i found out he was crying and sobbing telling me he had realised everything too late and that he knew he was falling for me and knew it was me he wanted to be with. A month later went to Korea on a scholarship for 4 months and when he got back he dumped me again saying he didnt love me and it was never going to come - a week prior to doing this he was talking about if we had children and when we retired and stuff like that. After we broke up i had to move out as were living in his parents apartment, i was rejected for my second working holiday visa but accepted for the first stage of immigration application and because of the time to process the second stage it was clear i would have to leave Canada for about a year and because of this i lost my job. To top it off the holiday he had bought me for my birthday he decided he was going to use it by himself. When he got back he was telling me he knew he was an idiot but that he had to fix himself and didnt want to be with anyone. Stupidly we carried on going on dates, hanging out and sleeping together and he was saying he was hoping at some point we may have a possibility of getting back together but that he didnt know if he could fix his issues. I told him if he even started seeing anyone casually then we didnt stand a chance of even being friends never mind anything else. He told me he didnt want to see anyone and that the only person he would even consider seeing again would be me. I left Canada to come back to the UK and since ive been back he has fooled around with one girl and it now seems he has now started seeing a 20 year old girl (he's 28 and im 30). He called me a ****ing psycho bitch when i asked him about the first girl and i havent spoken to him since. I know I would never want to be back with him again but I feel such an idiot for staying with him and because i gave up so much to be with him i feel totally lost. I twisted myself in knots to be supportive and totally neglected myself in the process. He's now the one who's moved on to what he possibly thinks is something better and im left feeling like a total idiot and completely used. I'm so disappointed with myself for trying to fix and hold things together when i should have walked away a long time ago and angry with myself for still crying over him when he couldnt care less anymore. I dont know what to do to feel better.
Ariadne Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Hi Lexie, Don't feel so bad. At least you got to live in another country and maybe in the future there may be a chance to either work or relocate there if you want because of this. And I'm sure you had good times with this guy. Too bad things had to come to an end, but some things are not meant forever. Good luck next time.
Jack32 Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 The best thing you could do would be to just take it as a life lesson and try to move on with your life. Try to stay positive and perhaps find things to occupy your free time with that take your mind off things.
Author Lexie82 Posted October 13, 2012 Author Posted October 13, 2012 I'd love to be able to move on but I feel so stuck. I keep thinking about the two of them together and it kills me, I just can't get it out of my head. Why did he say he needed to be alone and then suddenly start seeing this 20 year old kid? I asked him when he told me he didn't want to see anyone if he was just saying that to protect my feelings and he said he wasn't. I'm just crying all the time and feel I'm going backwards instead of forwards. I've enrolled on a college course and am also learning a new language and going out with friends but nothing seems to help; everything im doing just feels pointless. I just have a sick feeling inside and feel worse about myself when I think of him moving on and being with someone else. He dumped me twice and the girlfriend before me he dumped 3 times (always dumps around the 12 month mark) so it's possible this one wont last but who knows - could be the love of his life! I've found it hard being back in the UK as being away in Australia and Canada has meant I've lost a lot of friends as they have moved on in life and I feel such a loser as I'm back home with my parents after throwing all my eggs in one basket to try and make the relationship work and falling flat on my arse. I don't know what else to do and feel completely lost. My self esteem is shot to bits. What have other people done who have felt like this?
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