Lost

[hotmrw]

Hi each and all, I am in need of some help and guidance as I don't know which way tO turn or what to do, my Girlfriend has just moved 5 hours away from me, I will fill in the details quickly as they are needed, we have not finished ( as far as I am aware ) and she has gone away mainly to address her ever increasing drink and drug problem, I have only been with her about 4 months but love her little soul to pieces, I know she needed to do something regarding her behavior as I am sure she would have ended up killing herself if she never did something, she has been in hospital 4 times in the last month, mainly alcohol related, she is only 20, I am well 38, but a very good 38 year old, anyway she claims she loves me to pieces, but has gone very quiet since moving away ( three days ago now ) I asked if she wants to continue the relationship she says yes but it will be difficult, but she says it in a not really kind of way, I am happy she is sorting herself out as I worry about her, but I am disappointing at how I have been treated, I have been plaguing her with texts showing I am needy and missing her and when I eventually spoke with her she said she is trying to start a new life up there and can't be done with me stressing her out, I am just hurting and wanted her to help me, I was always there for her ALWAYS, and feel sad that in my hour of need she deserted me and thought only of herself, I don't know what I am to do, just like night she text me saying ( good night love you xxx ) maybe because I said I was feeling down and her texts help me, I don't know, I am so confused at what I am to do next ;/ Please help me ANYONE

[WhatYouWantToHear]

This is a rear instance where horrible spelling, grammar and punctuation actually works in your favor. Without all those errors, I would definitely think you are a troll. With them, I believe you are asking a geniune question.

 

Now for my geniune answer: Leave her alone.

 

In 2011 you were twice her age. She lives 5 hours away. She's an addict. How many red flags do you need? This isn't going to work, run do not walk to an exit on this one.

[justwhoiam]

Her issues seem to be big and at such a young age. It's not that she doesn't want to help you. She can't. It's different. Go on being supportive. Now you realize you have needs too. You can't have needs with this girls right now. If you have them, keep them to yourself until she gets better. Then she will either make up for the time lost, or she will move on with her life. She's just 20 and you might not be the man of her life. It'd be hard for you to handle, as it seems you were ready to invest much in her, but this is the risk you take when you help someone. You shouldn't ask for anything in return.

 

I hope she will recover soon and you can make a good couple together.

[HeavenOrHell]

'A rear instance'? What does that mean? And it's 'genuine', not 'geniune'.

 

Might be an idea to brush up your own spelling/grammar before having a go at someone else about their's.

 

Also have some consideration that maybe English might not be the OP's first language, this is an LDR forum after all.

 

 

 

This is a rear instance where horrible spelling, grammar and punctuation actually works in your favor. Without all those errors, I would definitely think you are a troll. With them, I believe you are asking a geniune question.

 

Now for my geniune answer: Leave her alone.

 

In 2011 you were twice her age. She lives 5 hours away. She's an addict. How many red flags do you need? This isn't going to work, run do not walk to an exit on this one.

[WhatYouWantToHear]

'A rear instance'? What does that mean? And it's 'genuine', not 'geniune'.

 

I love it when people explain back to me the jokes I make. Simply delicisous (please criticize me for that won (or that)). I bet your pedantic grammarian sense of humor is a hit at parties.

 

Did you have anything to add to the conversation to help hot's situation or just come in to flop your huge spell checking abilities in everyone's face? Don't get me wrong we are all impressed. Unlike you, I didn't pick apart or even explicitly criticize him for his horrible literacy--I wish I had that time and such a tightly clenched butt to focus on such things. When I did reference it I said it was a positive because it led credibility to his story not being a troll. You went over all the trees with a fine tooth comb in my post, but you missed the forest.

 

Additionally, he speaks english fluently, not the best writer, but he's a native speaker or at least someone with decades of use of spoken english. Every witty internet grammarian should know that every language uses periods (go back to his post and count his).

 

I implore you to read every word of this and make sure its spelled correctly, nevermind the message.

Edited October 10, 2012 by WhatYouWantToHear

[HeavenOrHell]

Yes of course, makes perfect sense, I stand corrected

 

 

 

I love it when people explain back to me the jokes I make. Simply delicisous (please criticize me for that won (or that)). I bet your pedantic grammarian sense of humor is a hit at parties.

 

Did you have anything to add to the conversation to help hot's situation or just come in to flop your huge spell checking abilities in everyone's face? Don't get me wrong we are all impressed. Unlike you, I didn't pick apart or even explicitly criticize him for his horrible literacy--I wish I had that time and such a tightly clenched butt to focus on such things. When I did reference it I said it was a positive because it led credibility to his story not being a troll. You went over all the trees with a fine tooth comb in my post, but you missed the forest.

 

Additionally, he speaks english fluently, not the best writer, but he's a native speaker or at least someone with decades of use of spoken english. Every witty internet grammarian should know that every language uses periods (go back to his post and count his).

 

I implore you to read every word of this and make sure its spelled correctly, nevermind the message.

[cerridwen]

 

-----

 

Hot,

Are you still around or have you abandoned this thread?

My advice would be to focus on your issues, which seem to include enmeshment.

Are you also using?

[lovinghearted]

People need to realize others reaching out for help don't need their grammar picked on. Who ever that was up there. I myself know I have bad grammar half the time but when you have lots of stuff going on it's hard at times to write like you have a PHD. I have a disease that makes me forget words at times much less how to spell them. Another forum I went to once a person jumped all over me telling me how stupid I was for bad grammar and i didnt get on another for a long time . Plus right now I have a four year old grabbing my arms messing me up!!! lol.. and no I dont neglect my child being on the net! Sorry, had to say something.

[hotmrw]

Hi everyone, firstly sorry for my poor spelling and grammar, it is not my strong point, well I am still in limbo with everything, I am still confused and hurting with everything, I hardly ever hear from her, today was two days and nothing so I have text her 4 times in the last 24 hours first, was goodnight & Love you, second was Good morning & Love you, third was are you Ok xxx, and fourth was I am really worried about you could you drop me a quick text to let me know you are OK, still nothing, she had no money to top her phone up and asked if I could lend her the money to top up, I did, and she never even said thank you

she did however send me a beautiful birthday card ( To My Special Partner ) called me ( Baby in it = her name for me ) it was such a nice card with a single red rose on it saying I Love You, I text her to thank her for the card said I loved her and she replied withing 60 seconds with " I love you to xx " this was two days ago, and nothing since, I am hoping she will reply to the recent texts I have sent her but who knows, I think all I know is that she loves me, I don't know anything else, I am so down with it all, I just don't know what to do, she has always been inconsiderate and selfish, and there is nothing new in her ignoring my calls or texts, but she is 5 hours away from me now so things are really hard, I did think about going no contact to see if she would come back to me? does anyone have any advice? I love this little soul very much but she I feel powerless, neglected, insecure to name but a few, I can't continue feeling the way that I do, I really really need some good advice

[WhatYouWantToHear]

Again, I never picked on him for his atrocious spelling, punctuation and grammar. I referenced it, just like I did now, in making my point that in the context of the situation he is in it lends insight.

 

Here he is again, positing about how he needs 'good advice'. Despite everyone perceiving my previous posts as threats to kill innocent puppies and kittens because of his spelling, punctuation and grammar skills, my and everyone else's advice has been good. Its just not what he wants to hear.

 

Run, do not walk away from this situation hot, and never look back.

[justwhoiam]

Personally, that correction helped me understand... at times I have a hard time when the text is difficult to read because of typos and punctuation and I start wondering: what do they mean there? Now and then I find myself looking up for words/expressions that do not even exist They were just incorrect. Most of the time I can tell a typo, but not always.

 

Anyway, hot, did you read my post? The last post you wrote made it sound as if you didn't even read any post here. Just saying.

[hotmrw]

Hi everyone, I am really sad, for all that I did for this person ( AND I DID SO MUCH ) I was dumped by a Cold Text, I could not get hold of her and sent her text after text after text and was calling her and her Aunties Number as I was worried, I got no explanation, no sorry, she simply moaned at me for calling her Auntie at such an early time ( HER AUNTIE HAD JUST FINISHED A 12 HOUR SHIFT WHICH I NEVER KNEW ABOUT OR I WOULD NEVER HAVE CALLED )

I have since found out that her Auntie had a go at her because she was only living up there 4 days and she started hanging about with a coke dealer, also when she came home after her 12 hour shift she was asleep on the couch and the sink was full of pots, I am told she had a right go at her, I am not sure what my next move should be as I love her, two days before she dumped me by text she claimed she loved me, I am soooooo sad and confused (((

[hotmrw]

Yes I have viewed all post, thanks everyone x