dpc1192 Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Okay so I was dating a girl who I loved and she loved me for about 10 months. We're in college and this year we both live very far from campus which is stressful, and with class, friends, and everything it made it hard to make time for one another.. We fought alot, generally when we were drunk, and generally over things like her not making time for me/ sometimes sneaking out to be with her friends. But I didn't care if she hung out with them, I just wanted her to communicate what she was up to. Now after the last fight, (her making me wait for hours for her, and not going out with my friends as a result), we got into an argument. We've gotten into alot of fights honestly, generally they pass quickly because she always has loved me enough to not care and understand. She understands me and still loves me. A big group of my friends and hers went out the other night and I wasn't giving her any attention. She later on freaked out on me, telling me how mean i was to her, telling me how i never loved her, and all this. The whole time she was staring at me waiting for me to give her attention and freaked when I didn't. She obviously wants to be with me . I tell her the next day I guess you were just drunk last night and she said "Maybe, I guess" she's so unsure of what she wants. A day or so later she told me how she doesn't want to hear about me hooking up with other girls blah blah. That was last Weds., the next day she texted me back immediately and was all cute and sweet. We had been texting till Saturday, not much just a little bit. She kept saying how she just doesn't know. Well today she texts me after me telling her i'll let her be let me know when you want to talk a few days ago.. She says " I don't know if talking is a good idea, I feel like our problems may be irreparable" I respond telling her " I don't think that's true, all I would want would to take things day to day and be simple and have no expectations." then "All i want is a chance for you to hear my thoughts because I have done alot of reflecting and realization on what I want in life" She then responds immediately "Okey I can hear your thoughts" and then I don't respond so later on she says " Lets talk soon then " later on I text her back and she texts me immediately, like she's ready to talk. So what do I say when we talk? I want her back, I want her to know things will be easy and comfortable and I won't have expectations. I know we needed a break and it was good for us to think it over, but I know I'm still on her mind. ADVICE PLEASE VERY IMPORTANT TO ME ! THANKS FOR READING
Author dpc1192 Posted October 10, 2012 Author Posted October 10, 2012 why would she act like she still cared? what do i do to show her I understand she needs her time and i need mine and i got lost and crazy because we had been spending too much time together?? we needed a break and she broke up.. i saw it coming, but now i know she's the one and i want things to work. does it sound like she does?
Calico Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 why would she act like she still cared? If you have been with someone for a while, you don't just stop caring for the person "only" because you are no longer "in love" with them or don't want to be in a relationship with them. This is especially true for women (us guys tend to be "done" with our partners faster, if we are the dumper). Based on what you wrote, I didn't get the vibe that this was a relationship that you really enjoyed. Distance, waiting around a lot, getting stood up frequently, plenty of arguing and fighting, feeling unappreciated often. Pride aside, why do you want to continue this relationship? Why not look for a girl who respects you and your time a little bit more and with whom a relationship might feel more natural?
Chi townD Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 Well, first things first, if she doesn't want to get back together, then you're beating dead horse. There's really no point on talking to her. So, I think that you have to figure that out. Or else, your just wasting your time.
Bahndrvr Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 How long was the break? I guess I didn't see that in there so I'm curious. I'm on a break with my girl now, we're a bit older than you and ours is alot more involved, however when we are discussing break, I'm thinking months, not days or weeks. In my head 2 months is the earliest this would be over, I think in her head, New Years seems about right from what I"m getting. So how long was it. And if you changed and want her back, being respectful of her when she is around should be natural, not something you have to learn, just one point i picked up on in your story.
chrisusarmy2005 Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 I feel the same way, my ex and I were together for 4 yrs. I don't really believe the " I fell out of love" thing but sometimes thats how it is. How can you just let someone go after 4 yrs. Its not an easy thing and I deal with this everyday asking what did I do wrong or what happened, what can I do to fix it. Shes now dating a 45 yr old and its a little hard to deal with.
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