Wonder woman 33 Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 My ex cheated on me last month, he hasnt made any effort to get back together and hasnt shown he is sorry in anyway. he also spoke to me like crap when i found out and continued to afterwards. We havent spoken for 3 weeks now does he really not care about what he did seriously???
NoMoreJerks Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 My ex cheated on me last month, he hasnt made any effort to get back together and hasnt shown he is sorry in anyway. he also spoke to me like crap when i found out and continued to afterwards. We havent spoken for 3 weeks now does he really not care about what he did seriously??? No, he doesn't care... are you for real? If he cared, he wouldn't 1) cheat; 2) act this way. Ever heard of the saying: the best defense is offense ? 1
KatZee Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 (edited) No, he really DOESN'T care. My ex cheated on me, and the reason I decided to stay was because when I found out we had been together for years, and he had done it when we were in the first few months together. I also stayed because he seemed to be showing genuine remorse, saying how it was such a big mistake, and how could he cheat on someone he loved so much. Blah blah blah... I fell for the words. It was his subsequent actions which really cemented to me that he didn't care, and I'm in the mentality now that cheaters just don't care. I know some like to say that "once a cheater, NOT always a cheater" but I have yet to meet one of these types of cheaters. To be a cheater in the first place, it means you have no morals, no integrity, no set of values and shows you're extremely selfish. With all of these personal flaws, how can they TRULY care for another human being? My ex, after being FORGIVEN for cheating, proceeded to get angry at me whenever I tried to talk about it to help me move on. He had the BALLS to tell me that he couldn't handle it anymore and wouldn't stay with me if I continued talking about it. I also found out that he didn't really confess on his own accord, and if he wasn't terrified someone was going to tell me he cheated, he wouldn't have told me at all. I then pieced together the time that he cheated on me, and a mere 2 weeks after he cheated on me, we went out with his friends, the ex was THERE! with whom he cheated, and he proceeded to tell me THAT NIGHT that he was never going to stop talking to her, that she was his friend, that he wanted a "friendship" with her. That finally cemented that he didn't give a s.hit about what he did. He's so egotistical and self centered that he couldn't even comprehend the severity of what he did. I will NEVER again in my lifetime forgive a cheater. You cheat on me and you're done. If someone shows me who they are, I'm going to believe it. This is why your ex doesn't seem to really care. Because he DOESN'T. It's all about him. And what he wants and what he needs. Why should he, or my ex care about us little peons?! Edited October 9, 2012 by KatZee 1
LostOne1 Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 personally I don't think cheaters ever should be forgiven.. they KNOW what they are doing. If you love someone you should feel guilty if your provoked into cheating and that should be enough to show you love someone and wouldn't hurt them. 1
Calico Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Most people with flawed values have immense difficulties when it comes to taking responsibility for their own actions. It's much easier to blame someone else and avoid owning up to mistakes (society doesn't reward taking responsibility). If someone had a spine, they wouldn't cheat while in a relationship and instead end things before starting something new, so what can you really expect of them when it comes to credibility, courage and character? Plus, those of us who got cheated on often make it very easy for them, too, because somehow the first reaction (and second and third) is to believe that if we got cheated on, we weren't good enough and that something is wrong with us. I'm not generally thinking all that lowly of myself, but I turned depressing forty this year, and that was the year when my (younger) partner cheated on me with a (younger than her) guy. I had no trouble completely believing that it was all my fault, especially when she reinforced that belief by redirecting her shame and guilt on me. It took me a few weeks of wallowing in self-pity before I started to wonder what that smell was -- then I recognised it for what it was: bulls-hit. 1
Woggle Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Because cheaters tend to have huge entitlement complexes and think it is their right to treat anybody how they want to. 2
sendme Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 I think they get angry because in some sense they think that if they're cheating you must be cheating too... At least that's what my ex thought, and he used that thought to continue to do whatever he wanted.... on our one year anniversary he bought me a $1,300 'promise' ring... not a lot for some people but a HUGE gesture for him.... and yet the whole time he was stringing along two other women, two women who he would meet up with a sleep with, one of whom he is still seeing I'm sure of it.... it kills, he cheated and cheated and cheated, and got angry at me and angry at me, and I kept taking him back... we've been NC for 9 days now... I just got back from a great vacation, but we live near each other and the only way to get to my house is to drive by his house... knowing he's home and doesn't care to see me.... that kills.... it all hurts.... but the anger he has for me hurts the most I think....
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