What do you think a serious relationship is?

[V1nom]

Hello.

 

Me and my girlfriend been going out for about 4 months now, few people asked us if we have a serious relationship. I'm 18 years old and she is 16 years old. I'm not like most teens who want to have sex with every body they see / have sex 24/7.

 

We both are virgins and don't really care for sex (Relationship isn't just about sex), plus we are want to wait/save our self's til marriage. We have talked about moving into a apartment together when we are done with school/ready for that (I'm a Senior in high school, she is a Jr in high school.) We also talked/discuss our future together. We both trust, open, and honest with each other. We rarely argue/have fights, but if we do we don't walk out of the room we sit down and talk about it and try to solve the issue. I don't cheat, don't flirt with other girls or stare/look at other girls. We don't play mind games with each other. We both agree we found that special someone. She says I have the same mind as she does, I do agree she has the same mind as me.

[CptObvious]

Are you getting laid? No? Well **** son, it ain't serious at all.

[Ninjainpajamas]

Sounds serious for your age yes...except the sex.

 

I'll be honest with you V1nom, not that I want you gunning for the panties because everything seems good so far and you're really getting to know each other...however sex for women is a whole other thing than it is for men. They become way more emotional and attached (typically...you can bank on it basically unless she's got some major issues) and that takes the relationship to a whole other level.

 

So It's great you're being responsible and taking it seriously and trying to hold onto it and keep it special...It's unfortunate that a lot of people don't make that choice. However realize that what you know about love and relationships is itty bitty compared to the big picture...you're really just in the beginning and learning phases, right now life is so simple and revolves around schooling...trust me, as an adult It's a completely different situation, you're not at the age yet where a real relationship develops yet because you don't know about yourselves enough to even make that assessment.

 

It's good that you have this relationship and bonding however, and I'm sure you are extremely confident in what you have and feel it is true love...but take it from someone older and wiser than you who's been around the love bend more than a few times...this is normal. Don't go and start making these huge decisions just yet, give yourself some time, don't rush in...what is the reason? you set the stakes really high when you do that...It's like saying you're going to be a spaceship when you haven't even built one out of popsicle sticks.

 

Marriage, living together, apartment = big deal! especially for a young guy such as yourself.

 

I know you're on a roll and have your mind made up and aren't likely going to take anyone telling you different...i get that, but trust me, all that crap doesn't come until later...right now life is very very simple, It'll never be this simple again so just enjoy what you have and learn from this experience before you start making big declarations of love and commitment...I know it feels that way, but there's so much more that you don't yet understand...I could spend ages and ages trying to explain it to you and you'd probably look at me with a blank stare or say "oh yeah yeah I know about that...we're good on that I'm not worried".

 

I agree that you've both found someone special, what you have seems to be going very well and you're in the right direction. Four months seems like a lot but It's really just a drop in the bucket, the first year will even be great or should be. Give yourself some time, take baby steps, It's just like anything else...when you haven't done it before and have limited experience you don't bite off more than you chew right? and slow and steady wins the race right?

 

So come up with a plan, take it slow...hell If you want to really dive in and move together live and learn...but you're going to need jobs, a downpayment, she's going to need to be on birth control (if you're not religious or anything which you may be) and you'll likely need a co-signer.

 

Get help from older wiser people in your family, don't just drop off and do your own thing If you can...you're going to need assistance somewhere along the way...think about things like adults, look at it from all angles and take all things into considerations...unfortunately there's just going to be a lot of things you won't see or even think about because of your youth...but take it in steps, the longer this relationship lasts the more you're going to start to understand this as well as you get older and more experienced...but it'll take a while.