WildWildWest Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 The guy I have been seeing is confusing the hell outta me... he's been hurt before in the past and he says he's not putting his heart out there to be hurt again but the way he is with me seems to tell me something different... He tells me that he cant just have sex with me that he has to make love to me.. last night I experienced a feeling that I have never felt with anybody else.. the way he kissed me, so soft and slow.. looking deep into my eyes.. I felt a connection that I have never felt before.. he put so much feeling into it.. Can a guy do all that and not really have strong feelings for the person? I want to believe his actions were genuine but with him telling me he's not putting himself out there and not wanting a relationship makes me think otherwise.. I'm just really confused
MrCastle Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I do that kind of stuff. I'm passionate for the short term but don't want to be tied down with a LTR. It's not that I have zero feelings for the girl; I do have feelings for her--just a different type of feeling. It very well could grow into something more depending on the guy.
Ninjainpajamas Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Yes they can WildWildWest... Don't fall for it, I can promise you that he means what he says...don't be "confused" there's nothing to be confused about...he's acting the way he is with you because he likely just wants to sweep you off your feet and have you wrapped around his finger, then he conveniently will check out whenever he feels the desire to do so. This is just your first experience with a guy like this Wild, but don't blow it way out of proportion...love isn't only about eye gazing and soft kisses, any guy with half a brain can pull that off...unfortunately most don't have the sense and motivation to ever do anything like that because they get what they want hardly putting in effort because many women chase for very little. And like you, IF you don't know any better then that's as good as it gets right? Well trust me, It gets better than this and this guy is just playing with your mind intentionally. Don't believe the BS about his emotions, he doesn't want to give you those emotions and he doesn't have them for you. The higher you go, the harder the fall..he's either young and stupid and doesn't realize what he's doing to you emotionally or just doesn't give a damn enough about you to stop himself from pushing your emotional buttons. If he's experienced you're pretty screwed, you're going to be stuck and hooked until he decides to drop you...your "emotions" and "curiosity" will end up causing you to string yourself along believing in some false hope...and the longer you stick around the more it's going to hurt and the more "confused" you will feel because in the end he will walk away and you'll wonder IF anything was even real. Sorry, but you're being played...just played well for your level of awareness, but I'm telling you what's going on because I know exactly what this guy is doing. It's up to you IF you want to stick it out anyway, It won't end well though...so don't give him everything you have, don't just say F it I'll poor my heart and soul into anyway and maybe it'll work out...that may damage you for years to come when he goes If you fall for this guys smoke and mirrors.
MrCastle Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 he's acting the way he is with you because he likely just wants to sweep you off your feet and have you wrapped around his finger, then he conveniently will check out whenever he feels the desire to do so. Sounds bad when you say it like that
HeldbyGravity Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 (edited) The guy I have been seeing is confusing the hell outta me... he's been hurt before in the past and he says he's not putting his heart out there to be hurt again but the way he is with me seems to tell me something different... He tells me that he cant just have sex with me that he has to make love to me.. last night I experienced a feeling that I have never felt with anybody else.. the way he kissed me, so soft and slow.. looking deep into my eyes.. I felt a connection that I have never felt before.. he put so much feeling into it.. Can a guy do all that and not really have strong feelings for the person? I want to believe his actions were genuine but with him telling me he's not putting himself out there and not wanting a relationship makes me think otherwise.. I'm just really confused Well he has told you that he has been hurt in the past, so he does not want to emotionally commit. Doesn't mean he is incapable of it, it just means he is scared of it. I would be cautious about what that actually means. Sex, by the way, releases hormones that are meant to make us feel closer to a "mate", resulting in a cuddle-wanting afterglow. So that he had sex with you and that made you feel connected to him does not mean what you may think it means. Be careful there. A lot of people have sex early on and it makes them feel attached to the person before they have even established an emotional connection- it's a false security. That can possibly result in a little confusion as a relationship progresses. Also, sex is a bit different for guys. It can be far less emotional, more of a physical need and want. So again, just because he had sex with you and he had it "nicely", doesn't mean he is going to commit to you any time soon. Edited October 9, 2012 by HeldbyGravity
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