Cynikal Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 (edited) Here's the scenario. My ex broke up with me a couple days before going on a work related trip. After a couple days, she states she loves me and that this is only temporary. That she feels like lately she has been making decisions for me more than herself, that she wants to find herself again. And that may be true since she didnt get much time between this and her last relationship. Also that she doesnt feel like there is a possibility of us not being together again. And that she wants some time apart to make up for the heartbreak that she caused me. (She lied to me about a scenario a couple months ago, and I have been curious about everything since.) She is in on the trip now, and wont be able to contact me for two weeks... Two days before she says she still loves me and that it is only a matter of time until we will have this together. And that she appreciates tremendously the patience I have had while she is being selfish. That I did nothing wrong and she doesnt deserve me. I went kinda neutral on her and said we need to do what you feel is best. And what will happen will happen, and I have thought about us. Then this morning, the day before she can't contact me, she sends a message basically saying she is leaving in the morning and prolly wont be able to have contact with her for a couple weeks. Try not to forget about me, and that she is missing me. At that exact moment she post on her facebook, "And I can't wait for you... to live this life forever." Can anyone offer an explanation for this? Edited October 10, 2012 by Cynikal
moveONorStay Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 She is definitely playing games with you here. I would tell her not to contact you and that you need time for yourself to decide what you want. Right now she is being completely selfish and everything is on her terms...that is not good enough. Move on
Author Cynikal Posted October 10, 2012 Author Posted October 10, 2012 (edited) She is definitely playing games with you here. I would tell her not to contact you and that you need time for yourself to decide what you want. Right now she is being completely selfish and everything is on her terms...that is not good enough. Move on So you dont think there is any possibility that this is the truth and she does just need some time? Edit: I just noticed that is from a song that she had brough up to be our wedding song. Edited October 10, 2012 by Cynikal
moveONorStay Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 I think that she is testing the water to see if you still have interest. The only way she is coming back is if you move on, drop your interest level and see if she comes back to you. If she begins to truly miss you then she'll be in touch saying so. Don't contact her again for now.
flitzanu Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 So you dont think there is any possibility that this is the truth and she does just need some time? Edit: I just noticed that is from a song that she had brough up to be our wedding song. she might need time...to find a new boyfriend, yeah. "i need to find myself" = "i want to bang other people" 2
NavyAirTraffic Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 she might need time...to find a new boyfriend, yeah. "i need to find myself" = "i want to bang other people" I hate to like this one but it is the F@#KING TRUTH!! Would you ever leave a girl that you wanted to be with for the rest of your life to "find yourself"? NO, that is asinine, an excuse. Cut through the bull$hit and realize this and start letting the truth set it! Don't kid yourself, it is going to hurt. Sometimes I forcefully picture my ex sexually with someone else. It tears into me so bad, I cried the first 5 or so times I did it. Guess what, they are going to sleep with someone else, either today or someday. I don't obsess about it, just do it once in awhile as a recovery tool. It still bothers me today, but I forced myself through the shock dynamic of it. If you lean into the pain a little instead of fighting it, the pain will be dramatically reduced over time. Kind of a shortcut, if there is such a thing.
Frank13 Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 She wants to explore and bang other guys while she is on her trip, and doesn't want you bothering her during this fun time, but wants you hanging on as a backup plan if she doesn't end up with one of these other guys.
flitzanu Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 I hate to like this one but it is the F@#KING TRUTH!! Would you ever leave a girl that you wanted to be with for the rest of your life to "find yourself"? NO, that is asinine, an excuse. Cut through the bull$hit and realize this and start letting the truth set it! Don't kid yourself, it is going to hurt. Sometimes I forcefully picture my ex sexually with someone else. It tears into me so bad, I cried the first 5 or so times I did it. Guess what, they are going to sleep with someone else, either today or someday. I don't obsess about it, just do it once in awhile as a recovery tool. It still bothers me today, but I forced myself through the shock dynamic of it. If you lean into the pain a little instead of fighting it, the pain will be dramatically reduced over time. Kind of a shortcut, if there is such a thing. it's true dude. that was one of the sickest things that ran through my head during my breakup, and since i knew WHO it was she was after. it's tough medicine, but eventually the shock wears thinner and turns into resentment
Recommended Posts