Feeling so lost

[AbigailArcane]

I am new here and really needing some input. I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years. Almost two months ago, he asked if I thought we should take a break. This past summer wasn't our best. We were fighting a lot. I told him while I didn't want to give up on us, that if that's what he wanted I would respect it. This did not last. Four days later after hearing from him multiple times on the phone and text, we decided to give it another go. It felt like for the better part of our relationship, especially when we first got together he was completely into me. That's not to say I didn't feel the same, but I am not one to fall quickly. There were times I wondered if we were moving too fast. You see I have been in nursing school plus working, and I didn't want to move in with him or entertain marriage until I had that out of the way. He had asked me to move in and while I never completely moved in, I was living there part time. Nursing school is quite intense and I haven't been able to be there like I want to be. Anyway, since we decided to give it another go, I really wanted to give it my all. I love him and considered him my best friend. I must have had blinders on because he told me he needed space a few days ago. It wasn't until then that I looked back and saw since we decided to keep trying, that he wasn't trying at all. In fact he had been downright mean at times. Now I'm not an idiot. I wasn't purposely ignoring the signs. I guess I was thinking we'd come out of it and things wold improve. Today I went and got my things. It was so hard but I wouldn't allow myself to cry or be mean. I couldn't be friendly either. Just wanted to get it over with. I sit here and feel sadness like never before. I am not going to contact him. I can't be his friend. At least not anytime soon. I just want the pain to stop. Thankfully I have school and work which keeps me busy. I wish i could go back and make things different. But I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want me. I deserve better. This message is all over the place. I just feeling so lost. I know I'm not perfect but I loved him and thought we would end up together. I guess all I am asking is why do we feel like we are unworthy when we get dumped? I know that I'm worthy. Yet I feel so abandoned. I wish I had a fast forward button here. This is so hard. Can't help but wonder if he misses me. I just wanted to take the high road. No anger. No name calling. No dredging up the past, yet I'm so damn hurt its almost unbearable. I keep saying in my head that time heals all. May that time move faster

 

Thanks for listening.

Abigail

[RudeLou]

I was just dumped Friday. Although I can't offer too much advice since I am going through the same. I can say this hang in there. My relationship also ended the same way she seemed to kind of check out while I was trying my damnedest to work on everything. It's good you have those distractions. I on the other hand work with my es-girlfriend. Today is the first day I've seen or spoke to her since. We're keeping things civil We were great friends before we were together so I can honestly say we will be friends again in the future. Right now we both just need to heal.

[AbigailArcane]

Hi Lou...

 

Thanks for replying. I'm sorry to he's you're going through the same thing. I keep telling myself everything happens for a reason. There at worse things in life and I just need to get a grip. I'm not falling to pieces on the outside though, just on the inside. I'm hoping I continue to do well at school and this doesn't bring me down. So sorry a ou have to work with her. That's tough . All my best to you. Time heals all or so they say.

[mtnbiker]

Between full time nursing school and work you have a full plate. This will both keep you busy (mind off him more than others who may just work or just go to school) and allow you to do even better in school. Time does heal, though not always completely. Once you graduate you will have countless options, everybody loves a nurse!