kaylan Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 lol dartmouth? I have a couple of acquaintances who are Ivy, and they have made Dartmouth the butt of many jokes before. And Cornell to a lesser extent. Hell for some reason, even among state schoolers like myself and my friends, we kinda see dartmouth and cornell at the bottom only because of how much you hear about Princeton, Harvard, Yale, etc
jobaba Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 .Close. It's an ivy, but one of the lesser known ones. If I can only date up, that gives me a fairly limited dating pool. And one filled with a lot of snobs who think they're smarter than they actually are, or guys who aren't looking for relationships because they're one track minded. Of course, there are exceptions, some of whom I've befriended. This is why you don't follow rules. Ah. Usually when people say Top 10, they mean Duke, or Northwestern. Because if they went to an Ivy, they'll just say Ivy. I ashamed to say I do know some people who do think elitist. But they wouldnt be like, "I went to Harvard and she went to Brown. I'm too good for her." It'd be more like, "I went to Columbia, and she went to BU. I'm too good for her."
Author Serendipity1122 Posted October 10, 2012 Author Posted October 10, 2012 . Ah. Usually when people say Top 10, they mean Duke, or Northwestern. Because if they went to an Ivy, they'll just say Ivy. I ashamed to say I do know some people who do think elitist. But they wouldnt be like, "I went to Harvard and she went to Brown. I'm too good for her." It'd be more like, "I went to Columbia, and she went to BU. I'm too good for her." Indeed, many do. I use Top 10 because I despise the term Ivy and all its connotations, as much as I generally liked my college. I did mention it once in this thread already. (Sidenote: ranking in itself is pretty stupid, but top 10 gets your point across pretty well) It's like a club. You can date anyone in the club (Ivy), but God forbid you look outside it. People exist out there in the dumpsters?
NoMoreJerks Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 Having a more successful woman taking interest can definitely be exhilarating because I can be sure that she truly loves me and has no materialistic motives. But the downside is that the moment a more successful guy who is at her level financially and socially comes along, she would be far more likely to disappear in a blink of an eye. Why would she? That's assuming that she was after the money/status. If she had been, she wouldn't have been with the lesser-earning guy to begin with, would she?
NoMoreJerks Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 Do people actually trumpet their salaries prior to a long-term commitment? Eh, not really -- in my case, it just came up in conversations about jobs and satisfaction with our jobs, etc.
ScreamingTrees Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 Don't care about such silly stuff. Unless someone I'm seeing is very materialistic and money-orientated, I don't see why it'd be an issue. Feeling emasculated? I'm still the one with the penis, and can lift heavy objects and eat bacon and grow a moustache and all of those manly things that MOST females can't.. At least not naturally. 1
Leigh 87 Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 If I get a good paying job, more than my partner gets, he would just be like " wow, good work babe, more money for you to spend go you!" Career wise, I am into studying and will get a professional job shortly, where as he is into labour intensive jobs, and opperating machinary. When I get my degree or certificate for a proffessional job I am passionate about, he will be so proud of me, rather than be annoyed I have a "higher status" job than he does:sick: He would encourage me when we go on holidays to "live it up, go on, go to the nice restaurant while I eat dodgy chicken from the market:sick: " More money means more for the both of us. I only date people who share their success with me, and life wise. Your not going to get a sports car and go out alone to expensive dinners... your going to want to, within reason, share your life with them and try to enable them to have a taste of the good life too, without letting them take it for granted. More money in a committed relationship means more security fro both of you! In my relationships, more money for one person = a better time for us both. it means if one person is poor, one person can pay for their musc festival ticket. Or pay more than half for a trip to make it happen sooner. I truly think in a marriage or long term relationship, both your money should impact you as a unit, rather than "every man for themselves"
serial muse Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 I think it just depends on the person, and on the dynamic. I did earn more than my exH, and he was also intimidated (he admitted this during the divorce) by the disparity in our education. No, I never cheated on him, nor was I even thinking about it. I thought he had his own strengths, and that we complemented each other. However, he didn't see it that way, and so he cheated, as a way of evening the score. Lovely. But that was him. He wasn't a strong human being, and it's why I realized there was no point in reconciling with him when he later wanted to. He was never going to be able to get over his own insecurities about it, and he was the sort of person who would blame me for them. My current H is a completely different sort of person, and we are equals in every way that matters. I can't imagine him being intimidated by anybody.
crosswordfiend Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 I can't speak for myself, but I am confident that this would be an issue for many many men. The difference in income is probably less important than the differences in educational background which speak to differing levels of sophistication and views of what a normal life trajectory are. Unless you have no family left and have lost touch with all your university friends, eventually the relationship is going to progress to the point where he meets your family and friends. If your school is anything like the one I went to, you were on the fast track to some career of choice and your peer group would consist of many people sporting similar indicators of success. No matter who good your relationship as a couple is, you would be deluding yourself if you thought the guy didn't feel like he didn't measure up with respect to the other members of your social circle.
Recommended Posts