ja123 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Hi everybody, I dated this guy for a few months. I must say I felt a connection with him that I have felt for no other man. If I'm honest, though, I probably would have run away had I not known in advance that he was here temporarily. That is one reason I was able to get close: because he was leaving. I am ambivalent about relationships, as I've been terribly hurt. And also because I'm not where I want to be in life right now, and rebuilding myself (in my career) is taking a lot of time and energy. Partly, I miss affection but, on the otherhand, I don't want someone to take away from my focus of what I'm currently doing to build a good, solid foundation for myself. So here's my dilemma ... he moved to another country 3 months ago. We'd been exchanging emails ... then, well, I stopped writing. I like him so much that I cannot write. Isn't that strange? I want to write to him, but I keep procrastinating. What in the heck is going on with me?
River Rain Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 1. That is one reason I was able to get close: because he was leaving. 2. I am ambivalent about relationships 3. rebuilding myself (in my career) is taking a lot of time and energy. 4. I don't want someone to take away from my focus of what I'm currently doing to build a good, solid foundation for myself. What in the heck is going on with me? I think you answered your own question above. You liked the affection while he was there, but now that he's gone, he doesn't serve your purpose anymore. I'm not saying that in a derogatory way at all, but it makes sense as to why you don't want to contact him now that the affection isn't there.
Author ja123 Posted October 10, 2012 Author Posted October 10, 2012 I like how you were able to break down my words, so I could see them more clearly. Yes, you are right he is not here, so the affection isn't there. I guess, too, that I don't think I'm doing myself any favours by hanging on to a distant fantasy. Though, I don't quite feel ready for a relationship right now, maybe I'll feel differently next year when I've moved ahead with a few more of my own things. And, if I hold on to some fantasy, or try maintaining a connection, then perhaps my heart won't be open for someone else to come along. I wonder how many other people have been in my situation. I really feel very deeply for this person, and it's hard to say goodbye. Thank you for responding. 1
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