BBB08 Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 Just a quick question. Why do girls/guys. Break up and then randomlly want to find out what your up to. Me and my GF, went on a break, we said to each other that we'd get backtogether. After the break period ended i tried putting my efforts in getting back with her. She was mean and acted like I was some random guy. So after a while i said. AHH WELLL SCREW IT!! ( I have confidence in my self) and stopped talking to her. We never talked for about a month and im thinking its over, she was just letting me down easy buy saying lets go on a break so she can end it slowly. Well the other day she contacts me and out of the Blue says "soo is there anything new with you" Why do people care when its over. If she wanted to end it and i didnt chase her or beg her. Why does she want to contact me???
HoldOn Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 Maybe she wanted to see if she could still control your feelings. And obviously it worked because you're wound up about it.
Taken_Angel Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 Doesn't sound like you're doing a survey sounds more like you are trying to find out why she contacted you. My opinion is probably because she cares about you as a person and maybe wanted to hear from you every now and then and wanted to see how you were doing in your life and wanted to know if you'd moved on. Or maybe she was thinking about you and since she didn't hear from you in awhile maybe she wanted to fish around and see if you were still interested in her or maybe she called hoping you'd ask her back because she needed a self esteem boost. There really are too many "maybes" to know for sure, only she can know so if you really want to know the only person who can answer this for you is your ex.
quankanne Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 it's curiousity: how is the other person coping now that you're not in their life anymore -- is he or she happier without you? If so, why? it could also be a genuine sense of worry mixed with compulsiveness -- when you've invested a lot of emotion in a relationship, it's kind of hard to just turn it off when it ends. I know that when I was in college, I used to almost obsessively read the Corpus Christi newspaper, because I was convinced that the guy I thought was Mr. Right was going to end up dead because I wasn't there to protect him from himself!
simplybrill Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 I dunno man...my ex does the same thing. He doesnt even have the decency to call me, he just text messages my phone. How stupid is that. Ill be doing ok and then BOOM like clockwork every month, (not at the same time) he'll message me. Its not fair because the ex is not letting you have your closure, OR move on, because they're wiggling their way back into your mind with stupid calls/messages. If anything, I would be angry, and the next time he does it, Im just going to CALL him, and say "HEY, I dunno what you're trying to do, but stop it!"
babygurl3225 Posted July 29, 2004 Posted July 29, 2004 My ex-boyfriend does that to me all of the time ... don't let your feelings show towards her because then she'll think she's won this little game she's trying to play with you. Im not sure why people do that but i wish i knew the answer...
unclejo23 Posted August 20, 2004 Posted August 20, 2004 my ex g/f is doing that as well.... safety net... keeping a string attached... genuine concern.... guilt for leaving... Guess you'd have to really know the person sending the message(s) to narrow it down?
jonyx18 Posted August 21, 2004 Posted August 21, 2004 my ex does that to me every month he chooses every :19: to give me a call and to tell me how sad he is YET IF HE IS SO SAD WHY IS HE STILL AWAY FROM ME AND WITH THE TRICK HE LEFT ME FOR MY EX CHEATED AND BEAT ME <<< BUT I STILL LOVE HIM PRETTY DUMB RIGHT>> I STILL MISS HIM WE HAVE BEEN BROKEN UP FOR 6 MONTH OFFICIALLY STOPPED SEEING EACH OTHER 3 MONTH AGO WE WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR 3 YRS HE'S CONSTANTLY TELLING ME HE REGRETS LEAVING IM INDIFFERENT TO HIM EVEN THOUGH I MISS HIM LIKE CRAZY I SPOKE TO HIM 2 DAYS AGO AND I TOLD HIM THE BAD NEWS OF WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO ME LAST WEEK <<< I WAS RAPPED>>> HE STARTED CRYING WITH ME AND TOLD ME THAT HIS PLANS WERE TO COME BACK TO ME IN A COUPLE OF YEARS OF COURSE I TOLD HIM BECAUSE HE NEW THAT I WOULDN'T SLEEP WITH ANY ONE ELSE AND THAT HE COULD PIPE ALL THE HOES HE WANTED TO UNTIL HE DECIDED TO SETTLE DOWN IT SEEMS LIKE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MONTH HE IS DOING MUCH BETTER THAN ME I GUESS HE STILL CARES ABOUT ME??? THEN WHY DID HE CHOOSE TO LEAVE I DIDN'T KICK HIM OUT AND CONSTANTLY CHEAT THIS MIGHT SOUND STUPID BUT I DONT WANNA KNOW HE IS HAPPY IM NOT HAPPY IM MISSERABLE SO WHY SHOULD HE BE HAPPY I WAS THE GOOD ONE IN THE RELATIONSHIP NEVER LIED CHEATED AND PLEASED HIM IN WHATEVER HE WANTED SO WHY HAS HE BEEN ABLE TO MOVE ON
innanjing Posted August 22, 2004 Posted August 22, 2004 There are probably many reasons why guys/girls end a realtionship with their lover and then at times bring themselves back into the ex's life. It is possible that they have found out that their ex is the real deal, contrary to their thoughts or beliefs at the time that they ended the relationship. They may be experiencing the same emotions that you are going through, beleiving that it is totally over, but every once in a while missing you, and hence making contact. It is also possible that, over time, they have started to think of not just the bad or negative things in the relationship, but have started to look at the whole picture of the relationship and now have made themselves aware that the good times were maybe a lot better than the bad times, etc, etc. The old saying, if you have love, and it goes, let it go, if it is true love it will return, has a lot of meaning i have found. Remember, your lover broke up with you, you did not do that. So you then went through a period of remorse, rejection, hurt, anxiety, and sadness, wondering how could this happen? My suggestion is to rescind from giving in to the contact sessions, act like you are busy, have a new life, and be nice but to the point. Maybe if this person still loves you and cares for you and truly wants to be with you again, then they will realize that they have to fight and work hard to get you back, that you are not there just waiting diligently for them to give you the ok to continue the relationship with them. Then decide what is best for you at this point in time, and do not rush into anything with the ex if that is what is going on here. Play cool, be cautious, and make sure that the ex is sincere, not just playing a game cause they are lonely or whatever. Just some views that i have gathered since my girlfriend broke off with me, only to still keep contact the odd time. I remember the hurt, believe me, and for her to just say hey, all is cool, lets do it again is not going to work. Hope I have provided some insight here. Good luck.
a2nxtc28 Posted August 22, 2004 Posted August 22, 2004 My ex still doing the same thing to me,it's stupid.I think he doesnt want me to get over him.You know why their calling?Coz their selfish,they dont want you to move on..they want to see if ur still gonna be ther incase they want u back.
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