LittlePrince Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 oooooooookay Anyone who doesn't like zoo's let their inner child die long ago. 1
LittlePrince Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 your a homosexual My hand hasn't complained yet.
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 and when you think that way about every man..... Oh howdy LittlePrince
LittlePrince Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Oh howdy LittlePrince Howdy back lil' pardner!
Author Serendipity1122 Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 I think there's a general consensus that in and of itself, a girl earning more money or of higher social status wouldn't be a deterrent. But would it be enough reason for a guy to hesitate to ask her out or make the first move because of that perceived superiority? "I don't meet such women so it isn't a problem but those kind of women are more likely to cheat or move on. They aren't good for the sake of stability." I don't agree with this, but it seems there's the common perception that socially/financially-independent women can't take guys who are less well-off seriously. Isn't that personal insecurity talking? There might just be the possibility that she likes other aspects about the guy, so much that she picked him, and not some Wall Street bro. Salaries fluctuate, although personalities and looks are harder to change.
LittlePrince Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 A good part of a woman's attraction is image and ambition oriented. 1
Author Serendipity1122 Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 Reading all of these responses is quite insightful. Thanks, guys. Personality can take people the extra mile. A guy who earns less, but is confident and gentlemanly regardless of his earning abilities can still look very appealing to a girl. There are intelligent, respectable guys (and girls) out there who make less money than dense *******s. Not to mention there are thousands of other qualities that come into play. It's the same for guys, no? Though looks tend to be a huge initial factor, it can't be the basis for a successful relationship...I'd hope. Also wanted to clarify: as the relationship started to get more serious, or more time passed, I feel like salary range would naturally come up in conversation. Jobs are an important part of your life...heck, people spend anywhere from 12-20 years in school trying to get that financial stability. You could also semi-accurately guess the approximate range from the type of job both of you have. 1
Author Serendipity1122 Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 A good part of a woman's attraction is image and ambition oriented. Okay, while I agree with that, they're both pretty subjective. People can be earning less right now than their longterm earning potential because they're starting out entry-level in a career that pays based on experience. One might also still be a student, while the other already has a job. Salaries fluctuate. Besides, isn't ambition and image part of your personality? Not an exterior variable like pay, but an inner one? You can be smart and have goals without having reached them yet. A girl might be looking at the whole picture, not just the now...
LittlePrince Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Okay, while I agree with that, they're both pretty subjective. People can be earning less right now than their longterm earning potential because they're starting out entry-level in a career that pays based on experience. One might also still be a student, while the other already has a job. Salaries fluctuate. Besides, isn't ambition and image part of your personality? Not an exterior variable like pay, but an inner one? You can be smart and have goals without having reached them yet. A girl might be looking at the whole picture, not just the now... You can be the most ambitious janitor but people won't see you as ambitious. You could be a wiz at day trading worth millions but they'll still see you as apart of the dregs of society because you are just a janitor.
Author Serendipity1122 Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 I know we use "janitors" as the prime example of a lowpaying job that a lot of people don't respect. But it's rather extreme for this scenario. How about more realistic discrepancies like doctor vs. teacher? Or engineer vs. journalism? College professor vs. someone who's trying to start a company, with various financial start-up problems/instability...but long-term potential?
LittlePrince Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I know we use "janitors" as the prime example of a lowpaying job that a lot of people don't respect. But it's rather extreme for this scenario. How about more realistic discrepancies like doctor vs. teacher? Or engineer vs. journalism? College professor vs. someone who's trying to start a company, with various financial start-up problems/instability...but long-term potential? Yani the Yanitor needs love too.
Author Serendipity1122 Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 Yani the Yanitor needs love too. Troll. :/ Nothing against janitors, but they're only a small part of the overall dating population. Maybe some serious speculation?
LittlePrince Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 First, you confused image that I was referring to with self-image. Second, ambition only matters in how it is perceived by others especially when it comes to attraction.
jobaba Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Guys, would you be intimidated by a girl who went to a more esteemed college than you (ie. ivy league vs. state college..yes, it's bull, but some people get pulled into the stereotype)? Or a girl who had a much better (aka more prestigious and well-paying job) than you? Let's suppose that this girl has a good personality and is good-looking, and you're attracted to those parts of her. Usually, being smart and having earning power is also a plus. But would you hesitate or reconsider making the moves on her if she seemed out of your league? Money and education are 2 different things. You can play the politics of work right or happen to be doing well in an entrepreneurial venture and make great money with just a bachelors degree or less. I am intimidated by some women, but they'd have to be pretty far up. For instance, I wouldn't be intimidated by someone with just an MD, but somebody who is a radiologist or anesthesiologist, yes. I wouldn't be intimidated by an attorney, but somebody who went to Stanford law, yes. My ex will soon have a doctorate so that doesn't intimidate me. I've thought of doing a doctorate myself. As far as school prestige, my undergrad has a great rep. So only the biggest and most arrogant snobs from the top half of the Ivies would discount me based on that. That said, I wouldn't operate in the reverse. I could care less what school a woman went or how much less she made so long as she was ambitious and driven to an extent. 1
GirlontheLam Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I like people who are ambitious like me. But it is tricky on the whole $$/education thing. I have definitely have had people back away when they found out where I went to college. I think they have a perception that I maybe more "elitist" than I am. But in reality I am looking for intellectual curiosity and ambition. I really don't care if you went to a "top tier" school. It is annoying. (Combine this with the fact I tend to attract younger men!) 1
carhill Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Would guys be intimidated by a girl who earned more money? No, but it's rarely an issue in my area as women here don't date down socio-economically. Social circles vet prospective dates and everyone's social status is generally known. What I've found is that, if one's status isn't obvious, it's generally discounted. That has worked pretty well over the years. Nowadays, with the internet, people's careers and social statuses can be more easily qualified, so any lack of feeling intimidated would be largely irrelevant to the equation as those ladies who see lesser earning/lesser status men as 'lesser' humans will never appear upon the event horizon. I like that.
Author Serendipity1122 Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 First, you confused image that I was referring to with self-image. Second, ambition only matters in how it is perceived by others especially when it comes to attraction. You'd think the people around you, or at least the people who mattered and you wanted in your life, would take into account other factors than just basic stats (college, job, salary) to measure image and ambition. Hard work, drive, intellectual curiosity, upward potential. Am I being too optimistic?
LittlePrince Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 In this culture, people identify themselves and are identified by their job. Hobbies, interests, and other dimensions take a back seat.
Author Serendipity1122 Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 I like people who are ambitious like me. But it is tricky on the whole $$/education thing. I have definitely have had people back away when they found out where I went to college. I think they have a perception that I maybe more "elitist" than I am. But in reality I am looking for intellectual curiosity and ambition. I really don't care if you went to a "top tier" school. It is annoying. (Combine this with the fact I tend to attract younger men!) This. As someone who went to a top 10 school, a private no less, I feel like people assume that I come from money and am after money, status, privilege, and all that. As in I must only mingle with that specific class of people. While those things can be nice, that's the not the stuff happiness is made of. Corny, I know. But the more they believe the hype, the more you start to believe it. Funny how that works. Will guys really back away from pursuing girls for this reason? Is that really a handicap? 1
jobaba Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 This. As someone who went to a top 10 school, a private no less, I feel like people assume that I come from money and am after money, status, privilege, and all that. As in I must only mingle with that specific class of people. While those things can be nice, that's the not the stuff happiness is made of. Corny, I know. But the more they believe the hype, the more you start to believe it. Funny how that works. Will guys really back away from pursuing girls for this reason? Is that really a handicap? Duke or Northwestern?
carhill Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 intimated? As used within the relevant passage: Nowadays, with the internet, people's careers and social statuses can be more easily qualified, so any lack of feeling intimidated would be largely irrelevant to the equation as those ladies who see lesser earning/lesser status men as 'lesser' humans will never appear upon the event horizon. the usage is the word I intended it to be.
kaylan Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 It's hard to be in love with a man that you don't respect. It's hard to respect a man if you see him as less capable than yourself. Did you ever stop to think that this is why your almost 35 and still single? Say I make about 85k USD per year doing a tech job....Im not going to think a woman is less capable than I if she happens to make 50k USD teaching. I think your problem is you sit on a high perch and look down on some men. And it will keep you alone. Oh wells.
MrCastle Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I don't care if she made more, I would think though, that she might care.
Author Serendipity1122 Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 Duke or Northwestern? Close. It's an ivy, but one of the lesser known ones. If I can only date up, that gives me a fairly limited dating pool. And one filled with a lot of snobs who think they're smarter than they actually are, or guys who aren't looking for relationships because they're one track minded. Of course, there are exceptions, some of whom I've befriended. This is why you don't follow rules.
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