sendme Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 So I have a sticky situation... my relationship has been disintegrating for the past two months.... and now we're NC again... 9 days, I'm doing everything I can to not break down... and I 've realized one of my mistakes is that in retrospect he really was horrible he cheated and cheated and cheated on me, and to think about that still hurts so much... that I simply don't think about it... so when I do think of him I find myself thinking of the good, not necessarily because the good outweighs the bad but because the good doesn't hurt as much as the bad.... So how do you do it, how do you remember the awful things your ex did to you without reliving it in a horribly painful way?
Grow Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 When you can't help thinking about him, try to focus on the bad things. For some reason, especially when we are the "dumpee", we tend to look back to our broken relationship through rose tinted glasses. Which is unrealistic and causes more pain. Try to focus on the bad things! Like when it crosses your mind "He was so cute/nice/sexy when he did abc" counter it with something along the line of "He was quite rude/unsexy/selfish etc. when he did xyz". That puts things into a far more realistic perspective.
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