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Its been a month and I feel worse and worse each day! How do I get over him?

nala.x

By nala.x
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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nala.x Member

nala.x

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Were 20. We broke up a month ago, and were together for nearly a year. I was always insecure about his ex, she tried to break us and was in his friend group so they always ran into each other. A week before we broke up, we had a fight,and he said "it's over bye!". I was upset I messaged a guy he's insecure about, saying "I'm single again yay". The next day he said he doesnt remember saying "its over" but then that night he saw those texts and dumped me.

 

He said he loved me but couldn’t be with me cos I hurt him. A week after we broke up him and his ex kissed and she went back to his house! He thinks he has done nothing wrong. Since then they have been seeing each other. She was horrible and controlling, and slept with 2 of his best friends, why did he go back there?

 

We dated for nearly a year, he must have had genuine feelings for me..so how did he get over me so quickly? Today I went to his house to pick up my things because he was at work, i was chatting to his family and then he came home, and completely ignored me! He cant even look me in the eye! Now he always goes out, hardly sees his family, is rude to everyone. WTH. Is there anything i can do to get him back? I dont know what to do..

KatZee Established Member

KatZee

Posted
Posted

We dated for nearly a year, he must have had genuine feelings for me..so how did he get over me so quickly?

 

Perhaps his feelings for you weren't as genuine as you think. I was with my ex for THREE years and he pulled this s.hit. He didn't go back to his ex when we ended, but he did cheat on me with her in the beginning of our relationship.

 

I truly don't believe my ex ever loved me or cared for me the way he said he did. To me, love means you don't treat people this way.

 

If he was able to "move on" so quickly after the split it's because:

 

1. He wasn't all into it to begin with

2. He checked out before it ended without you knowing

3. He was never truly over his ex to begin with and you were a rebound

 

Honestly, he didn't even try to work this out with you. He just dumped you and used the excuse that you "hurt him." In my opinion this is total bulls.hit. This was his out.

 

Why would you want this guy back? You're not a priority to him. He went back to his ex without thinking twice. This guy isn't a great guy and look at how he treats his family. Leave him to his dirty ex, they deserve each other.

  • Like 2
flitzanu Established Member

flitzanu

Posted
Posted
Were 20. We broke up a month ago, and were together for nearly a year. I was always insecure about his ex, she tried to break us and was in his friend group so they always ran into each other. A week before we broke up, we had a fight,and he said "it's over bye!". I was upset I messaged a guy he's insecure about, saying "I'm single again yay". The next day he said he doesnt remember saying "its over" but then that night he saw those texts and dumped me.

 

He said he loved me but couldn’t be with me cos I hurt him. A week after we broke up him and his ex kissed and she went back to his house! He thinks he has done nothing wrong. Since then they have been seeing each other. She was horrible and controlling, and slept with 2 of his best friends, why did he go back there?

 

We dated for nearly a year, he must have had genuine feelings for me..so how did he get over me so quickly? Today I went to his house to pick up my things because he was at work, i was chatting to his family and then he came home, and completely ignored me! He cant even look me in the eye! Now he always goes out, hardly sees his family, is rude to everyone. WTH. Is there anything i can do to get him back? I dont know what to do..

 

both of you are 20 and you're acting like teenagers, as you should be. go find a new guy, this one sounds like he's wanting to try new things now.

SmileFace Established Member

SmileFace

Posted
Posted

By moving on with your life. Let him live his.

ja123 Established Member

ja123

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Posted

Look for ways to develop your own internal validation, rather than looking to get external/approval validation.

 

Google that. I just di and here's a site: Who Needs Approval?

 

Plus you need to grieve your loss, so that you can move on.

TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

Posted
Posted

Pull your dignity up and move on.

 

You can't get him back - and frankly, why would you want to?

Enjoy your young life and be as free as a bird.

 

Step up, move on and get ahead.

  • Like 1
darkmoon Established Member

darkmoon

Posted
Posted (edited)

"ended because we kept arguing"

 

what did you argue about?

why did you insist on your opinion being right?

were you abusive/insulting?

perhaps your opinion drove him away

maybe the ex was waiting for all your arguments to come to a head - seriously what were the arguments about?

Edited by darkmoon
TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

Posted
Posted

nala.x, you're obsessing. How many more threads do you need to post about this one guy?

He's not even that great a catch....

You're repeating yourself ad nauseam, hun - what is it you want to hear from us?

  • Like 1
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nala.x Member

nala.x

Posted
  • Author
Posted

darkmoon,

 

we would argue about his ex. at the beginning, they hated each other, and everything between me and him was great. then they started being "civil". then they started to have conversations each time they saw each other at a party or so. i would tell him i didnt want him to talk to her, because i didnt want the feelings to come back. pretty much all we would argue about is about me being insecure about his ex!

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nala.x Member

nala.x

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Wow, im sorry! I was in a daze, so i just kept posting :( I didnt even realise I looked like an obsessive stalker. I guess i just want answers but no one can give me an answer apart from him!

TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

Posted
Posted

Or you.

 

All you argued about - was her.

your suspicions proved correct.

They may well deserve each other, but if he was that impressionable and weak - then it really wasn't meant to be.

To a certain extent, you were used, as a buffer, as a stop-gap, as a rebound, as a 'soft place to fall'.

 

Harden up hun.

He won't come back - that would just be too crazy.

You need to put on a tough exterior and take control of yourself.

darkmoon Established Member

darkmoon

Posted
Posted (edited)
darkmoon,

 

we would argue about his ex. at the beginning, they hated each other, and everything between me and him was great. then they started being "civil". then they started to have conversations each time they saw each other at a party or so. i would tell him i didnt want him to talk to her, because i didnt want the feelings to come back. pretty much all we would argue about is about me being insecure about his ex!

 

 

he'll probably end up like jimmy saville

cuz he doesn't know how to stop thinking with his penis

i bet you wouldn't want him when he's fifty

plan Christmas presents, you'll have alot more fun imho

cuz plenty people will be glad to feel loved

Edited by darkmoon
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nala.x Member

nala.x

Posted
  • Author
Posted

But would a rebound relationship last 9 months?

 

I think the thing i am most confused about is why he would give her another chance, but not me. When she was 10x more insecure than me (at one point she told him he cant play sport if there was a girl on his team..). Crazy things like that. I just dont get why he would want to try again with someone like that.

 

But maybe he likes that sort of relationship.

 

Planning christmas present ideas is great! I will do that. I have so so much time on my hands because i use to see him every day, now i do absolutely nothing except eat and watch tv all day..I will go crazy if i dont get better.

darkmoon Established Member

darkmoon

Posted
Posted
But would a rebound relationship last 9 months?

 

I think the thing i am most confused about is why he would give her another chance, but not me. When she was 10x more insecure than me (at one point she told him he cant play sport if there was a girl on his team..). Crazy things like that. I just dont get why he would want to try again with someone like that.

 

But maybe he likes that sort of relationship.

 

Planning christmas present ideas is great! I will do that. I have so so much time on my hands because i use to see him every day, now i do absolutely nothing except eat and watch tv all day..I will go crazy if i dont get better.

 

he's unstable - changing his attitude is unstable and illogical :sick:

KatZee Established Member

KatZee

Posted
Posted
But would a rebound relationship last 9 months?

 

I think the thing i am most confused about is why he would give her another chance, but not me. When she was 10x more insecure than me (at one point she told him he cant play sport if there was a girl on his team..). Crazy things like that. I just dont get why he would want to try again with someone like that.

 

But maybe he likes that sort of relationship.

 

Planning christmas present ideas is great! I will do that. I have so so much time on my hands because i use to see him every day, now i do absolutely nothing except eat and watch tv all day..I will go crazy if i dont get better.

 

My rebound relationship lasted almost THREE YEARS. Rebound relationships absolutely can pass the test of time. But as for substance, that's where you will really see the quality of it. There was no substance between you two.

Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

Posted
Posted

You basically suspected that he was still into his ex and you were right. That's not insecurity, that's intuition ;)

ThatJustHappened Established Member

ThatJustHappened

Posted
Posted
But would a rebound relationship last 9 months?

 

I think the thing i am most confused about is why he would give her another chance, but not me. When she was 10x more insecure than me (at one point she told him he cant play sport if there was a girl on his team..). Crazy things like that. I just dont get why he would want to try again with someone like that.

 

But maybe he likes that sort of relationship.

 

Planning christmas present ideas is great! I will do that. I have so so much time on my hands because i use to see him every day, now i do absolutely nothing except eat and watch tv all day..I will go crazy if i dont get better.

 

Yes, a rebound could last for 9 months. 9 months is not a very long time.

 

Stop comparing yourself to her. You will never understand what went on in their relationship, just as she will never understand what went on in yours. Sometimes people just have undeniable chemistry and there's no rhyme or reason to it.

 

Take some time to be sad, and then move on.

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