HeartOnSleeve Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I'm starting to get anxious as my boyfriend of 6 months moves across the country for work. I've known since we met but haven't really "worried" or thought about it. it's like it hasn't processed yet. His friends and family and I think us...assume we wills stay together and all will be great but to be honest we haven't had a real discussion about it. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing, but I know we will have to before he leaves. Talk about leaving it until the last minute! Haha. We have a great foundation. Does anyone have any suggestions for a going away...starting long distance relationship little present. I want to give him something to take with him or even suggestions on bringing up the topic with out all the dramatics
Ani Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I'm starting to get anxious as my boyfriend of 6 months moves across the country for work. I've known since we met but haven't really "worried" or thought about it. it's like it hasn't processed yet. His friends and family and I think us...assume we wills stay together and all will be great but to be honest we haven't had a real discussion about it. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing, but I know we will have to before he leaves. Talk about leaving it until the last minute! Haha. We have a great foundation. Does anyone have any suggestions for a going away...starting long distance relationship little present. I want to give him something to take with him or even suggestions on bringing up the topic with out all the dramatics Enjoy the last few days together. That's all I can really say. Maybe cook him his favorite dinner, or surprise him with something you know he'll remember.
amayana Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I'm starting to get anxious as my boyfriend of 6 months moves across the country for work. I've known since we met but haven't really "worried" or thought about it. it's like it hasn't processed yet. His friends and family and I think us...assume we wills stay together and all will be great but to be honest we haven't had a real discussion about it. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing, but I know we will have to before he leaves. Talk about leaving it until the last minute! Haha. We have a great foundation. Does anyone have any suggestions for a going away...starting long distance relationship little present. I want to give him something to take with him or even suggestions on bringing up the topic with out all the dramatics Hello Please, for your own sake, do not leave it up till the last minute to discuss such a serious matter with him. It is very important that you discuss what is going to happen next as soon as possible, if you haven't already. Otherwise you will be confused, insecure and anxious, which are all inevitably leading to a lot of unhappiness & anguish. Bringing it up may seem daunting but I suggest you to be straightforward. If you feel like you'll start crying, just do. You are allowed to. There is nothing dramatic about it. What I mean is that it is very hard for a couple to have to go long distance. It takes a lot of courage and strength. I remember discussing LD with my BF. I also remember trying to hold back my tears and to be civil about it but then I burst into tears. And my BF wept with me. And I think it was the first time I had ever seen him cry. You'll be fine, no matter what! You could give him a t-shirt of yours, for example. Or a scarf. Something that smells of you because that is something he is going to miss, I'm sure. Maybe a sincere love letter with it, which he will be able to keep and read as often as he wants. 1
Author HeartOnSleeve Posted October 10, 2012 Author Posted October 10, 2012 Thank you so much for your reply Amayana! How long had you known your bf and how did you bring up the LD talk? I defiantly agree and do regret waiting until the 11th hour.
amayana Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 Thank you so much for your reply Amayana! How long had you known your bf and how did you bring up the LD talk? I defiantly agree and do regret waiting until the 11th hour. You're very welcome, dear. I know how hard it is! There's still some time to talk about it. I think the essential thing is that you do before he leaves. My BF and I had known each other for 3 1/2 months, we had only been dating for 2. Everyone told me I was crazy but we're still going strong together, even after having been LD for almost 5 months now. So if I were you, I wouldn't worry about it too much because you've been together for half a year. That gives a couple plenty of time to get to know each other thoroughly
Author HeartOnSleeve Posted October 10, 2012 Author Posted October 10, 2012 Wow....that is so awesome to hear you guys are doing so well! and you are right there is still time and I defiantly would like to do it before he leaves...after would just not be right. How often do you two get to see each other?
amayana Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Wow....that is so awesome to hear you guys are doing so well! and you are right there is still time and I defiantly would like to do it before he leaves...after would just not be right. How often do you two get to see each other? We try to get to see each other every 1 - 2 months which isn't easy because plane tickets are tremendously expensive but it's worked out so far. We're also collecting miles which in the long run will be of great use I'm sure. So there's a solution to everything!
Ninjainpajamas Posted October 14, 2012 Posted October 14, 2012 Wow, It's hard to imagine you've been in a relationship and haven't talked about It being LDR or anything about the subject...sounds like he didn't intend this to go the distance? Honestly I'm a bit perplexed how a conversation that big doesn't get addressed, can't wrap my head around it...two people, that are in love yes? talking about the fear, tensions, essential suffering of being away from each other? As far as you know what was supposed to happen? seems like the communication is really lacking, either intentionally or because you guys don't really seem to have deep conversations because anything really emotional would have to lead to this topic I would imagine. It is temporary? long-distance? are you so close it's obvious you will still be together. So many questions, but you definitely need to clear the air, whether you fear the truth/answers for your own peace of mind.
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