spaniard Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 (edited) There is so much pain and suffering on this forum - as it is supposed to be of course -, so I felt that it would do no harm if I opened a little more positive topic. I really don't want to bore you with the story of how my girlfriend dumped me, because we here all went through more or less the same sad things. And I don't want you to be disgusted by human nature. (For the record: I never understood why some people have to be so cruel after a break up. It's okay if you don't love someone anymore... but why is it necessary to be cruel, cold, why it is necessary to humiliate someone you even loved a few months before the break up?) Anyway, after she told me that she had absolutely no feelings for me, I decided to go on NC immediately. It has been an awfully tough road. The first weeks were extremely hard, I even lost 10 kgs (22 pounds) in a short period of time. I tried to act like a man who can deal with any pain, but it wasn't the best idea - you indeed have to go through the mourning period. I even cried a little which I had not done for 5 years. But I decided I had to move on. I decided that I was strong enough to bear the pain and I KNEW that it would go away. The no contact is the best and only way to protect yourself from the bad news that would otherwise reach you anyway. I started a whole lot of new activities which have been extremely helpful. There have been a lot of ups and downs, but week by week there are less and less downs. And now, after 2,5 months, I have to say that I'm doing fine. I'm not over her. I still think a lot about her. But it's so much better than, say, a month ago. I just see that light at the end of the tunnel. I know it will be over soon. I don't even check her FB page, because I don't care anymore and I don't feel I want to do it. I socialize a lot. I have met a whole lot of new people, on Wednesday I'm going to a house party where there will be a lot of hot girls. Maybe I'm even ready for the dating game! It's just good, man. That's all I wanted to share. Be positive. Actively try to heal. I even avoid topics that are about long suffering (1+ year). I don't want to suffer anymore. Honestly, I think noone really deserves the pain of an unrequited love, but if you can see the break up as a chance for self-improvement, you can turn this sh*t into a pretty exciting experience. But I'm absolutely sure that I could ruin all the achievements with one single text message or a phone call. Stick to NC at all costs. So good luck for you and I hope with all my heart that these difficult times will be soon over... for all of us. Edited October 8, 2012 by spaniard 3
Million.to.1 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Well done you. I'm glad that SOME people here actually listen to the advice of N/C and have positive results from applying it. It really does help get you there quicker.
Author spaniard Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 I'm glad that SOME people here actually listen to the advice of N/C and have positive results from applying it. It really does help get you there quicker. I couldn't agree more! However, N/C is only one thing. It does help and it is definitely the most important passive tool in our "armory", but as someone wrote in another comment, it's only a protective bubble that keeps you from all the negative news and most of the pain. To move on you must try to heal actively like doing sports, meeting friends etc. I think they are both essential in the healing process
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