corsedelaformula Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Hey, so I'm new to this forum because I would love a bit of insight on my current... Situation. Yes, let's call it that... And before I start, yes, I do still love my ex boyfriend, I do want to get back together with him and no I am not emotionally unstable (anymore) and can control my emotions. But if what must be done be done, so be it.. So let's begin. In brief, my lover and I are splitsville. We broke up roughly 2 months ago when I exploded at him for something stupid. I said to him that I didnt think it was working out and he called me a couple days later after no talking to end it. We are both college students, we both are studying the exact same course as each other so we always see each other every day except over the past two weeks as we have been on holidays. As of tomorrow, from when I post this, we will be seeing each other in class again. We both also have part time jobs, except he has to travel outside of town on weekends in order to work in areas where he gets no phone reception. We broke up because we were arguing a lot. He's the one who ended it because he felt we needed a break from each other. When he said this, he cried to me over the phone which was a rarity from him. I cried and begged that he didnt end it but he said he lvoed me but we needed a break. He seemed to have wanted to really work things out over the first two weeks of our break up but one month after we split he decided he didn't want a relationship "at the moment" and even said that he was probably still angry with me because I "broke up with him for no reason". Of course, I admit that I did all the wrong things by pleading, begging and crying for forgiveness and another chance and tried to talk to him, even went as far as hitting him when he ignored me one day in class - he used to always talk to me about whatever new science thing he had learned but since the break up, he would always talk to other people about it - basically replacing me with other people. It angered me, I tried to hit him, he got angry with me, so I apologized the next day and said we should avoid each other. He said it was a good plan and that he would sit away from me for a while - which of course he didn't do. I kept my word - didn't speak for him for a week until he approached me, when he spoke to me and had a laugh. This was the last day of term before our holidays. In those two weeks I have not initiated any contact and I haven't even looked at his facebook page. All I knew was that he would be working for most of those two weeks out of town. While away, I wrote a long ass apology letter to him, thoroughly explaining what went wrong, what I did wrong and what I should have done differently. I dropped it off in his letterbox while he was out of town and a few days later, coming home, he messages me on facebook after reading it. He tells me that he hasn't been doing very well and feels "pretty ****" he then starts questioning me whether I've been seeing other guys, to which I said there's a few options without getting into details. He then brings up the letter, stating that he felt "saddened" by it as it was really deep and emotional. He then admits to me that he started seeing someone else in those two weeks. So I acted upbeat and cool with it even though he kept being sad and apologizing about it. I even said to him "as long as you are happy then it's all good" he then says "thanks though honestly I don't think this new girl will work out but I guess I'll give it a shot." to which I said "you never know unless you give it a try." Did I even do the right thing by saying that? So when class starts again, I wonder whether I should continue on with NC/LC because without a doubt, I still want to work things out with him regardless if he is seeing some other woman right now. I also can't help but wonder what his words mean - is he stringing me along in case it doesn't work with this girl? Does he still have feelings for me? Why would he even say some of those things? What I'm more interested to know is has he gone into a rebound relationship? One thing about him is that he is able to get over situations really quickly and move on so fast and easily. Some of our fights when we were together were ignored because he would say to me "I just want to pretend it didn't happen" then would shrug it off like it never was an issue in the first place. I do fear that no matter what happens, he will do this and get over things really fast as if nothing happened. If he knows I am seeing other guys and am interested in any that he would shrug it off and accept it then get over it. Which really puts my panties in a knot. Go ahead, tell me he's a jerk and that I should move on but I would still love a bit of insight on my situation and get those questions answered as well as what I should do next. Coming onto this forum has been kind of a last resort for me as I have been a little skeptical on going public with my issue. But for those who are reading, thanks and I'm anxiously awaiting your advice. :3
ReadMyThread Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Sounds to me like he still loves you but he is going to use the "new girl" to try to get over you. Let's hope you had more to offer than she does and that you look better than her (which I'm sure you do you sexy thing lol). Then he may realize that what he had with you, he will never have again with another girl. He may want it, he may not. You never know. I know you don't want to hear the whole "Go no contact and move on" bulls***. Believe me, I hate hearing it too on here lol but sadly, that is what is best in this type of situation. OR you can seriously wait for him but you never know what will happen with him and this new girl. What if they do workout and are happy? You'll be heartbroken all over again. :/. You can wait but what if he NEVER wants to be with you again you know? You can't MAKE somebody want you and that is what pisses us off the most. Being told they love you but then being told they don't want you. Hardest words to hear. My opinion, you should just keep focusing on yourself. Like you said, "I am not emotionally unstable anymore." that's good! I wish I wasn't lol. Now why risk losing that if he possible doesn't want to be with you ever again? Love sucks. I'm here for you though. As we all our and I gave you my opinion. Don't talk to him while he is with this new girl that is for sure. You'll just make them stronger by doing so. If he is in fact with this new girl and you know! Then let it be. Don't interfere them AT ALL! You love him and therefore you want him to be happy, if she makes him happy then you have to accept that and let him be happy. You deserve someone who wouldn't have gave up on you like he gave up on you. Like you said you wanted to remain together even with you two arguing lately which means you have TRUE LOVE for this guy which is probably why you are waiting for him and hoping he will come back. But if he LEFT you, he gave up on you girl. Put it this way, when he LEFT you, it showed he IS NOT in love with you anymore. He will ALWAYS love you because there was a time he WAS in love with you but he will not always be IN LOVE with you. It sucks I'm going through the same only different in my story is, my ex girlfriend actually left me for ANOTHER GUY! And she now thinks I cheated on her while we were together . I wish she didn't have trust issues but you can't change someone. They can only change their selfs. That goes to your ex aswell. You can't make him change his mind. Only he can. You can wait for it or not but if you wait it will only hurt more
Author corsedelaformula Posted October 10, 2012 Author Posted October 10, 2012 Thank you very much for responding. Trust me when I say that I am trying to move on (and also trust me when I say that he can never resist my looks, I still remember him being amazed the first time he saw me in the nip. Hehe) I dunno, he often gave me "hints" that he would have liked to try it again but of course actions speak louder than words... Would he have said "this is only a break" several million times to me in those first two weeks then later on say "I don't want a relationship at the moment but maybe in time we can give things another shot." if he didn't want me anymore? Then again maybe I'm just reading into that. If that's not the case, then oh well. Also another thing to trust me on, I'm not talking to him or even as much as initiating contact. However if he speaks to me, I'll talk back as I have been advised to do. He once again spoke to me, only to tell me this morning via text that he wasn't feeling well and wasn't coming into class. I just find it odd that he will text me out of a class of 18 people and won't call the coordinator either... tl;dr, Despite those annoyances I probably should really try and move on. I'm not contacting him any ways, he starts up the conversations. Also I'm sorry to hear about your situation sounds like my ex prior to this guy, actually. Started making up a bunch of baloney stories about me to make me look like a horrible person even though he's the one who cheated on me and acts like he never did. Terrible liar. I got back at him by letting him dump me then moving on. XD
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