Serendipity1122 Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Nowadays, guys and girls are more or less supposed to be equals. Keyword: supposed to be. Girls can chase if they want. Some guys are letting the girls bring home the dough and playing house husband. Still, there are some guys who don't want to feel inferior to their girlfriend and would feel less confident/"manly" as a result. My guy friends put it as such: what would such a girl ever see in me? what can I do for her? I'd think she was fooling around with me (ie. not looking at something serious) or using me to boost her self-esteem. She can probably easily find someone more at her level. Guys, would you be intimidated by a girl who went to a more esteemed college than you (ie. ivy league vs. state college..yes, it's bull, but some people get pulled into the stereotype)? Or a girl who had a much better (aka more prestigious and well-paying job) than you? Let's suppose that this girl has a good personality and is good-looking, and you're attracted to those parts of her. Usually, being smart and having earning power is also a plus. But would you hesitate or reconsider making the moves on her if she seemed out of your league?
NoMoreJerks Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I think so... my ex made just a bit less money than I did, and I am a PhD student. Granted, I make more money than many if not most PhD students, but still. I think deep down he felt kinda bitter and emasculated. But he did talk about how he felt his salary should be higher, so it's not like he felt *that* uncomfortable about me making more money than he did. I don't know. I think for my ex, it was both a good and a bad thing. Bad in the sense that it kinda eroded his ego. Good in the sense that he didn't have to worry about me using him financially / digging his "gold." I also demonstrated total financial independence from him, paying for my meals most of the time, and even paying for both of us a lot of the time. I think that may have made him feel a bit awkward and emasculated, though. In hindsight, I should not have done that. :S 2
kaylan Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 (edited) Im not intimidated by it. It is what it is. Surround yourself with guys who live in the 21st century, not the mid 20th century. PS - NoMoreJerks...spend your money as you like. I personally welcome a chick who can go 50/50 in a partnership. And your right, it would make many guys feel less worried about a girl being after our cash. I wouldnt feel emasculated by you having your own successful career and financial independence. Edited October 9, 2012 by kaylan 1
musemaj11 Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Women cannot respect men who are less than them in social and financial status. Its just inherent instinct. A study shows that marriages in which the women make more money are a lot more likely to break down because over time the women cannot help but losing interest in their husbands. We simply cannot fight nature.
oaks Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 We simply cannot fight nature. Money is such a natural phenomenon, don't you think? 1
musemaj11 Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Having a more successful woman taking interest can definitely be exhilarating because I can be sure that she truly loves me and has no materialistic motives. But the downside is that the moment a more successful guy who is at her level financially and socially comes along, she would be far more likely to disappear in a blink of an eye.
threebyfate Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Do people actually trumpet their salaries prior to a long-term commitment?
oaks Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Do people actually trumpet their salaries prior to a long-term commitment? I don't. My last gf earned more than me, but I know this largely because she had a job and I didn't rather than by comparing payslips. 1
darkmoon Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 i've known women with money who had boyfs who conned them out of it - men can seek/like a woman with money (and vice versa)
musemaj11 Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 i've known women with money who had boyfs who conned them out of it - men can seek/like a woman with money (and vice versa) Chances are these women are undesireables (fat/single mom/ugly). Women with options would pick the wealthiest choice every time as long as he is not extremely physically unttractive.
threebyfate Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I don't. My last gf earned more than me, but I know this largely because she had a job and I didn't rather than by comparing payslips.Understandable in your situation. While people can ballpark, the last thing I'd do is to tell a dating partner this type of private business. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 For me it's unthinkable to even be in a relationship without disclosing everything, including salaries. Not bragging or comparing payslips but it usually comes up in conversation...including how much our houses are worth etc etc. I never cared much about money, so it's not a taboo topic at all. 1
ascendotum Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 On simply the $ alone, if she earned more then no, however the bigger the gap, then there is more possibility I could. I would probably feel more intimidated if she earned more AND bragged about how responsible her job was often or made snide remarks how she's the breadwinner.
kaylan Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 (edited) Women cannot respect men who are less than them in social and financial status. Its just inherent instinct. A study shows that marriages in which the women make more money are a lot more likely to break down because over time the women cannot help but losing interest in their husbands. We simply cannot fight nature. Do present this study. Im skeptical, especially considering that which defines status varies across cultures and subcultures. Not to mention financial status being a social construct.Chances are these women are undesireables (fat/single mom/ugly). Women with options would pick the wealthiest choice every time as long as he is not extremely physically unttractive. I think plenty of women can tell you this is false. Thats like saying guys choose the hottest girl every time. Lemme tell you something, Id say I have options, and that on an empirical level, the hottest girl Ive slept with was a fling from last year. And by empirical, Im saying most people would consider her the sexiest girl Ive bedded. She was def a looker. However, the hottest sex Ive had, and the girl Ive found the hottest from my point of view, was my ex girlfriend. And Id always choose her to date over the fling chick because we clicked so well mentally. Dont discount how many women want someone they can click with. Money doesnt provide you with a real connection. Edited October 9, 2012 by kaylan
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Women cannot respect men who are less than them in social and financial status. Its just inherent instinct. A study shows that marriages in which the women make more money are a lot more likely to break down because over time the women cannot help but losing interest in their husbands. We simply cannot fight nature. This is true for me I am afraid. Of course small differences are no biggie. But if a man earned a lot less than I did, I am quick to lose attraction.
darkmoon Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Chances are these women are undesireables (fat/single mom/ugly). Women with options would pick the wealthiest choice every time as long as he is not extremely physically unttractive. beauty is in the eye of the beholder
LittlePrince Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I don't meet such women so it isn't a problem but those kind of women are more likely to cheat or move on. They aren't good for the sake of stability.
Pyro Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 (edited) Still, there are some guys who don't want to feel inferior to their girlfriend and would feel less confident/"manly" as a result. My guy friends put it as such: what would such a girl ever see in me? what can I do for her? I'd think she was fooling around with me (ie. not looking at something serious) or using me to boost her self-esteem. She can probably easily find someone more at her level. Guys, would you be intimidated by a girl who went to a more esteemed college than you (ie. ivy league vs. state college..yes, it's bull, but some people get pulled into the stereotype)? Or a girl who had a much better (aka more prestigious and well-paying job) than you? Let's suppose that this girl has a good personality and is good-looking, and you're attracted to those parts of her. Usually, being smart and having earning power is also a plus. But would you hesitate or reconsider making the moves on her if she seemed out of your league? You answered your own question. Yes there are some guys out there intimidated by such. Me personally I would not. Women don't frighten me. Edited October 9, 2012 by Pyro
Oxy Moronovich Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 If guys are intimidated by women who make more than them, then rich female celebrities wouldn't have regular guys oggling them. A mechanic I know has a huge thing for the redheaded chick from Mad Men. Someone needs to tell him to stop getting such a hard-on for her because she makes more than he does.
EasyHeart Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 As I've said before, I'm way more concerned about a woman's out-go than her income. Most of the high income women I've met (and a lot of the lower income women, too) are obsessed with having gigantic houses, luxury cars, overpriced clothing, only going to "fashionable" restaurants, etc. That sort of lifestyle isn't for me, so most of those women aren't for me either.
LittlePrince Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 As I've said before, I'm way more concerned about a woman's out-go than her income. Most of the high income women I've met (and a lot of the lower income women, too) are obsessed with having gigantic houses, luxury cars, overpriced clothing, only going to "fashionable" restaurants, etc. That sort of lifestyle isn't for me, so most of those women aren't for me either. and those women see the man's income as their personal piggy bank especially to cover all necessities. It isn't like men need money.
ascendotum Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Women cannot respect men who are less than them in social and financial status. Its just inherent instinct. A study shows that marriages in which the women make more money are a lot more likely to break down because over time the women cannot help but losing interest in their husbands. We simply cannot fight nature. Actually, I really suspect it would be a bigger issue for women, than it would for men, along these lines ^. I don't have any study to include here, but just going from observations and listening to women over the years (Gen-X). I've known a few marriages bust up when the wife has pulled away from the husband in career & status, then pulled away emotionally, though its hard to know for sure from both parties account of events who had the bigger issue over it.
LittlePrince Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 More money tends to mean less time. Without time you can't have a relationship.
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 It's hard to be in love with a man that you don't respect. It's hard to respect a man if you see him as less capable than yourself.
LittlePrince Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 It's hard to be in love with a man that you don't respect. It's hard to respect a man if you see him as less capable than yourself. and when you think that way about every man.....
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