Sympathetic Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 Hello everyone. My g/f of 5 years and I broke up last week. At the time, I thought it was a mutual thing. We both realized things weren't working between us, even though we love each other. In short, her insecurities and jealousy were way to deep (stemming from her childhood) for us to ever be stable, and I felt like I was always walking on egg shells. I tried many times to help her, I stayed with her a lot longer than I thought I should. But, after a jealous incident a month ago, I finally made the decision to let her go, and she agreed that it was time to go. Well, she has not been taking it as well as I had expected or hoped based on what she had said before we actually parted ways. The past few days, she's been calling constantly begging me to take her back, and every time, I've told her that I can't because all the problems we had are still there, and there's still so many deep wounds on both our parts from the past 4 years. Each time I did that, that just seemed to hurt more. Today, she went and talked to a therapist. She came to me somewhat happy to tell me this. I was hoping she would say that this was helping her get over the pain of our breaking up, but instead, she asked if it would make me change my mind and take her back. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do to tell her no, not now. I told her it's still too soon, that the wounds are still too fresh, and that one session is not going change her deep-seated issues. She left so hurt and angry, and now I feel like sh--. The truth is that I really don't want to get back with her, at least not now or for the foreseeable future (at least 6 months.) I can't even promise that I'll want to get back together then. I feel the need for time and space, and maybe to even see other people. I feel so badly for her, but I need to do what's right for me. Am I selfish? Am I wrong for feeling this way? How should I handle this?
Pained Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 I think you did the right thing. I was in her position at one point in my life. The best thing you can do for her is make it clear, in no uncertain terms, that it's over, even if you think you may someday want her back. If there's still a thread of hope, she'll cling to it and never move on. But if you decide to do this, stay true to what you want, and don't come back to her in a couple of weeks if and when you start missing her. Give both her and yourself time to grow. Good luck.
Felicity Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 I think you're my ex!!! is it you???? hahahaha i'm sorry is cause that's exactly what i'm going thru... my ex told me the exact thing.. the only difference is that I was not psycho like your ex and I'm not begging him to come back I did call him but just to hear his voice. Anyways my ex told me what you told her.. Not now, maybe in a few months whatever!!!. I understood, your ex is crazy.. doesn't she have dignity??? anyways I think you are doing good.. 5 years is too mucho and I think that you don't love her anymore. that's why you are asking her for time (6 months??? ) So its better that you broke up with her, its not cool to be with someone you don't love anymore. Life goes on... now it's hard for her but it will pass... Felicity You guys are evil!!!
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