Febreze Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 It's been a good while since I been on LS with work and everything. There's also some drama but I wont go into so many details The gist of of this whole thing is that my current bf has been doing things to bother me. I dont think it's intentional. Maybe he cant help it? I've tried to get closer to him but then I pull away whenever he does stuff to me like talk about "younger" women hitting on him but then he'll say that he thinks I'm still prettier. Really? Does he mean it? Just last night when we were talking in bed by the nightlight he said to me "Babe, is that crow's feet?" and was looking all close at my face. This made me feel so freaking self-conscious! Why does he have to point something like that out?! I'm 36 now not 26 and he knows this! But the good thing is at work this older doctor, one of the fellows, has the hots for me but he's almost 60! Yikes! I do like him because he makes me feel so young and good about myself but I'm not exactly attracted to him. But I cant help flirting with him. He's so charming! But he's old! I dont know how much longer I got with my current bf. It's a rollercoaster. But I cant imagine replacing him with a man twice his age! I just wish my bf had the charm and sensitivity of this older doctor. It can make a huge difference and take us a long way. I feel so confused now because I'm off work today but will see both my bf and the doctor tomorrow. I feel like avoiding them altogether!
Ami1uwant Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 How old is the BF...same age as you or younger? Is the issue because he talks about these other women hitting on him? if so you should be happy he is telling you this stuff. It also could be a test on you to determine how jealous you get. What happens if you end it with your BF? What do you see happens? Are you afraid of not being in another relationship?
rocketman122 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 is this the best you can do? either an immature boy who sounds like a douche or an old fart who probably needs viagra? 3
FitChick Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 I've tried to get closer to him but then I pull away whenever he does stuff to me like talk about "younger" women hitting on him but then he'll say that he thinks I'm still prettier. Just last night when we were talking in bed by the nightlight he said to me "Babe, is that crow's feet?" But the good thing is at work this older doctor, one of the fellows, has the hots for me but he's almost 60! Too bad you work with the doctor. I don't recommend dating coworkers. If he's a doctor he should be in better health and look better than a typical 60 year old. There are two ways to play this with your boyfriend. I think the best would be to joke about it and show absolutely no insecurity: "Did you know crow's feet are also called laugh lines? That's because you make me so happy. I never had them until I met you." "Younger women hitting on you tells me that I have excellent taste in men" and give him a little squeeze or kiss and change the subject. If things take a negative turn and you think you might dump him, start noticing his receding hairline and suggest Rogaine and to save up for hair transplants. Squeeze his love handles and mention they are getting bigger and belly fat can lead to heart attacks. Notice his wrinkles and say you heard men are now getting Botox. Tell him about the doctor flirting with you. Start pointing out hot looking men and say "But I am more attracted to you NOW" (but maybe not later if you keep acting like a jerk). It could be that he is afraid he is getting older so deflects that fear onto you. 1
NYC-BigKat Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 It's been a good while since I been on LS with work and everything. There's also some drama but I wont go into so many details The gist of of this whole thing is that my current bf has been doing things to bother me. I dont think it's intentional. Maybe he cant help it? I've tried to get closer to him but then I pull away whenever he does stuff to me like talk about "younger" women hitting on him but then he'll say that he thinks I'm still prettier. Really? Does he mean it? Just last night when we were talking in bed by the nightlight he said to me "Babe, is that crow's feet?" and was looking all close at my face. This made me feel so freaking self-conscious! Why does he have to point something like that out?! I'm 36 now not 26 and he knows this! But the good thing is at work this older doctor, one of the fellows, has the hots for me but he's almost 60! Yikes! I do like him because he makes me feel so young and good about myself but I'm not exactly attracted to him. But I cant help flirting with him. He's so charming! But he's old! I dont know how much longer I got with my current bf. It's a rollercoaster. But I cant imagine replacing him with a man twice his age! I just wish my bf had the charm and sensitivity of this older doctor. It can make a huge difference and take us a long way. I feel so confused now because I'm off work today but will see both my bf and the doctor tomorrow. I feel like avoiding them altogether! I would really really love to try older girls. I really like nurses too so u belong with the doc.
Author Febreze Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 Too bad you work with the doctor. I don't recommend dating coworkers. If he's a doctor he should be in better health and look better than a typical 60 year old. There are two ways to play this with your boyfriend. I think the best would be to joke about it and show absolutely no insecurity: "Did you know crow's feet are also called laugh lines? That's because you make me so happy. I never had them until I met you." "Younger women hitting on you tells me that I have excellent taste in men" and give him a little squeeze or kiss and change the subject. If things take a negative turn and you think you might dump him, start noticing his receding hairline and suggest Rogaine and to save up for hair transplants. Squeeze his love handles and mention they are getting bigger and belly fat can lead to heart attacks. Notice his wrinkles and say you heard men are now getting Botox. Tell him about the doctor flirting with you. Start pointing out hot looking men and say "But I am more attracted to you NOW" (but maybe not later if you keep acting like a jerk). It could be that he is afraid he is getting older so deflects that fear onto you. @Ami1uwant: he's 33 and I'm 36. I'm not planning on ending things with him but if he keeps it up I will start shopping around. I'm not getting any younger u know. @Fitchick: girl, I love everything u had to say! We should get together and hang out sometime lmao! I'm really tired of sitting idly and doing nothing while he takes little jabs at me. I pretend to not let it get to me but I think he knows it does. About the doctor, I'm not sure his age, probably 55, but looks 60 or so. I think he's really sweet but just a little too old for me since the oldest I'd go is about 45. I could be wrong about his age though but I doubt it. Just keep getting this 60ish feeling from him But I'm definitely gonna go with throwing some jabs at my bf playfully to see if he'll continue the banter or act like a baby about it. Tbh I really shouldn't have to be doing this stuff with him but I guess such things happen in relationships where u get insecure. I sometimes feel it. I work so hard not to but it probably still shows. Maybe he picks up on this?
ja123 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Tbh I really shouldn't have to be doing this stuff with him but I guess such things happen in relationships where u get insecure. I sometimes feel it. I work so hard ... IMO relationships do take work ... but hard work, in this way? No. A good LTR, to me, means that both parties can be vulnerable in front of the other and not feel attacked. It sounds to me like you're being attacked, OP, and being made to feel insecure. That's gaming-playing and it's creating ridiculous drama for nothing. I'd tell him how his comments make you feel. Then, I'd ask him if he's given dating other women any serious thought. Listen to what he has to say. How long have you been together? Is there talk of a future together? Marriage? Kids?
kaylan Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 (edited) wtf....dont date the younger one. Im 26 and have a desire to date older women, but Im mature and wouldnt be stupid enough to point out crap like crows feet. What an idiot. Its typical aging...it happens to everyone and he should know better than to say that. What a dumb ass. Gosh...hes scaring the older women away from us younger guys with stupidity like that. Just find a mature guy youre age you are attracted to. Dont settle for the old guy you arent really into just because you need the attention. Only reason you like the attention is because your idiot bf makes you insecure. Edited October 8, 2012 by kaylan
Author Febreze Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 IMO relationships do take work ... but hard work, in this way? No. A good LTR, to me, means that both parties can be vulnerable in front of the other and not feel attacked. It sounds to me like you're being attacked, OP, and being made to feel insecure. That's gaming-playing and it's creating ridiculous drama for nothing. I'd tell him how his comments make you feel. Then, I'd ask him if he's given dating other women any serious thought. Listen to what he has to say. How long have you been together? Is there talk of a future together? Marriage? Kids? We've been together like 8-9 months, give or take. I try to feel vulnerable around him but its hard. Like when we're together laying in bed talking to each other about stuff, I always remember to dab on makeup just in case. I think its me not him when it comes to this because I've done this in the past with other men I dated after turning 30. I honestly dont know why I once brought up marriage and kids to him months ago but he ran away from it so I never bothered again, even though last month I caught him in a baby store staring at clothes so who knows. I pretended not to notice so he wouldn't try to cover it up. About talking to other women I cant stand the thought of it right now since I really care about him and would be jealous out of my mind if he started dating around, especially the younger ones. I'm already annoyed that he even brings them up and looks at them from time to time so to see him actually doing it would drive me bananas
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