lovecash Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Here's my quick story: She broke up with me 1 month ago, NC since then (4.5 year relationship). I have had a lot of time to think about the relationship and see the underlying issues that caused this to happen: basically she started a new job last year and we had no time for our relationship. We kind of lost touch with each other and didnt have enough time to do those special things during the week which made us great together. She was always so busy and tired when we did hang out that we werent able to connect like we used to be able to. We were best friends and truly enjoyed each others company at all times. Also, during our relationship, the ex was diagnosed with anxiety and started taking anti ds to help her through it (i stuck with her through everything). The month before she broke up with me she stopped taking them w/o talking to her doctor, and basically went a little crazy to make a story short. I know this girl is amazing and I do want to be with her still. Once I had this month apart, I have realized what our problems were and I know they can be fixed. She has dealt with so much in her life and I think she is just going through something she doesnt truly understand. I refuse to go down without making one attempt to get her back. My plan is this: Over the next 3-4 months take care of myself and get back to being the best person I can be. Then, after the holidays, I am going to feel her out and approach her. I know people on this site say let her contact you, dont make the first move. But, I dont have time to wait around for this girl forever. If I can't reconnect with her after the holidays, I will fully accept it and move on for good. Does this sound solid or am I just setting myself up for failure?
flitzanu Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Here's my quick story: She broke up with me 1 month ago, NC since then (4.5 year relationship). I have had a lot of time to think about the relationship and see the underlying issues that caused this to happen: basically she started a new job last year and we had no time for our relationship. We kind of lost touch with each other and didnt have enough time to do those special things during the week which made us great together. She was always so busy and tired when we did hang out that we werent able to connect like we used to be able to. We were best friends and truly enjoyed each others company at all times. Also, during our relationship, the ex was diagnosed with anxiety and started taking anti ds to help her through it (i stuck with her through everything). The month before she broke up with me she stopped taking them w/o talking to her doctor, and basically went a little crazy to make a story short. I know this girl is amazing and I do want to be with her still. Once I had this month apart, I have realized what our problems were and I know they can be fixed. She has dealt with so much in her life and I think she is just going through something she doesnt truly understand. I refuse to go down without making one attempt to get her back. My plan is this: Over the next 3-4 months take care of myself and get back to being the best person I can be. Then, after the holidays, I am going to feel her out and approach her. I know people on this site say let her contact you, dont make the first move. But, I dont have time to wait around for this girl forever. If I can't reconnect with her after the holidays, I will fully accept it and move on for good. Does this sound solid or am I just setting myself up for failure? if she doesn't want to be with you now, why exactly will she want to be with you months down the road?
TaraMaiden Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 ...... Does this sound solid or am I just setting myself up for failure? The latter, unfortunately..... 1
NavyAirTraffic Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Would you have ever left her, if you were just slightly unsure about being with her and broke up with her, would you just walk away and not talk to her, or would you go get her back? She left you and sounds like she hasn't looked back. No matter what you say you can't change her mind. Only thing you'll do is destroy yourself even more. Imagine if you did "talk her" into getting back with you, you convince her somehow, you tell her how much you love her and she understands and comes back. How confident will you be that she'll stick around, how would you feel being with someone you had to "talk into being with you". She already knows you love her, she already knows you want to be with her and she simply doesn't care! Harsh? Yes. Truth? Also yes. TaraMaiden is right.
bonespockirk Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Would you have ever left her, if you were just slightly unsure about being with her and broke up with her, would you just walk away and not talk to her, or would you go get her back? She left you and sounds like she hasn't looked back. No matter what you say you can't change her mind. Only thing you'll do is destroy yourself even more. Imagine if you did "talk her" into getting back with you, you convince her somehow, you tell her how much you love her and she understands and comes back. How confident will you be that she'll stick around, how would you feel being with someone you had to "talk into being with you". She already knows you love her, she already knows you want to be with her and she simply doesn't care! Harsh? Yes. Truth? Also yes. TaraMaiden is right. thanks navyairtraffic, i have to keep reminding myself to not contact him because he knows how i already feel and he is the one that wants to move on.
Jack32 Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 Considering you were in a relationship for almost 5 years and most of it was great I think it is definitely worth it to give this a second chance. She broke up with you over the wrong reasons as it seems. I think you are on the right track, just dont wait too long! 1
NavyAirTraffic Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 thanks navyairtraffic, i have to keep reminding myself to not contact him because he knows how i already feel and he is the one that wants to move on. Bones, we are all on the same boat. I tell myself those things when I think about contacting my ex.
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