DontWorryBHappy Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 (edited) So I'm bored at work and have decided to come on my dear LS, to chat about the one person who's been on my mind so much lately. He's a former coworker, and current friend. We really clicked on the job to the point that we were regularly spending time together outside of it. I started to catch feelings for him about 2 or so weeks after we started working together. Why do I like him? Well, for me the answer is easy. When I'm with him I feel comfortable, like I can be myself, and to him my quirks are charming rather than odd. We often laugh so much that it makes my eyes start to get all weird and watery, but at the same time, he has a deeper side to his personality that I really understand, and appreciate. Plus, I think he's super adorable . I've spent the night at his house several times, including last night. The first night, I spent it sleeping on the floor in his living room. Second night, him on floor and me on his bed. Third night, me on his bed and him on the floor. Last night, both of us on the bed... separate blankets, haha. So at the very least I guess he is trusting me more as a friend, and that still makes me happy, even if deep down I would go for more. Sometimes I get the feeling that I'm definitely just his friend, but then while we're laying around watching tv (or whatever) he'll rub his foot on mine or he'll graze my arm with his fingers, for just a moment. But then out comes the separate blanket. So I really don't know. I'm learning the art of being oneself and spending time with someone that I fancy without expectations. It's almost like giving just to give, and living just to enjoy being alive. It's harder than you'd think it should be, though. Edited October 8, 2012 by DontWorryBHappy
phasmif Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Leave it as is and see how it goes. Something really lovely may develop
oaks Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 You kipped at your friend's house. 4 times. That's not Dating. Ask him on a date. Then it might be.
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted October 11, 2012 Author Posted October 11, 2012 So I've gotten to the point where I am pretty sure I won't be telling him my feelings. We are becoming close friends.. we talk every day, he calls and messages me often, and many times it is about important stuff.. the kind of things that you wouldn't talk about with just any random casual friend. Like asking for advice about decisions that he needs to make and sharing all the little aspects of his days. I don't normally make strong friendships because I tend to be introverted and it doesnt come naturally to me, but this has the potential to be one of those really close friendships that lasts. If I were to tell him that some of my feelings go beyond friendship and he didnt feel the same, there would probably be this awkwardness in the air that wouldnt fade, and that would depress me quite a bit. I feel that he probably only sees me as a friend. Maybe that could change (because things can always change) but thats the way it is for the moment I think. I guess it's possible that things would be ok after telling him, but I can't be sure unless I were to take the risk..
Mycteria Posted October 11, 2012 Posted October 11, 2012 Guys almost never pursue women for friendships if they aren't interested in something more.
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted October 12, 2012 Author Posted October 12, 2012 yea, normally I would agree but this guy has a number of female and male friends. He's very outgoing with everyone and has close friends of both genders... so he's especially hard to read
melodymatters Posted October 12, 2012 Posted October 12, 2012 To be quite honest it can really be only one of two things: 1) He's an extrovert and see's you as a good pal, though the level of communication seems to be extreme, so if it's not the latter below, he might be slightly odd... 2) He likes you as more than a friend but is not the type to make a first move. I've never had male friends that weren't interested in more that wanted THAT level of interaction ( sleep overs, talking and texting daily), so either he wants you and has the same fears you do, or he is frankly rather needy and weird !
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted October 12, 2012 Author Posted October 12, 2012 lol I guess this is gonna stay a mystery then. Update: We just booked a week long trip to new york city in december. One of his other friends (a girl) was originally going but decided she couldnt afford it. So yeah, we're taking a va-ca together... as friends? lol
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted October 14, 2012 Author Posted October 14, 2012 (edited) sigh, maybe he is just the "needy" friend or something. that's a bad word, because I wouldnt actually suggest that he's needy.. but today he was texting me quite a bit often even though he was away on a weekend trip with people. Periodically he would find a reason to say something.. and when I told him I was going to a tango class, he wanted to come, and also wanted to come to some other things that I said I was interested in doing. Tomorrow he gets back from his trip, so I asked if he wanted to hang out tomorrow, and he replied with, "I have things to do." Then he carried on talking to me like normal and said he was excited for the tango class. So I guess he probably doesnt like me? If I like a guy I always make time to hang out, no matter what I have going on. Could it be different for men, even if they like a girl? Or is this a sign that he just sees me as his good pal? I'll probably keep thinking about all this til I get so tired of the mystery that I give up trying go figure it out. Edited October 14, 2012 by DontWorryBHappy
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