irc333 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 I just heard another story (from a real life person) about "How my boyfriend pursued me, until I gave in!" Never seen the logic in that, but she said...in most cases that wouldn't be advisable...however, she said "If she's worth it, she's worth fighting for." What makes a woman worth fighting for, just to get them to go on a date with you?
Author irc333 Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 I hate to say it, I am seeing this as VERY much a common thing among my circle of friends. If I did it, I'd wind up with a restraining order. lol
PJKino Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 If a women tells me no thats all i need to hear im done with her..ill never get somebdoy who'd say F my dignity im gonna keep bothering this girl till she breaks.. 2
SpiralOut Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 I think that's really disrespectful. A guy pursued me for years. He was only able to get me once he saw that I was getting lonely. He even made a comment about that. After a couple of dates, that was it. It didn't last. He was an ass. If a woman says no it's for a reason. It's because she knows it would be a bad idea to do it. It might work out for some people, I guess. But for some reason I just don't like a guy who doesn't understand the word no.
xxoo Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 I think it would need to be a situation where the person has a reason to say no, but clearly is interested and enjoys spending time with you. AND you enjoy spending time with them, without getting resentful before the "yes". So, for example, if the person recently divorced, or doesn't think you are compatible for some reason, but you are still great friends and have sexual tension, I can see it happening. But if you annoy her, no way. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 It is most likely a serious waste of time, even if it has worked out in a few cases. 2
EasyHeart Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 It can work in situations where you're in the same social circle or have some other reason to constantly encounter each other. Over time, the other person might realize that they had the wrong impression about you. It will never work with OLD or cold approaches or any other situation in which you are artificially put together.
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 This guy at my church likes me and he is kind of like that.. He constantly asks me out and constantly talks to me etc... And I keep ignoring him and turning him down nicely because I am uninterested in him. I think that's kind of weird to just stalk someone down and just wear them down until they go out with you. It wouldn't work with me, but it does for some.
LittlePrince Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I just heard another story (from a real life person) about "How my boyfriend pursued me, until I gave in!" Never seen the logic in that, but she said...in most cases that wouldn't be advisable...however, she said "If she's worth it, she's worth fighting for." What makes a woman worth fighting for, just to get them to go on a date with you? Instinctively women look for the most dominant male they think they can keep.
johan Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 It will definitely work if you aren't far from her type and she discovers something she really likes about you in the process. You can win a girl over that way. You can tell right away, if you're sensitive enough, whether an opening like that exists. If your strategy is to persistently show her things she doesn't like over and over until her resistance breaks down, forget about it. You need to be perceptive enough to know, early on, that she's not liking you more but less, and it's only going to go downhill.
johan Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Instinctively women look for the most dominant male they think they can keep. I think there's some truth to that. But women aren't driven only by instinct. Some women may be more than others. No more than men are. Also, pursuing isn't really a sign of dominant behavior as often as it is obsessive and a little scary. In a minority of cases, the guy does it because he "knows what he wants, and he knows how to get it."
LittlePrince Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 It will definitely work if you aren't far from her type and she discovers something she really likes about you in the process. You can win a girl over that way. You can tell right away, if you're sensitive enough, whether an opening like that exists. If your strategy is to persistently show her things she doesn't like over and over until her resistance breaks down, forget about it. You need to be perceptive enough to know, early on, that she's not liking you more but less, and it's only going to go downhill. The brute force approach requires no insight. That's why it is so brilliant. Even a caveman could use it. It can work on anyone.
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I just heard another story (from a real life person) about "How my boyfriend pursued me, until I gave in!" Never seen the logic in that, but she said...in most cases that wouldn't be advisable...however, she said "If she's worth it, she's worth fighting for." What makes a woman worth fighting for, just to get them to go on a date with you? I think these women just settle. 2
LittlePrince Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I think these women just settle. Maybe there comes a time to settle down.
johan Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 The brute force approach requires no insight. That's why it is so brilliant. Even a caveman could use it. It can work on anyone. Talk to any girl and ask her how many "persistent" guys she ended up dating compared to the number who still annoyingly hover around or thankfully gave up at some point. It isn't brute force that works. It's finding small openings, testing boundaries, and knowing when to back off and give some space, and when to return for more. The kind of persistence that wins is more a type of seduction. That's what they ultimately give in to. Brute force and seduction are pretty much opposites. 4
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Talk to any girl and ask her how many "persistent" guys she ended up dating compared to the number who still annoyingly hover around or thankfully gave up at some point. It isn't brute force that works. It's finding small openings, testing boundaries, and knowing when to back off and give some space, and when to return for more. The kind of persistence that wins is more a type of seduction. That's what they ultimately give in to. Brute force and seduction are pretty much opposites. This is true for me. With some men, there might be some attraction but there is something that holds me back. It's up to the man to read between the lines.
Els Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Talk to any girl and ask her how many "persistent" guys she ended up dating compared to the number who still annoyingly hover around or thankfully gave up at some point. It isn't brute force that works. It's finding small openings, testing boundaries, and knowing when to back off and give some space, and when to return for more. The kind of persistence that wins is more a type of seduction. That's what they ultimately give in to. Brute force and seduction are pretty much opposites. Quoted VERY MUCH for truth. 'Not giving up easily' and 'pursuing via incessant brute force' are two completely different things. To provide a RL example, there used to be a 'friend' who pursued me the way a hungry puppy pursues someone with a slab of meat in his hand... Not very attractive! He texted me constantly, got mad when I didn't answer him immediately, hounded me EVERY TIME he saw me and constantly tried to get my other friends to convince me to take him. FFS. I was too young to know how to enforce my boundaries at the time other than repeatedly telling him "I'm not interested!", so I let it carry on until one day when I couldn't take it any longer and blew up at him. And no, I wasn't 'choosing someone else' over him, I was single at the time but would much rather have been single than take him. Any chance he would ever have had was completely and irrevocably destroyed by his 'incessant pursuit'. On the other hand, the bf courted me for a good few months, in a subtle manner that I didn't even realize until he confessed to what he had done. Doing little nice things for me, finding out what made me tick and then plotting ways to insert those in our daily interactions and conversations, scheming up opportunities to be together, and NOT being needy or brute-forcing. By the time he asked me out, I was already a good way into liking him but not knowing if I should broach the issue, so the answer was definite.
LittlePrince Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 This is true for me. With some men, there might be some attraction but there is something that holds me back. It's up to the man to read between the lines. Yes, it is the male's responsibility to produce something from nothing, violate all laws on conservation of matter, energy, etc., and pull a rabbit out of a hat. From all the information you have submitted and the computations run on this vast array of data we have determined your best match is...calculating....calculating....loading....The Wizard of Oz.
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 OP, if you are interested; there is a good book called "The Art of Seduction".
jobaba Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 A friend of mine pursued a woman for 10 years. She had no initial interest, and he chased until she started to cave a little. Then, she left the country and got married and had a child with another man. He continued to chase, and 10 years later, he got her. Went to the wedding earlier this year. I also have another friend who chased a woman who had no interest for the same amount of time. She used to do embarrassing stuff to him, like have him do little chores for her while never giving in. But I think eventually he will get her. Again, this is AFTER 10 YEARS. I think it makes for a great story. But as for myself, I have more pride than that. Doing that kind of thing also makes for more heartbreak than is worth I think.
LittlePrince Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 OP, if you are interested; there is a good book called "The Art of Seduction". Does it involve dancing with fans and veils?
Anela Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Does it involve dancing with fans and veils? Would you try it, if it did?
LittlePrince Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Would you try it, if it did? Only if I get to wear a suit covered in wobbling, erect phalluses so my intentions would be known.
grkBoy Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I just heard another story (from a real life person) about "How my boyfriend pursued me, until I gave in!" Never seen the logic in that, but she said...in most cases that wouldn't be advisable...however, she said "If she's worth it, she's worth fighting for." What makes a woman worth fighting for, just to get them to go on a date with you? First off...I'm in agreement with many here. NO ONE is worth tossing your dignity out the window for. I'd personally would rather grow old and die alone before lowering myself to chase and chase and "convince" a woman or "work on" a woman to give me a shot. I did variations of that in my "doormat nice guy" days, and I regret every time. There was no "happy ending", just another flake who vanishes or headcase who falls apart. If a man or woman can't see what's in front of them, and yet they complain to death how they can't find someone, then they deserve to be alone. I wish more guys would stop turning into spineless pu$$!3$ to get a girl. It's funnier even lately how many big buff hunky "alpha male" types I see who do this now. Second, I tend to have a hard time believing these stories anymore. Seeing some who tell a grandiose story of how they met, but then later edit it down to a more tame story...thus showing me they embellished facts to make a nice story. It's like people who met on OLD lying and claiming they met while on a trip or in some random encounter. I think if men want to be men then they should accept the "no" and move on quickly. Let the women who believe they have plenty of options wake up one morning with no options they want ("All the guys I like won't commit and all the guys who will commit are ugly!")
Recommended Posts