bsacamano69 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 My girlfriend is very uncomfortable with intimacy. The only thing we've done is cuddle. We've been friends for a year and a half and just recently started going out. Showing affection has been a struggle for her her entire life, so I'm in no rush and don't want to put her in a situation where she feels uncomfortable, but this is a big issue for the both of us. I don't want to break up with her because she's my best friend and I care about her a lot, but I'm worried that she'll never want to take things further. Any advice would be helpful here.
Author bsacamano69 Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 Ages would help here.... I'm 22 and she's 20.
FitChick Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 I am from a very non-affectionate family. I don't recall either of my parents ever kissing me, cuddling me or saying they loved me and my siblings. I never saw them kiss or hug each other. It's a wonder they were able to reproduce. My first boyfriend was from a very expressive Italian family. He automatically grabbed my hand when we walked, hugged me and kissed me spontaneously. It felt awkward at first and I was a cold fish. I don't know how he put up with me. Eventually I warmed up to him because I liked the affection. Since that point I've had no problem expressing affection toward men I've dated, even in public. Give her time. You could try being very affectionate for a certain period of time and then hold back to see if she initiates. 1
Eddie Edirol Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 If she isnt a virgin, I think that she just isnt attracted you. Did you have to convince her to start dating you after a year? Did you like her the whole time and she turned you down?
Author bsacamano69 Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 (edited) If she isnt a virgin, I think that she just isnt attracted you. Did you have to convince her to start dating you after a year? Did you like her the whole time and she turned you down? I'm not sure if she's a virgin or not, but I get the feeling that she is because she's told me that her first boyfriend dumped her because she wouldn't get physical with him. I did like her the whole time, I asked her out at the beginning of our friendship and after one date she said we should just be friends. Now, a year and a half later, she told me she has feelings for me and wants to get used to being affectionate with me but that it's really difficult for her. I didn't have to convince her of anything, she actually really surprised me when she told me that. Edited October 8, 2012 by bsacamano69
Eddie Edirol Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I'm not sure if she's a virgin or not, but I get the feeling that she is because she's told me that her first boyfriend dumped her because she wouldn't get physical with him. I did like her the whole time, I asked her out at the beginning of our friendship and after one date she said we should just be friends. Now, a year and a half later, she told me she has feelings for me and wants to get used to being affectionate with me but that it's really difficult for her. I didn't have to convince her of anything, she actually really surprised me when she told me that. If thats the case then I think she has issues that she isnt telling you about. COuld be some sort of abuse when she was a child. If so she needs councelling. If not, she just needs trust. If the latter, and you have patience, then dont keep pushing for intimacy, let her work on it without pressure from you. maybe some women here can chime in on what its like as a girl that age with little experience.
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