buzzie2 Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 A friend of mine had a huge fight with her boyfriend, when she found out that he was seeing someone else while he was with her. All of her friends have told her that she now has all the power in the relationship; because before when he wasn't so nice to her he had the power. So if she holds the power now, what excactly does that mean?
todreaminblue Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 A friend of mine had a huge fight with her boyfriend, when she found out that he was seeing someone else while he was with her. All of her friends have told her that she now has all the power in the relationship; because before when he wasn't so nice to her he had the power. So if she holds the power now, what excactly does that mean? She has the power to walk away and not look back.....deb
TaraMaiden Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 A friend of mine had a huge fight with her boyfriend, when she found out that he was seeing someone else while he was with her. All of her friends have told her that she now has all the power in the relationship; because before when he wasn't so nice to her he had the power. So if she holds the power now, what excactly does that mean? It's just crap-speak... there is no 'power' game here, it's just mind-phukking. In my opinion, a person gets their 'power' back when they call a halt to submitting themselves to someone else's abusive behaviour. Verbal bullying, mental, physical or psaychological abuse. When a person finally calls a halt and states - "Enough is enough - I'm not putting up with this abuse for one more day - " That's getting your power back. Tell her to cut him loose, dump him and move on. A cheater can't be trusted, so why hang on to them? What for? So they can - and will - do it again? Huh. stoopid mind games. 1
Emilia Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 A friend of mine had a huge fight with her boyfriend, when she found out that he was seeing someone else while he was with her. All of her friends have told her that she now has all the power in the relationship; because before when he wasn't so nice to her he had the power. So if she holds the power now, what excactly does that mean? Your friends are not very bright. He cheated on her and she got upset. If she stays with him, he knows he can walk over her no matter how much she screams. I hope she dumps him. I think your friends are saying whoever shouts the loudest have power over the other person but it's not how it works. Whoever does what the hell they like and get away with it has the power in the relationship.
EasyHeart Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 Any relationship that is about power is doomed to failure.
LittlePrince Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 Any relationship that is about power is doomed to failure. All human relationships are about power.
carhill Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 So if she holds the power now, what excactly does that mean? If she cares the least, she has the most power. The 'power' is in the unilateral expression of one's id without regard to/of another. In this example, if she could identify that she has no relevant feelings regarding the man in question and could analyze the dynamic and act in a manner which best serves her interests without regard to the man's health, well-being or safety, she'd have the power absolutely. So, how much power (it's a sliding scale) do you think she has?
El Brujo Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 Power in this context means the ability to live independently, be a serial rejecter, and not have any regrets. Hey wait a minute, I do all 3 of those things already... I probably have more power than a Formula One race car!
veggirl Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 He cheated on her and she took him back. HE has the power because she is a doormat and will put up with the ultimate form of disrespect, which he now knows. 1
TaraMaiden Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 If she believes she holds the power - she'd better think again....
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 Any relationship that is about power is doomed to failure. I tend to think the power shifts back and forth in relationships. Sometimes you got it and sometimes you don't. As long as the partner in "power" at whatever moment doesn't exploit it, it's not the worst thing in the world. It can create some excitment and keep each person working at the relationship. Especially if the power isn't one sided, as it shouldn't be. It's when someone feels too comfortable that things are bad if you ask me. Although, that might not be true for couples that have been together 15+ years. Although I suspect that even in those situations, there are still power struggles mixed with more of a level of comfortableness.
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