Mount Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I am kind of regretting that my willness that participated in the A. Previously myself and the MM were very good colleagues at work, and I have to admit that I do have the crush on him that is why I liked to talk to him a lot. Obviously the MM felt that, and nowadays he told me he was attracted to me as well, but never thought I was interested to him as he's married. So back in May he asked me if I would like to "see" him, involved with him, and I agree. So that is where I am now. Were yours all starting the same?
veryhappy Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 (edited) No. I barely interacted with my exMM, our lives barely intersect (as in at this point I made sure they never will at all). I took five months to research affairs and read on the subject of falling in love after deciding I was interested in having an A with him. I waited for the infatuation to go away, and tried hard to stay away. I approached him and asked him if he was interested. I insisted he took some time to think about it, he would have probably met the next day. I refused to see him for more than a week, but I think nothing would have changed his mind after me approaching him. That seems to have a strong effect on men. At the time, I was paralized with anxiety, wondering if he likes me or not, and how to deal with rejection. It was very hard to take the step. Have you asked your MM if he's had other As? He seems too easy about it. I can tell you that both I and exMM were so shaky, nervous and trying to figure things out that I doubt anyone in their first A would be cool and confident. Edited October 9, 2012 by cutedragon
RickFox Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 xMW asked me if I wanted to have lunch, I agreed, she told me she thought I was hot and I told her I felt the same. She said we could skip the lunch since we both found each other attractive and it went off from there. She started it, she ended it.
Author Mount Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 Guess the scripts from MW or MM were the same, my MM was always asking me to have coffee run, lunch...etc whilst I like to talk to him a lot (obviously~~). Rick - how long your A lasted? xMW asked me if I wanted to have lunch, I agreed, she told me she thought I was hot and I told her I felt the same. She said we could skip the lunch since we both found each other attractive and it went off from there. She started it, she ended it.
SecretFlower Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I'd say it was pretty mutual when we first began an affair. Granted, we were both really young and didn't really realize that we were entering into a relationship or affair. I don't know. I guess he made the first move.
RickFox Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Guess the scripts from MW or MM were the same, my MM was always asking me to have coffee run, lunch...etc whilst I like to talk to him a lot (obviously~~). Rick - how long your A lasted? We were 'friends' for a bit over a year, our kids go to the same school, we hung out all the time and shortly after that year, it began, the physical aspect lasted for three months or so before dday.
Author Mount Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 I would like to know as well, since I have difficulty now to pull myself out. Wow, not many OW research affairs before having an affair. Did you have any notion of how affairs end?[/QUOTE]
RickFox Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 The concept of directly asking someone to have an affair. The stereotype of affairs is that the romance simply happens without a formal request to engage in an affair. Xmw said "let's have fun with this and see where it goes.". She later said she was falling for me and I let my wall down. Ever the fool eh
Summer Breeze Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 We had some mutual friends and business acquaintances. I knew some members of his family so for a few years we were in each others radar but nothing more than just that. We crossed paths several times over a year and he contacted me a couple of times through that year. He eventually said he wanted to take me to dinner. It started some frank talks about As and I did a whole lot of thinking. I set down my boundaries with the thoughts he'd never get involved because I basically came across as the OW from He11. He initiated it and where he didn't really chase me it was odd he was at a few things he had never been to before. I was extremely cautious and now that he's D I'm probably even more cautious TBH.
Got it Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 It was pretty mutual for us, you could feel the sparks. We worked together, he kept asking if I was going to a happy hour which seemed pretty clear he was interested. I was the one that just bluntly asked "is there something going on between us". And then it started.
wanting more Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 We worked together for 3 years. Traveled for work, went to dinner, had too many drinks and ..........
RAN65 Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 (edited) The Posts I have replied are not here sorry. Moderator delete this post Edited October 9, 2012 by RAN65
j'adore Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 We were thrown together at various social circles, just drawn together like magnets. Nothing but good conversation and having a joke and really really just laughing. Neither of us realised how strong it was until we were alone several months later and we kissed.......and cuddled (nothing else) all I can say is that it was the most powerful moment of my life AND HIS. Both of us admitted that we could not stop thinking about the other and it just would not go away, I have never felt drawn to someone like that before in my life and I am not without experience. 1
Marcy33309 Posted October 10, 2012 Posted October 10, 2012 We met in a bar and I didn't know he was married. Of course after I found out he was married, that didn't stop me.
sleepie Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 We knew each other socially. Saw each other maybe 4 times a year at social events. Maybe an underlying chemistry, but no real sparks. Innocent email conversation turned to flirty. xMOM told me he was falling for me. That was the beginning. He definitely pursued me.
Radagast Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 She did. She was very drunk, I was with friends at the bar. They were laughing at her because she was far gone and looked rather the worse for wear. I felt sorry for her and asked if she was OK. She told me all about her horrible marriage and how she was afraid to go home and she started crying. I offered her a place to stay over for the night and offered her my bed and I would sleep on the couch, but she started crying again and told me she was frightened to sleep alone and asked me to sleep in the bed with her. It was a single bed (I was very young) and in the night she started pawing me and I got no sleep. In the morning she did not want to leave, she begged me to have sex with her, she could not face the rejection and in the end I did. She asked if she could see me again and I said yes. I did not think it was serious until she moved in with me when her husband kicked her out.
Radagast Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 You better be nice to her at all times. You seem to enjoy the rescuer role. I was a mere child. I outgrew it. And her. We divorced several years ago.
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