irc333 Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Funny thing, I was browsing through the dating site in my small, hicktown area....and had come across this woman's profile....she had a lot of self-taken mirror photos of herself in different outfits. Later on in the week, she added two, professionally done boudior photos. (sexy underwear/ tube tops / etc. A couple of studio shots, with a back drop....she had longer hair in them, too. That being said, what does it say about a woman who is willing to put up photos like that to attract men? Esp, when she looks just as attractive in regular clothing?
CarrieT Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Meh - I had shots taken of me as a 1940s movie star (b&w, very Noir). I did it for ME and not to attract someone. Sometimes we do it because we like the fantasy of being what we are not and with the prevalence of Victoria Secret models, we average girls just want a bit of glam to feel we are what we think guys want: glamorous.
oaks Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 That being said, what does it say about a woman who is willing to put up photos like that to attract men? Esp, when she looks just as attractive in regular clothing? It probably tells me that she's not embarrassed to be seen looking like that. I might consider that to be a good thing.
Author irc333 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 It probably tells me that she's not embarrassed to be seen looking like that. I might consider that to be a good thing. Yeah ,but with this trending upward, they're treating dating profiles like Facebook (or as a supplement to FB), just to bring up their ego, doing it JUST for the attention, and not actually intending on meeting anyone.
CarrieT Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Yeah ,but with this trending upward, they're treating dating profiles like Facebook (or as a supplement to FB), just to bring up their ego, doing it JUST for the attention, and not actually intending on meeting anyone. I'm sure for some this is the case, but I don't think you can make that as a blanket reason for everyone. Actions like this are far more nuanced and to look for reasons behind it will make you crazy. What about the guys that show themselves shirtless or with lots of other girls hanging on their arms? Just building their ego as well, right?
oaks Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Yeah ,but with this trending upward, they're treating dating profiles like Facebook (or as a supplement to FB), just to bring up their ego, doing it JUST for the attention, and not actually intending on meeting anyone. That's interesting. How do you know this by looking at their photos? I'd like to avoid sending messages to people who aren't intending on meeting anyone.
Emilia Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 I like natural photos because I like to be able to guess how the person might look in real life. If it's too contrived, it might not be a realistic indication of what he looks like. 1
Author irc333 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 What about the guys that show themselves shirtless or with lots of other girls hanging on their arms? Just building their ego as well, right? Exactly! Men with women hanging in their arms. I've seen dating profiles of women stating: "If you have bathroom mirror pics of you shirtless (or just shirtless) showing off your abs, I'm not impressed, do not email me!" And others stating, "If you have pictures of women hanging all over you in your profile pics, do not email me"
oaks Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 I like natural photos because I like to be able to guess how the person might look in real life. If it's too contrived, it might not be a realistic indication of what he looks like. Good point, and anyone can look good after a hair-do that wouldn't survive the real world for 10 minutes and make-up that took an hour to put on. I've seen profiles that explicitly say that if all the photos in the profile of a potential suitor are "professional photos" then they shouldn't make contact.
oaks Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Exactly! Men with women hanging in their arms. I've seen dating profiles of women stating: "If you have bathroom mirror pics of you shirtless (or just shirtless) showing off your abs, I'm not impressed, do not email me!" And others stating, "If you have pictures of women hanging all over you in your profile pics, do not email me" On the subject of bathroom mirrors... I've seen both: "don't contact me if you have a photo taken in the bathroom mirror" and also "here's the obligatory photo of me taken in the bathroom mirror" Which just goes to show that attraction isn't a one-size-fits-all affair. Which is great news!
carhill Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 That being said, what does it say about a woman who is willing to put up photos like that to attract men? Esp, when she looks just as attractive in regular clothing? She likes having a full inbox. 1
River Rain Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 I like natural photos because I like to be able to guess how the person might look in real life. If it's too contrived, it might not be a realistic indication of what he looks like. I'm with you on that. I have a profile at a dating site, and my photos are all of me without makeup and as natural as possible. The way I see it, if I put too much makeup or alter the photo in any way, I'd be making myself unrealistic and I'd probably never be able to meet anyone in person after...I'd be too insecure, so natural is best. When I get past the get-to-know-you stage and we're committed, then I'm happy to send more creative photos! And that's another thing...who knows how photoshopped some of these profile pictures are too.
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 My photos are the best shots of me, and represent level of effort (hair&make up) that I would go through in early dating stages. While they were certainly not professional, they are still very flattering shots. However, in most cases guys ask to see me again so I guess they are not too far off from reality. I have even been told by a number of men that they were pleasantly surprised when they met me in real life 1
Emilia Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 I'm with you on that. I have a profile at a dating site, and my photos are all of me without makeup and as natural as possible. The way I see it, if I put too much makeup or alter the photo in any way, I'd be making myself unrealistic and I'd probably never be able to meet anyone in person after...I'd be too insecure, so natural is best. When I get past the get-to-know-you stage and we're committed, then I'm happy to send more creative photos! And that's another thing...who knows how photoshopped some of these profile pictures are too. Yes I've always had my photos up without make up and in natural settings, taken during some outdoor activity, etc. No good showing what you look like in soft focus once you hit 35 I went out with a guy on a date once who had photoshopped his profile pic. The date didn't last long. 1
River Rain Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 My photos are the best shots of me, and represent level of effort (hair&make up) that I would go through in early dating stages. While they were certainly not professional, they are still very flattering shots. So then your photos are natural because that's what you'd look like in "real" life, I guess by "natural", I meant how we look every day. I rarely wear makeup, so for me that's my natural look. However, in most cases guys ask to see me again so I guess they are not too far off from reality. I have even been told by a number of men that they were pleasantly surprised when they met me in real life That's nice! I think that means they loved your photos and are glad you look the same in person
Imajerk17 Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 (edited) My photos are the best shots of me, and represent level of effort (hair&make up) that I would go through in early dating stages. While they were certainly not professional, they are still very flattering shots. However, in most cases guys ask to see me again so I guess they are not too far off from reality. I have even been told by a number of men that they were pleasantly surprised when they met me in real life It could mean that. Keep in mind though, that in OLD, most men have to work *a lot* harder to get a date than women do, and so when we do meet up, we do want it to get off the ground. In your case, the guy might have been one of the few people whom you actually chose to write back, out of all the people who wrote you. In the guy's case, you might have been one of the few people who actually chose to write *him* back, out of all the people *he* wrote. See the difference in the levels of investment between you and him already? I have met my share of women online, and still, only 1 in 5 of my first emails get a response. Women from what I understand get 10+ first emails a day, so they get to pick and choose. I VERY rarely (like 4--8 times a year) get a first email or wink from a "real" profile (i.e., not a prostitute or a Nigerian scam), nevermind how good of a prospect they are. Edited October 11, 2012 by Imajerk17
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 It could mean that. Keep in mind though, that in OLD, most men have to work *a lot* harder to get a date than women do, and so when we do meet up, we do want it to get off the ground. In your case, the guy might have been one of the few people whom you actually chose to write back, out of all the people who wrote you. In the guy's case, you might have been one of the few people who actually chose to write *him* back, out of all the people *he* wrote. See the difference in the levels of investment between you and him already? I have met my share of women online, and still, only 1 in 5 of my first emails get a response. Women from what I understand get 10+ first emails a day, so they get to pick and choose. I VERY rarely (like 4--8 times a year) get a first email or wink from a "real" profile (i.e., not a prostitute or a Nigerian scam), nevermind how good of a prospect they are. Eh I dunno. My male friends in my area all get plenty of options from OLD. Most multi-date or have FWBs from OKC.
verhrzn Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Holy frick, women really can't win can they? Don't put up sexy/full body photos, men immediately assume you're fat/ugly. Put up sexy, well-done photos, you're an attention whore and a slut. Maybe she put up her boudoir photos cause she thinks those look the best and that's what men want. 1
yongyong Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Just put your damn whole body picture in normal clothes. You can show off your body by wearing leggings, hot pants, cammies or bikini at beach. Those are appropriate. What if men do the same thing. he's wearing a speedo in a studio photo? You are just trying to defend women without a logic. You and Men are the same. eg:) You see a chick wearing really short hot pants. it's showing her butt cheeks. this guy next to you is saying 'that looks too slutty' I bet 100%, you will agree with him OR Are you going to be an idiot by saying 'hey, what's wrong showing off butt cheeks in public??' Holy frick, women really can't win can they? Don't put up sexy/full body photos, men immediately assume you're fat/ugly. Put up sexy, well-done photos, you're an attention whore and a slut. Maybe she put up her boudoir photos cause she thinks those look the best and that's what men want.
verhrzn Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Just put your damn whole body picture in normal clothes. You can show off your body by wearing leggings, hot pants, cammies or bikini at beach. Those are appropriate. What if men do the same thing. he's wearing a speedo in a studio photo? You are just trying to defend women without a logic. You and Men are the same. eg:) You see a chick wearing really short hot pants. it's showing her butt cheeks. this guy next to you is saying 'that looks too slutty' I bet 100%, you will agree with him OR Are you going to be an idiot by saying 'hey, what's wrong showing off butt cheeks in public??' A dating site is not necessarily public. She knows sexy photos get men's attention, and that's what she is after, which is why she is on a dating site. I really don't get the logic for complaining that women are putting up sexy photos. How is that not a GOOD thing for you?? 1
ScreamingTrees Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 What about the guys that show themselves shirtless or with lots of other girls hanging on their arms? Just building their ego as well, right? Actually, yeah, I don't see how any girl looking for a relationship would contact one of those guys, they're more often than not douche bags and their bodies are their only potentially redeeming factor, they're probably only looking for a screw.. There are plenty of people who're in great shape who don't have to reveal their whole hand right away.. They're perfect for the OP's hypothetical female counterpart, I guess. The former photo would scream out "I'm a try hard! I want sex! I've nothing else to offer you!" and the latter would give me the "I care about quantity over quality, I'm not a serious relationship/commitment sort of guy"... For me, if I got these vibes from a girl, I'd just move on, so I don't see how it's any different with a dude.
yongyong Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 What kinds of sexy photo are we talking about? explain in very detail or show me the link. A dating site is not necessarily public. She knows sexy photos get men's attention, and that's what she is after, which is why she is on a dating site. I really don't get the logic for complaining that women are putting up sexy photos. How is that not a GOOD thing for you??
Imajerk17 Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 (edited) Funny thing, I was browsing through the dating site in my small, hicktown area....and had come across this woman's profile....she had a lot of self-taken mirror photos of herself in different outfits. Later on in the week, she added two, professionally done boudior photos. (sexy underwear/ tube tops / etc. A couple of studio shots, with a back drop....she had longer hair in them, too. That being said, what does it say about a woman who is willing to put up photos like that to attract men? Esp, when she looks just as attractive in regular clothing? It says that she wants to make a strong impression and attract the attention of a wider pool of prospects. Not that I think it's the best strategy (although it could be if done VERY tastefully), but from what I have seen, most people are fairly clueless about about dating. I have heard of dudes taking "bathroom mirror" shots of them shirtless with their camera-phone, despite that this is the first no-no taught to guys in OLD 101. Maybe these dudes think women will be attracted to how good they look with their shirt off? And I have seen women's profiles where they post pictures of them getting really flirty with another guy at a bar or something. That is another no-no. (For one thing, the last thing a guy wants to think about when considering someone to be her girlfriend is her having male friends she is "too" close to, or even worse, her engaging in inappropriate behavior with another dude with alcohol involved. We also don't want to hear about your ex early on either.) Maybe these women think guys will see that they have other men attracted to them and will be attracted too? Edited October 11, 2012 by Imajerk17
Recommended Posts