Series of Rebounds?

[Drublood]

My recent relationship has left me asking a lot of questions about myself. Probably like most people do. My story starts here...I met this woman when I was 21, she was 20 years older then me. For almost 5 years we seen each other twice a week. It wasn't a normal relationship, we weren't all cuddly, kissy, hold hands in public...etc. I didn't even tell this woman I loved her until she became very ill and died.

 

 

She died in March 28th of 2011. Which is a few days before my birthday, I was born on April 1st. Soon after that I started seeing another woman which lasted 8 months, never put in any emotional attachment. I started talking to another woman during this relationship.

 

I ended up cheating on the girlfriend at the time with the new woman. Days after that I began a relationship with this other woman. It was good for a month, we were cuddly, kissy, held hands in public, etc...Told each other we loved each other too soon. I detached myself from the relationship as well as she did due to certain situations. I've come to realize I was in love with the idea of this woman, rather then her. She broke up with me and soon got back with her ex. Who's she's still with.

 

2 weeks after the break up, I began talking to another woman, who again, I ended up in a relationship with for 6 months. I put in little emotional attachment. After 4 months she told me she loved me. She had been in a previous relationship that was abusive for 4 years. At 5 months of the relationship she began to talk about having a future with me. I detached myself and pulled back extremely at this point. Looking for any reason I could. Our 6th month anniversary we spent the day together, she skipped school and took me out to eat. I never acknowledged the anniversary. A few days later she broke up with me.

 

 

 

All three of these relationships were rebounds, my friends and family told me they were but I didn't listen. The last two relationships we were both on the rebound. I felt so torn and lost after the last two relationships, because I felt I loved them but i'm not so sure I did now. Has anyone ever been through something like this? Was I running from my problems? Was the past doomed to repeat itself? Any input or similar stories are welcome.