Serendipity1122 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 I had to move out of state for work, right as I was developing feelings for him. I plan on moving back eventually (a couple months-a year). I let him know about my feelings, but he hasn't done anything about it yet. Is his silence the answer? Or can I contact him first while we're apart without seeming desperate? We're old high school classmates/acquaintances. We were in different states for college, but reconnected through mutual friends and got closer after hanging out for a couple months. We flirted casually, ate dinner, watched a movie, hiked, just us two. Saw it as just having fun with a friend at first, but started thinking it could be something more. We had good chemistry, similar interests, thoughtful conversation, etc. Too soon to pursue anything serious, but I decided to be straightforward about my feelings. I gave him a bday card encouraging him with his career goals, telling him I was glad we'd gotten closer, I'd miss him, and I'd see him during the holidays. I ended with the confession: I knew there were a lot of factors that'd come into play, but I wanted to keep it simple, and I liked him. Pretty lighthearted. He can be passive and not as aggressive/forward with girls, so I thought I could initiate as long as he gives something as well. He seemed enthusiastic about keeping up the conversation the one time I initiated. I don't want to play games, but supposedly if a guy's interested, he'll do something about it. So is it okay for me to keep initiating (and how often), or should I wait for him to take the next step? Should I cut off communication until I actually see him again, or is innocent chatting okay and helpful at this point? 2
InJest Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 He's probably not interested in starting a relationship that would already be long distance. Very few people would be. 1
Author Serendipity1122 Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 Yeah, I assumed as much. I'm not ready for an ldr either, and I'm making new friends here as well. But would casually keeping in touch be awkward at this point now that he's aware of my feelings? Should I just forget about him until I actually move back?
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 If a guy doesn't have the courage to ask a woman out or initiate things he's either not interested or he's not someone most women would want to date in the first place. Let him come to you. If he doesn't then you're better off.
phineas Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 If you told him straight up you liked him & he hasn't contacted you then forget about him until you are at least living in the same town. I wouldn't do long distance myself. 1
Author Serendipity1122 Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 Indeed, timing is important. Finding that to be truer by the day. Call me a hopeless romantic, but hoping "If it's meant to be, it'll happen." I'll put this on the backburner for now, but oh how hard it is to not think about him. We have so much fun together. His last words to me before I left were: Him: See you soon. Me: Soon?? Him: As soon as possible! His ignoring the topic seems as if he thinks my feelings might change over time/while I'm away, or...we're so far apart, so there's no point in doing anything about it, even if he might feel the same way. I don't really know, there's no way of knowing, but I guess it doesn't matter huh. Past is past, future is future. All I can do is focus on the present and make the best of it.
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