RudeLou Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I've been finding excuses for why my ex left me. It's only been about three days. I feel like I've made some progress already. I still have moments where I miss US, but I talk to a friend or distract myself in order to forget. I admit I still have strong feelings for her and wish her the best because she was a really good friend before we were a couple. And I honestly feel that there were some issues she needs to deal with. Am I banking on her coming back to me? No, but in time when I'm comfortable I would consider being her friend again. We do work together and we're being civil about things. She even complemented that I look good and have been losing weight. I know she still loves me, she told me during the break up. There are just some things that couldn't be resolved without taking a break and giving her space. What I do need help with is not trying to make excuses for why she left and trying not to be as available to her anymore. Thanks for reading and I appreciate any advice.
Calico Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 It's good that you feel better, but I don't buy even for a moment that you are not banking on her coming back. That's okay, though, just takes time and it's awesome that you focus on yourself, like working on your fitness and looking ahead. Keep doing things for yourself, regardless of how she might view them. I think that analyzing the situation is part of the process, and I still do that way too often, but at the end of the day it's not really important because the past is pretty much insubstantial and when relationships fail it's not just the fault of one partner. Lessons learned from the past can be useful, but every relationship is different, and you won't ever really know what another person may have felt or thought, so it's a little futile to try and make/find excuses or explanations. And often, there's not even a specific reason -- sometimes, the reason is just because. Keep on moving forward, you are on the right track!
flitzanu Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I've been finding excuses for why my ex left me. It's only been about three days. I feel like I've made some progress already. I still have moments where I miss US, but I talk to a friend or distract myself in order to forget. I admit I still have strong feelings for her and wish her the best because she was a really good friend before we were a couple. And I honestly feel that there were some issues she needs to deal with. Am I banking on her coming back to me? No, but in time when I'm comfortable I would consider being her friend again. We do work together and we're being civil about things. She even complemented that I look good and have been losing weight. I know she still loves me, she told me during the break up. There are just some things that couldn't be resolved without taking a break and giving her space. What I do need help with is not trying to make excuses for why she left and trying not to be as available to her anymore. Thanks for reading and I appreciate any advice. there's no need for excuses...the REASON is simply that she doesn't want to be with you. excuses are irrelevant.
Author RudeLou Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 It's good that you feel better, but I don't buy even for a moment that you are not banking on her coming back. That's okay, though, just takes time and it's awesome that you focus on yourself, like working on your fitness and looking ahead. Keep doing things for yourself, regardless of how she might view them. I think that analyzing the situation is part of the process, and I still do that way too often, but at the end of the day it's not really important because the past is pretty much insubstantial and when relationships fail it's not just the fault of one partner. Lessons learned from the past can be useful, but every relationship is different, and you won't ever really know what another person may have felt or thought, so it's a little futile to try and make/find excuses or explanations. And often, there's not even a specific reason -- sometimes, the reason is just because. Keep on moving forward, you are on the right track! Lol well I would like to think that I'm not banking on that. Ohh yea totally I'm working on myself for me. I can only do things now that make me happy. I no longer have to compromise or do things I don't want to anymore. Thanks Calico! I'll make sure to do what I can to keep moving forward!
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