sendme Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 okay... so I'm casually dating this guy... two hours ago I ask what he's doing tonight, he says nothing do you want to get together, I said what about the baseball game he says I'm thinking of taking the night off because I have another one tomorrow... I say okay, I'm going to take a shower and then I'll be over, and he says, no I'll come to your place two hours go by and I don't hear from him, so I send him a text that says "did you fall asleep? did you stand me up?" another half hour goes by and he says "No I just finished the baseball game. can I come over?" well now I'm put out... I mean really he couldn't just tell me he went to the game? I feel like it was very inconsiderate, but I'm bad at casually dating... so what would you do... let him come over... or say goodnight?
kaylan Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 Do you really want to be a late night booty call? 1
CarrieT Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 I feel like it was very inconsiderate, but I'm bad at casually dating... so what would you do... let him come over... or say goodnight? It was very inconsiderate. I wouldn't even bother with goodnight... Definitely don't let him come over! 3
Author sendme Posted October 10, 2012 Author Posted October 10, 2012 crap... is that what it is? really?
CarrieT Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 crap... is that what it is? really? Oh yes.... Late night calls = booty calls. 2
Author sendme Posted October 10, 2012 Author Posted October 10, 2012 uggghhh.... how is it that guys are so creepy.... I like this guy, we've fooled around, but I actually thought he wanted to hang out... but you're right its totally a booty call... dating sucks... 1
SmileFace Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 How do you casually date? And what exactly do you think "hanging out" is most of the time?
CarrieT Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 we've fooled around You have it up too early and now he probably sees you as a FWB/NSA chick. 1
MrCastle Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 Yeah it was probably a booty call. By the way, I think you're cute; if that helps
CptObvious Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 Yeah it was probably a booty call. By the way, I think you're cute; if that helps Yeah she's hot, and she won't be hot forever. OP, you won't get a guy as good looking as him in about 5-10 years, so just let him in. Life goes by too fast, especially for women. 1
Author sendme Posted October 10, 2012 Author Posted October 10, 2012 hahahhaa.... wow! ya'll are sweet and callous at the same time.... I'm not sure what and FWB is? he apologized really sweetly and said he went back and read the messages and realized he totally dropped the ball on communication.... so he's on the way over.... "hanging out" is spending time together... I don't as a general rule hook up or sleep around outside of committed relationship... so hanging out is the phase where you're spending time together deciding where you want things to go... Casually dating is a new thing for me so that's a little harder, but I guess it's the phase where you're dating around a bit... I mean if he asked another girl out to dinner Friday I wouldn't care... and if some other guy asked me out to dinner I might say yes.... so casually dating... if that makes sense.... Plus... I literally am only a week outside of a terrible horrible relationship so really I just want to hang out and date people for a while just to see what else is out there before I get attached and vulnerable again.... 1
MrCastle Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 I'm not sure what and FWB is?.... A fwb is a friend with benefits. Someone you really like, and sleep with, but no strings attached. The correct term on LS is a MrCastle
yongyong Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 Him: I am just f-cking this for fun Her: I am just casually dating this guy Men don't mind telling other guys all he wants is banging that chick. Women won't admit to her friends she is in just for sex. they will use other terms. 1
curlygirl40 Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 You say you're casually dating....when you're not really dating at all. You're hanging out. That's not dating. And he's not treating you well. He knows if he hangs around you long enough, and acts all sweetly, even if he drops the ball he still gets a chance to come hang out with you and hopefully eventually sleep with you. 4
tigressA Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 What a sweet deal for him. All he has to do is act contrite and give you a fake apology for 'not realizing' he dropped the ball (lol he realized it..) and you're right back to being a late night booty call. OP--it doesn't matter if this guy is your boyfriend or just someone you're casually dating/banging. Thing is, you showed a complete lack of respect for yourself by accepting his lame-ass 'apology' and having him come over. It's easy to make that a habit. Once it's a habit, you will always have guys, not to mention other people in your life, running roughshod over you, and the cycle becomes harder to break. 1
stillafool Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 OP to be honest, you caving in and letting him come over anyway (after the hours for doing anything fun has passed) makes you seem a bit desperate for his attention. You should have said no, call me when we can have a real date.
Author sendme Posted October 10, 2012 Author Posted October 10, 2012 What a sweet deal for him. All he has to do is act contrite and give you a fake apology for 'not realizing' he dropped the ball (lol he realized it..) and you're right back to being a late night booty call. Really... is that really how it is? maybe this is why I always end up dating guys who turn out to be jerks, they were jerks all along and I just didn't see it... I guess I live under the idea that people do sometimes make genuine mistakes without ulterior motives...
veggirl Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 OP you shouldn't have let him come over after he left you hanging for 2 hours. He told you he wasn't going to the baseball game, do you really think he forgot he said that? lol no he did not. At the very least you should have just said "no I'm actually going to head to bed, maybe some other time". (then at least he'd know he can't get away with this crap with you, but now he knows he can)
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 You say you're casually dating....when you're not really dating at all. You're hanging out. That's not dating. And he's not treating you well. He knows if he hangs around you long enough, and acts all sweetly, even if he drops the ball he still gets a chance to come hang out with you and hopefully eventually sleep with you. This exactly. Sendme, don't sleep with guys that you are "hanging out" with. Don't sleep with guys that you are causually seeing. Let them prove themselves to you. It's sometimes difficult but you can avoid being used this way. This is a mistake so many women make! This guy totally disrespected you and said a few sweet little words and you fell for it. Dump this guy, don't see him anymore, he has shown you how he wants to treat you. Demand to be treated better by finding a better man. 2
veggirl Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 oh god you're only a WEEK out of a relationship?! my vote: NO DATING right now! or hanging out! or whatever you are calling it......... 3
truth_seeker Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 He's just using you for a hook up. He has no regard for your feelings. You seem like the type who falls for losers. Change your ways or you're going to be involved with these types of men the rest of your life.
Ninjainpajamas Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 Really... is that really how it is? maybe this is why I always end up dating guys who turn out to be jerks, they were jerks all along and I just didn't see it... I guess I live under the idea that people do sometimes make genuine mistakes without ulterior motives... You're probably the "want to give the benefit of the doubt always" type of women...they always get screwed over because they trust unworthy men and just think that somehow he's really into you...I mean I don't even think you have it in any way figured out, I'm not really sure how women rationalize it honestly, well they don't...what am I thinking! agh! Anyway, unless a guy is putting in effort don't just roll over and be easy just beause you really like the guy, whenever a guy just hits up you to come over It's just for sex...don't believe anything else, a guy who really likes you is going to want to spend mutual and what do you call it...that time you spend with a person to bond, can't think of it...that's the hardest things for guys to do....spend their valuable time and put in thoughtfulness and effort, so If this guy ditched you for his game and he loves baseball...then that could be a really big deal...but he wouldn't tell you that just for extra credit! you've got to be able to see through the BS and lip service, unfortunately It seems you have much to learn at this point.
CptObvious Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 What a sweet deal for him. All he has to do is act contrite and give you a fake apology for 'not realizing' he dropped the ball (lol he realized it..) and you're right back to being a late night booty call. lol who cares? He got a dick, he said sorry, he's good looking etc. OP, just let him in and have fun. Let him hit that prime product, alright? You got nothing to lose.
geegirl Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 Really... is that really how it is? maybe this is why I always end up dating guys who turn out to be jerks, they were jerks all along and I just didn't see it... I guess I live under the idea that people do sometimes make genuine mistakes without ulterior motives... Just as you didn't see this jerk move? Most guys will lay on the sweetness till they get a taste of what they want. And if I remember correctly, you are still struggling deeply with your break-up. This is not the time to be dating or involving men in your life. It's time to focus on you and completely healing. You're picker is broken and you are most likely looking for a man to fill a void. That in itself will blind you from seeing what you need to see. 3
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