chubby Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 [font=arial][/font][color=red][/color] Ok I need some help here. I was going out with a girl up until recently. It was going fine until we started going to different universities. It put a lot of pressure on us due to socialising in different circles and I always felt she put her new college friends before me, as she seemed to have more interest in them. Anyway, we broke up last February, as she needed her space etc etc. I contracted bacterial meningitis a week after though (how's that for bad luck!!!) and we got back together the day I came out of hospital. Then start of june she dumped me again as she felt we were going in two different directions. She claims she wants to be really good friends, but yet all she has been doing really is sending the od text message here and there and meeting up once or twice. Is it me... or her.....
uriel Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 It's not you or her -- it's the circumstances. More often than not, relationships don't survive different colleges. There are too many temptations, for one thing. For another, the experience is so intense, it feels good to share it with someone who's going through the exact same things on the same campus. That includes the social circle factor. It might be that you wouldn't have lasted all four years at the same school anyway. You're young and maturing -- finding out more and more about yourself. You might have grown apart or found someone who was a better match in this expanded pool of possibilities. Same for her. Better not to hold on to this now. Maybe she was your security blanket -- something familiar in your life when everything else is changing. Being with her at least took pressure off your having to look for someone new and possibly face rejection / uncertainty. Maybe you genuinely love her and will find this separation sad always. Whichever it is, you can't force the issue. If she just wants to be friends, that means, probably, distant friends rather than everyday, intimate ones. It's not really possible to have that kind of friendship with an ex, especially when the breakup isn't mutual. Let it -- and her -- go. -- uriel
Recommended Posts