lostandheartbroken Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Hi guys! It's been rough for me for the past month. I've been dating this guy for about a year and a half and all of a sudden he disappeared. I liked this guy for 3 years while we were friends. From my previously post I explained a little bit about his personality; he's a workaholic. When I didn't talk to him for the passed month, I was trying to be understanding and I thought he was just busy with schoolwork and work, thinking that he'll come around like he'll always does. Stupid of me, I know. . There were times where I tried to message him, yet no response! I wanted to go confront him at house or wherever, but I don't want to look like a fool (because he pushed me out of his house last time). A couple days ago, I noticed he blocked me off of gchat and removed me from his Google+ friend's list. Boy, I was not happy to see that. I felt that it was really immature and middle/high school-ish I messaged and called him asking him to talk to me and just tell me what's going on...I asked him if WE can talk to each other personally in a mature and civilized way...I told him that his actions are beyond childish and out of respect we should just talk about what's his issue...instead of walking away and ignoring me. It's obvious that he isn't interested in this relationship anymore. But he's doing it the cowardly way to end it. I certainly just want the closure and handle this respectfully. I want to remain friends and not to hate each other (since we were friends to begin with). I want to know what was wrong and not be confused or make it cause future problems for me with future relationships. You guys, how exactly do I cope with this situation? How do I let go after liking him for so long? Do you guys think it's a good idea for me to: confront him, keep messaging him, and all that jazz? It's really making me sad...I don't understand how a person can stoop so low and just walk away from someone that cares about them with out saying anything and officially ending it.
Leigh 87 Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 After a year and a half, he just ignores you? Why would you want to be friends with someone who is so selfish and thoughtless, that they just ignored a girl they were intimate with for 1.5 years? ........Something tells me he was not all that into you to begin with. Guys who are really in love would not just ignore you! I am sure he cared about you and wishes you well, and he would care if something happened to you; but that is ALL. He obviously did not feel strongly enough about you to even say goodbye. It is bizarre to me how guys do this, but it happens ALL the time: they are very busy in their lives, they have not met a girl they are crazily in love with yet, so they date a series of women who are nice enough to have sex with occasionally and spend time with, but that is IT; you were never a long term prospect for him, or he would not have just been able to ignore you after a year and a half. Don't take this too harshly! he DID like you enough to keep spending time and getting sex from you. I mean, guys like that (studying and working hard) would probably not just use a girl they did not like at ALL. So he DID like you. Just not strongly in a romantic sense. I try to be less blunt than some people on here. Guys, even guys who use girls STILL care about them on SOME level; your not just some stranger who he would not care about if you died. He cares about you on a VERY basic, minimal level. NOT enough to want to spend time with you or see you again.
Paloma875 Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Something similar happened to me, although I hadn't by then invested a year and a half into it. If I were you I'd take his very behaviour right now to be the closure you need... this man has zero respect for you or your feelings. Do not message him....You have already confronted him and he responded by blocking you. The only thing you will achieve by continuing to try and talk to him about things is more cold shoulders and more confusion. Please don't do that to yourself for a man who clearly isn't concerned about how you might be taking this.
KatZee Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I don't think you should give this guy the time of day. Clearly (from his end) you guys weren't that great of friends to begin with, if he couldn't even end this correctly or give you the respect you deserve. I don't think you should even want to have this guy as a "friend." Would you treat your friends this way? Anyone who can pull this with you isn't a friend. It's a person who doesn't care about you, doesn't respect you, and doesn't think much of you at all. You don't need closure either. This is your closure. Learning who he truly is. It sucks, because I know you want more, you want that friendship, but that doesn't really work out, at least not this soon after a split. Wish him well, and start moving forward. 2
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