Author bluefairy812 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 (edited) thanks again geegirl and ponette. i need to read your posts over and over and over again. i rather come here and read the hurtful truth than to pick up his call and be set back for the millionth time. especially since he knows about my NC, knows about the guy i'm dating, and confirmed a million times this is what he wanted... plus as mentioned above, doesn't see us together. interestingly enough, surprise surprise, he hasn't tried to contact me again. Edited October 11, 2012 by bluefairy812
Calico Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Playing with us here in the sandbox for the dumped kids isn't the worst you can do anyway! 3
Author bluefairy812 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 interesting. he called again and left a voicemail wanting to say "hi" and to ask me for a favor for a project he is working on. i cannot believe he would go through a great length like this just to get the job done, like really? i would go to my worst enemy to ask for a favor before i reach my ex. why the F*ck does he need my help? I TOLD HIM I WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE FOR HIM BUT NOT LIKE THIS.... AFTER I AM HEALED AND OVER HIM... just shows me how much i am in the friendzone. LOLLLLLL. what a joke.... NC ALL THE WAY BECAUSE 0.000000000001% OF THE TIME THEY ACTUALLY CALL YOU FOR SOMETHING THAT MATTERS. 1
ponette Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 you know what gets me laughing? how do you think you can get a relationship back without communication and without being friends? a friendship is the foundation long-lasting relationships are built upon. what exactly did he want for this project? i'm trying to gauge the bs factor here. 1
Author bluefairy812 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 Yes I agree don't ruin the progress you've made with NC. Also, I believe that an important part of NC is NOT telling your ex that's what you are doing. Because then they will know you're using a technique, wouldn't that undermine the attempt? Does anyone know if that's true? for the first 4 weeks i didn't tell him and then i was being contacted asking what was going on since he was blind sided. we spoke bc i had to go and get my last things at our apt he confirmed this is what he wanted and all that hurtful crap. then i told him to please leave me alone bc i needed to heal. i told him not to contact me bc every time he did, all he did was give me hope. i wanted to make him understand this, since he still "cared" about me and "loved" me but not enough to be with me... and now, 4 weeks later, here we are again with the contact.
NoMoreJerks Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 "i love you but..it's not going to work, we are not right for each other"/"it's not meant to be"/"just because you love a person doesn't make them the right person for you" the above is what he told you a few weeks ago. And now he's with another girl. What's changed in a span of a few weeks? He is disrespecting your need to heal. You never had the choice but to accept what he said. Now he thinks he can breeze in and out whenever he feels he can pick up his rag doll? Unless he has something of substance, and when someone wants you bad, they'll do what it takes to get the message to you. Not leaving a message is throwing bait. You have control. Don't give your power away. this. This.
Author bluefairy812 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 (edited) i am starting to feel that no matter what i do, he's always going to find a way to contact me. like seriously it was completely unnecessary to call me to ask if i could help him with a favor for a project. he could have easily texted me with that f*cking crap and he didn't. it's like he wanted to hear my voice just to make sure we are "cool" or something... such BULLSH*T! Edited October 11, 2012 by bluefairy812
Simon Phoenix Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Yes I agree don't ruin the progress you've made with NC. Also, I believe that an important part of NC is NOT telling your ex that's what you are doing. Because then they will know you're using a technique, wouldn't that undermine the attempt? Does anyone know if that's true? Yeah, I agree that you shouldn't tell them. I think making it look like a natural course of action is much better. If you tell them, it kind of defeats the purpose IMO. Of course, there are times where it might be necessary -- if they are harrassing you for instance.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 i am starting to feel that no matter what i do, he's always going to find a way to contact me. like seriously it was completely unnecessary to call me to ask if i could help him with a favor for a project. he could have easily texted me with that f*cking crap and he didn't. it's like he wanted to hear my voice just to make sure we are "cool" or something... such BULLSH*T! Block his number.
Author bluefairy812 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 i'm considering it at this point, really. ive never had to do that before with anyone else.
ponette Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 why the heck would he NEED to call YOU for his work project?! unless you've got specialty knowledge in his project area, I SMELL BULLSH*T.somebody's fishing.
Author bluefairy812 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 Apparently he wants to use one of my close contacts but wanted to ask me first. LOL. This is the best Joke I have heard this year.
ponette Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 ...and that doesn't reek of horsesh.it to you?! COME ON!!! i realize i'm a lot older than most of you...but...seriously.. fishing expedition.
Author bluefairy812 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 (edited) I know I won't get my answer from you guys since you can't be in his head and thoughts, but why? Just why? So he can make sure we r cool and dandy? Bc all this has done is mess with my head, it's so f*cking obvious not to call your ex of 3 months. Do exes magically turn stupid after breakups? It's like wheel of fortune! Never know what your going to get from them! Edited October 11, 2012 by bluefairy812
ThatJustHappened Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 I know I won't get my answer from you guys since you can't be in his head and thoughts, but why? Just why? So he can make sure we r cool and dandy? Bc all this has done is mess with my head, it's so f*cking obvious not to call your ex of 3 months. Do exes magically turn stupid after breakups? It's like wheel of fortune! Never know what your going to get from them! :laugh: Thank you! I needed a laugh tonight! I might steal that line. 1
LostOne1 Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 I know I won't get my answer from you guys since you can't be in his head and thoughts, but why? Just why? So he can make sure we r cool and dandy? Bc all this has done is mess with my head, it's so f*cking obvious not to call your ex of 3 months. Do exes magically turn stupid after breakups? It's like wheel of fortune! Never know what your going to get from them! they want what they can't have.... just like we wanted our ex's earlier.. because we couldn't have them anymore it was a challenge. I think it's the same for your ex.. it's a challenge to get something he doesn't have anymore....Eventually he WILL stop and some point...
ponette Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 his reason doesn't even make sense. WHY would he need to ASK YOUR PERMISSION for anything, especially that? COME ON. 1
JustALittleBit Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 I like to fantasise where my ex sends me something stupid and I tell him to f right off and quit trying to gauge my reaction to make himself feel better about being a d!ck. I probably wouldn't do that though. Ok so reasons they go fishing: 1. If there has been some level of dishonesty involved, I think they like to see if you guys are still cool to feel better about their *******ry. That way they don't have to address their actions and the fact that they have genuinely hurt someone. 2. Wanting to make sure you're still around... partially for an ego boost, maybe fear of having things not work out with new person 3. Wanting a back up plan, maybe not being entirely sure with their decision (only 99% sure) so wanting to keep lines of communciation open... (of course, would you want to be with someone who thinks MAYBE 1% there MIGHT be a chance, and doesn't want you 100%?) 4. If you have super mental issues or something tragic has happened then MAYBE they are legitimate in making sure you're ok ... there are a few more reasons. But at the core of it I believe is selfishness and a lack of respect for the person.
Author bluefairy812 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 LOL. I like that I can make a joke out of this. Hope this is Progress! I really can't deal with this outrageous waste of my time request calling me bc he needs a favor/need to make sure your ok with me using your contact for my project
ponette Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 that EXCUSE is just that...an EXCUSE and it is TOTALLY RIDICULOUS.
Author bluefairy812 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 his reason doesn't even make sense. WHY would he need to ASK YOUR PERMISSION for anything, especially that? COME ON. I completely agree which is why I want to say I'm outraged but almost feel numb and don't give a rats ass. Sorry I am being vulgar tonight!
NoMoreJerks Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Apparently he wants to use one of my close contacts but wanted to ask me first. LOL. This is the best Joke I have heard this year. I can smell his bull**** all the way from Canada... 1
ponette Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 listen..it's ok to be upset, but remember: communication opens the door. the guy is trying to get the door open, ok? for what? nobody can be sure at this point..but it isn't for what he claims it is. is it nefarious? doubtful. but take it from me..if they're still talking...it ain't done...and as far as men go, if they can get you talking, they think they can get back in your pants. how's THAT for vulgar?! true tho', and i'm over 30.
NoMoreJerks Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 listen..it's ok to be upset, but remember: communication opens the door. the guy is trying to get the door open, ok? for what? nobody can be sure at this point..but it isn't for what he claims it is. is it nefarious? doubtful. but take it from me..if they're still talking...it ain't done...and as far as men go, if they can get you talking, they think they can get back in your pants. how's THAT for vulgar?! true tho', and i'm over 30. I mean, surely, if my ex wanted to get back with me, he could do better than come up with some bull**** excuse to contact me...? Why not just say it outright? Right - because they don't WANT to get back with you. They want to test the waters and see if you are still up for being contacted / hanging out with them. They just want to get into your pants without having to be in a relationship with you. My ex tried this. Funny how, 2 minutes after telling me he loved me as a friend and not as a lover, he asked, what's wrong with FWB? But at least my ex was being explicit and honest about his intentions, if only after playing around with me for 4 months. I give him that.
NateC Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 This is one of those times the "delete" button comes in handy. If your phone supports blocking numbers do that too so you never have to worry about getting a text/call from him again. He deserves absolutely no contact!
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