irc333 Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 I'm starting to see this as probably the most common excuse that people use to blow others off when attempting to get together. People that use the term "crazy" to describe their life is a synonym to "busy", because busy has been overplayed, and sounds bad when they use that word. So the replacement word has been "crazy" "Oh, man, sorry I didn't return you call last week, but things have been CRAZY" last week, we'll get together later this week though!" They also use the word "things", what "things" that have kept things "crazy" we have no clue. They tend to stay in touch, but only briefly. I've been staying in touch with this one woman I met online, goes to college within minutes from where I live. Full time student, doesn't work...just college...just moved to the area, but somehow managed to get an active social life all of a sudden. Yet, she does write lengthy responses that don't seem like she's blowing me off, but actually engages with me about my life. The whole "Sorry, I didn't write lately, things have been crazy busy this week!" Really sick of that excuse, esp when they put on a phony smile, and over use "LOL" in their writings. 2
oaks Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 They also use the word "things", what "things" that have kept things "crazy" we have no clue. It's not accidental that clues aren't forthcoming, either. What they mean is "I'm doing things that don't involve you, and don't ask me what they are because they don't involve you." 1
Emilia Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 The whole "Sorry, I didn't write lately, things have been crazy busy this week!" Really sick of that excuse, esp when they put on a phony smile, and over use "LOL" in their writings. They think you would take this social cue: they are not interested. It's just a polite way of brushing you off. 1
Author irc333 Posted October 10, 2012 Author Posted October 10, 2012 They think you would take this social cue: they are not interested. It's just a polite way of brushing you off. For internet dating purposes, I'd rather be told, honestly upfront, that they aren't interested. Funny, another woman pulled this crap with me too,... she always came to my area routinely for work, and I mentioned something about getting together for lunch when she was in town. She whole heartedly agreed. Our "getting to know each other banter" went back and forth a few more times. Then I asked her, "So, when you're in town again.....how about we grab lunch?" And she gave a short, "I've been busy lately, so I'll let you know" And I said, jokingly, "Ah, the ol' "don't call us, we'll call you" line, I get it! LOL" She said, "Listen, if I wasn't interested you, I would've told you I wasn't interested." And I was like "Okay, fine." And we continued to banter back and forth, email pen pals, for about a week. Then I mentioned getting together again. She said, "still kind of busy, I'll have to let you know" And I said, "Well, funny, you SAY if you were NOT interested in me, you'd let me know.....but...I tend to be more of a 'actions speak louder than words' kind of guy....by you simply having up to this point, STILL not able to confirm a meet....you simply show that you're not interested in your actions.....so no need to actually TELL me you're not interested." I called her on her BS, but funny how she pretty much bold faced lied and told me "If I wasn't interested, you would've already known in the first email" People lie pretty much, they can't be honest.
GirlontheLam Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 I am with you! I don't get why these people keep responding. It is totally useless. I've got a few like that right now. I went out with someone a few weeks ago. It went well. We chatted about some other stuff we could do together. I pinged him to invite him to some stuff, and no response. I ran into him the other day. We chatted for a while. "It's been crazy, we should meet up!" I said sure, let me know when..... Silence. But he comments on my facebook posts. OK?!?! I guess when it is no longer "crazy" or he prioritizes getting to know me we'll meet up. Same story with another guy I met a couple weeks ago. He responds to texts in 2 minutes, unless they are regarding scheduling.
MrCastle Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 It happens. I would rather that (polite rejections) than people coming outright and saying "I'm not interested in you". I know some people think they'd prefer it in theory, but I think that's just their frustration talking. No one wants to hear that. Just accept their soft rejection and move on. You obviously aren't worth their time and you aren't on their mind, so don't even think about them, put them out of your mind.
xdahliax Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 A lot of people say they're busy because they're too busy to have a relationship. Certain times of the year, I'm lucky if I can completely relax for one evening every few weeks. Usually it's also unplanned, so when people ask me out I often refuse because I'm afraid that something will come up and that I'd have to cancel either way. That being said, there's no sense in trying online dating if you're always too busy to plan things.
Author irc333 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 I went out with someone a few weeks ago. It went well. We chatted about some other stuff we could do together. I pinged him to invite him to some stuff, and no response. I ran into him the other day. We chatted for a while. "It's been crazy, we should meet up!" EXACTLY...I have a male friend that's having to deal with women like this ALL the time. He meets them at social gatherings...and THEY even make the plans to get together. "Hey, there's a concert in the park this weekend, wanna come?" Him: "Sure!" Time comes around for the concert, she doesn't return his calls or anything. He sees her at a party at a friends house a couple of weeks later. Her: "OH, I'm SO sorry that I didn't call you, things had been so CRAZY these past couple of weeks, we GOTTA get together! You got plans this weekend?" Wash - Rinse- Repeat
Author irc333 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 Usually it's also unplanned, so when people ask me out I often refuse because I'm afraid that something will come up and that I'd have to cancel either way. --xdahliax-- Hm, so what could possibly come up that you'd have to cancel?
Art_Critic Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 I'm sorry I'm just now replying to this thread.. things have been crazy this week. 4
Anela Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 I'm bad when it comes to responding to *anyone*. I've been avoiding mail and such, because I'm not in the best of moods - so when I'm literally feeling a little crazy, be grateful that I'm not responding. Some people I feel awkward around, some I just feel shyness with, others are easy to talk to, but not when I'm in a mood. I can be outgoing one night, and very shy the next.
xdahliax Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 --xdahliax-- Hm, so what could possibly come up that you'd have to cancel? Between work, studies, and other obligations? Lots of things could happen. I often don't even have time to be sick.
Author irc333 Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 Between work, studies, and other obligations? Lots of things could happen. I often don't even have time to be sick. Oh , I was figuring if you had a fun event that sounded more favorable than the ones your friends asked you to. I know some people that debate 2 fun events, and they can't make up their minds. lol
xdahliax Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Oh , I was figuring if you had a fun event that sounded more favorable than the ones your friends asked you to. I know some people that debate 2 fun events, and they can't make up their minds. lol No, I'm a pretty loyal person. Which is why I have a hard time making plans, I'm always afraid of disappointing. Btw, love your pic, Heisenberg.
oaks Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 For internet dating purposes, I'd rather be told, honestly upfront, that they aren't interested. People lie pretty much, they can't be honest. Sometimes I try to find the middle ground in which nobody is telling a lie. In this scenario it's here: She isn't uninterested. She's just not very interested, especially when compared with the other guys who are paying her attention. If her conversations and/or first dates with those guys all fizzle she'll find that things are less crazy and she'll have time to talk and even meet you. She doesn't reject you upfront because you're not that bad, but she doesn't engage with you because she has more attractive options. Summary: She's not uninterested but you're on the back burner as a backup plan. (I recognise that I've done this with women I've communicated with on dating sites, and I'm pretty sure I've had it happen to me, so it works for both sexes.)
runner Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 it could also mean that they really are busy. who'd a thought eh ? bottom line, if your needs aren't being met, find someone who will help you with that, and not worry about the one who can't.
oaks Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 it could also mean that they really are busy. who'd a thought eh ? I disagree. If someone really fancies you, and you're at the top of the list (or maybe there's no list) then they'll find time to communicate, or have a better excuse than just "things were crazy". 1
NoMoreJerks Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 (edited) OP, my ex pulled the "things are crazy" to avoid talking with me. I reciprocated the treatment. For a few days, he barely sent me a text, asking me once how my afternoon was going. I answered his question and asked him about his, and over the next few days, didn't message him unless he messaged me, and even so, I pulled the same **** on him that he did on me: told him things were hectic (they weren't), implying that this is why I supposedly didn't mssg him. He got the clue. Things are NEVER too hectic to call/text someone you care about and have invested interest/feelings in.. NEVER. No such thing as that. Even if you are the busiest surgeon in town, you will still have the time to text or call, and even meet in person. Edited October 11, 2012 by NoMoreJerks 1
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