Chocolatebox Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Some months have passed since I broke up with my recent ex. I'm not really over it,but I found myself looking around again. I began flirting around with guys and that gave me a little bit of confidence,but that's one guy I always see at the uni who's driving me a little bit crazy! I firstly saw him outside the classroom. I noticed him cause he's cute and it seemed like he was giving me some glares. Then I walked near him cause I had to visit another class to find a friend of mine. Then I came back to my classroom and I saw him going in. He saw me too,and he sat next to me,immediately introducing himself. Then we did some chat,and he helped me with my ipod wi-fi connection. He also asked me why I was going in another class since it was the wrong place (so he noticed me!). When his friends asked him to sit next to them,he said "No,I don't want to sit near the professor,it's embarassing!" and it sounded like an excuse to me. At that point I thought he was interested! (and so was I) But then... mixed signals everywhere! Second time we saw each other,he just greeted me with a wink,but he didn't try to talk to me and he didn't sit next to me. Third time same thing,except I sat behind him and his friends,and the only thing he did was just asking me for my exercises. Fourth time the class was already full,his friends were near the professor as always,but he firstly sat behind me,then next to me saying he didn't have the book (it was true,but then comes out he had some photocopies...perhaps he forgot it). I tried to read his body language,but he seemed nervous (he kept touching his face and swinging his foot) and then bored because of the lesson. I tried to chat a bit,but he didn't initiate any conversation. Last time I greeted him,he replied back,and then... nothing. He just sat with his friends and that's it. I mean,what's the purpose of this? Did I misunderstand everything? Maybe he's just friendly,but I don't understand then why he acted so outgoing at the beginning,and then he didn't even try to say "how are you". What's your opinion about this? And do you think I now kind of like him because I feel lonely (because of my recent break up) or is it real attraction? I don't want a serious relationship right now,I just enjoy flirting and I wouldn't mind a date, but I really can't understand him... and myself,too.
River Rain Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 I hate game playing, either you like a person and want to pursue them or you don't. He sounds a little too hot and cold for my liking. I don't think it's worth your time at all! Well, listen...you broke up, it's over. You're lonely. I don't think that's why you chose to like this guy. I think that when a guy shows attention to a woman, she likes it, and vice versa. Probably has nothing to do with your break up. You just want some romance, nothing wrong with that. It's normal to feel lonely when you want to share your heart with someone, or if you just want to flirt and have fun. Don't associate it with your break up, you've moved on.
HeldbyGravity Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 I mean,what's the purpose of this? Did I misunderstand everything? Maybe he's just friendly,but I don't understand then why he acted so outgoing at the beginning,and then he didn't even try to say "how are you". What's your opinion about this? And do you think I now kind of like him because I feel lonely (because of my recent break up) or is it real attraction? I don't want a serious relationship right now,I just enjoy flirting and I wouldn't mind a date, but I really can't understand him... and myself,too. You're reading all of the signs, no worries there. He sounds like he is playing it cool, but to really know his intentions, you need a new arena. Ask him if he wants to hang out with you, alone or with a group of mutual friends. Gauge his interest Then. To judge if you are really attracted to him, answer the question What About Him Is Attractive. Make sure it's not only the things that remind you of your ex. Also, make Sure before you go after another guy, there are no feelings left over for your ex. I know it was a recent break up, so it Is entirely possible that you just miss being in a relationship. Make sure you're happy on your own before rushing into anything.
Author Chocolatebox Posted October 12, 2012 Author Posted October 12, 2012 Thank you for your replies! @River Rain: yeah,he's too much hot and cold for me either... I'm so nervous because I really feel attracted to him <_< and thinking about his weird behaviour makes me want to punch him in the face xD (not literally!) @HeldbyGravity: I don't think I feel attraction because he's similar to my ex. Actually,he doesn't remind me of him at all. My ex was asian,he's caucasian. He has some beard (my ex couldn't let his beard grow XD),and he's kind of a serious guy,my ex was a funny and jokey one. I don't know if my behaviour had something to do with him...but initially I was super friendly and smiley,too,it's when I had some doubts about his intentions that I acted a little bit colder,too! I don't know if I should make the "first move"... I'm afraid I might just give him an ego boost >__<
todreaminblue Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 Some months have passed since I broke up with my recent ex. I'm not really over it,but I found myself looking around again. I began flirting around with guys and that gave me a little bit of confidence,but that's one guy I always see at the uni who's driving me a little bit crazy! I firstly saw him outside the classroom. I noticed him cause he's cute and it seemed like he was giving me some glares. Then I walked near him cause I had to visit another class to find a friend of mine. Then I came back to my classroom and I saw him going in. He saw me too,and he sat next to me,immediately introducing himself. Then we did some chat,and he helped me with my ipod wi-fi connection. He also asked me why I was going in another class since it was the wrong place (so he noticed me!). When his friends asked him to sit next to them,he said "No,I don't want to sit near the professor,it's embarassing!" and it sounded like an excuse to me. At that point I thought he was interested! (and so was I) But then... mixed signals everywhere! Second time we saw each other,he just greeted me with a wink,but he didn't try to talk to me and he didn't sit next to me. Third time same thing,except I sat behind him and his friends,and the only thing he did was just asking me for my exercises. Fourth time the class was already full,his friends were near the professor as always,but he firstly sat behind me,then next to me saying he didn't have the book (it was true,but then comes out he had some photocopies...perhaps he forgot it). I tried to read his body language,but he seemed nervous (he kept touching his face and swinging his foot) and then bored because of the lesson. I tried to chat a bit,but he didn't initiate any conversation. Last time I greeted him,he replied back,and then... nothing. He just sat with his friends and that's it. I mean,what's the purpose of this? Did I misunderstand everything? Maybe he's just friendly,but I don't understand then why he acted so outgoing at the beginning,and then he didn't even try to say "how are you". What's your opinion about this? And do you think I now kind of like him because I feel lonely (because of my recent break up) or is it real attraction? I don't want a serious relationship right now,I just enjoy flirting and I wouldn't mind a date, but I really can't understand him... and myself,too. I am going to invent a mood t shirt that changes colour when you like a person i mean more than like....it would start out white for neutral like meh not feelin anything.....it would go green for hey come closer it would go purple for no i mean closer than that green and it would go azure blue for hello lets get out of here and go for a walk i wanna spend time with you ..........they say your body temperature goes up when you feel attraction so i would have to do it on sweatiness....lol...the other way to tell is take someones pulse....which is a pretty strange thing to walk up and say to someone.....hey can i check your pulse out i want to see what i do to your heart rate.....mine lol would be off the chart if the guy i like did that.....i think i would faint which also would be a dead give away .......i cant give you help with signals....but when i do make that shirt or take someones pulse i will let you know the results....other wise explore your feelings for the guy.......write that list that another poster talked about....you are over with you ex so move on be happy that you feel an attraction adn take a step....with or without a pulse monitor........say you're doing research check some others pulse and ask him.....smilin...i am kidding....thinking about doing it myself though.... just ask him out it will be a no or a yes......two answers one outcome.......you will know where to go from there...best wishes sending you a mood shirt in the near future...deb
HeldbyGravity Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 I don't know if I should make the "first move"... I'm afraid I might just give him an ego boost >__< Ego boost isn't always a bad thing. Unless he is naturally cocky xD.
truth_seeker Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 Don't be held back by fear! Risk taking is a part of life. People are afraid to take risks because of failure. Lets say you put yourself out there and he rejects you, which is the worst case scenario. What happens? Your ego is bruised for a little while? You now know he doesn't like you? This will allow you to get answers and move on. As of now, you're stuck wondering about this guy. Make a move. Forget about giving him an ego boost. Get your answers!
Author Chocolatebox Posted October 13, 2012 Author Posted October 13, 2012 @todreaminblue: yours is a great idea! hahaha! just tell me when you're going to make the t-shirt,I'll be your first customer Thank you guys for your replies! Being direct seems now the only way to have my answers... unfortunately I'm quite shy when it comes to being direct when I don't know anything about the other person's feelings about me. I'm (obviously,as most people) afraid of rejection,and the worst part is that he attends same lessons I attend,so it would be highly embarassing to meet after a rejection <__< Anyway,I think I'll start slowly,being more close and friendly,and,if his response is positive,I'll get my answers :S Urgh,I become so shy in these situations!
River Rain Posted October 13, 2012 Posted October 13, 2012 Being direct seems now the only way to have my answers... unfortunately I'm quite shy when it comes to being direct when I don't know anything about the other person's feelings about me. I'm (obviously,as most people) afraid of rejection,and the worst part is that he attends same lessons I attend,so it would be highly embarassing to meet after a rejection <__< Anyway,I think I'll start slowly,being more close and friendly,and,if his response is positive,I'll get my answers :S Urgh,I become so shy in these situations! Urgh is right. I don't think I'll ever NOT be shy in these situations, but I honestly just bite the bullet and be direct. I'd rather get rejected early on than when I've developed an attachment. If you make the moves and find out what he wants, then it makes you feel more confident and you won't have those insecurities, always wondering what he's thinking. I hope it works out for you, romance is nice 1
Author Chocolatebox Posted October 16, 2012 Author Posted October 16, 2012 Ok,today I saw him again. Actually,I also saw him yesterday but just by accident,on the street. He just said hello and I replied smiling,and I think he prolonged eye contact. But nothing more. Today I was chatting on my ipod with a friend,waiting for the lesson outside the classroom,when I felt someone touching me lightly on the waist. It was him! He greeted me but then I think he wouldn't say nothing more if I didn't initiate a little convo (things like: how are you? how did the last lesson go?). He sat next to me,but he actually didn't try to chat. A guy friend of him came and he passed most of the lesson chatting with him (about things he could have told to me,too,everything related to the lesson!). I saw that he was friendly and greeted some girls,too,so maybe he's just that kind of guy. He was also jokey and I couldn't help but think why he didn't joke with me xD lol Body language: same as the last time,with some closeness signs (arms crossed). Dunno what to think. I thought about being direct but sorry, guys, I couldn't. I just couldn't, I was blocked by my shyness. Long story short,I initiated almost every conversation (nothing major,though), if he didn't came to me to say hello I would say he doesn't see me even as a friend. Guys,I don't know what to think, I'm confused and too shy to ask him out or something like that.
River Rain Posted October 16, 2012 Posted October 16, 2012 If you're too shy, then I'd say just move on from it. He seems either shy himself, or just not interested in you. Don't spend time being confused anymore because it only hurts you. I think though, if he showed you a little more interest, that you might not be so shy. The shyness comes from insecurity that you might get rejected because he's still sending you mixed signals. It's not worth worrying about.
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