Broke up with girlfriend a week ago, yet I feel like the dumpee .. Miserable.

October 8, 2012

Hey guys... first of all this is not my first time here, second go around... here is my first post 2 years ago : http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/247894-lost-love-my-life-i-want-her-back-long-vent-need-aid-badly

Well yes I'm back, and I have plenty on my head and heart... I broke up with this same girl on 9/28 and simply put I have been like absolutely depressed since then. I'm going to write here on this thread as much as I can to help me rationalize things.. to vent.. because damn I am hurting and I can't stop.

To summarize what happened that day of our breakup, she had insisted that she needed time away from me. She had been hinting to this for practically the entire week leading up to that day. Problem was, she never really specified who she was going to be with. I already had my suspicions of her and my instincts were running wild that day. To make matters worse she really did not want me showing up to her job that day when she got out, which was really peculiar. Anyways after showing up at her job, arguing, and her saying she was going to go straight home, I left for my house. I get home an hour later, only to find out that she was still there by her job. Like W T F. There are more reasons for me to believe she was at the very least emotionally cheating behind my back, but it's just too much to get into right now. Angry as f*ck, I finally really broke up with her via text and just deleted her off FB etc. The only thing she did was text me that night at 4AM asking if we could talk... I did not reply.

.. And I haven't said a word to her since then. I have not seen her, I have not talked to her... very difficult I must say, as I was so emotionally invested in this girl for practically 3 years. I truly loved her so much. Like nobody else... Granted we had our ups and downs, I really did everything I could to make her happy. To compromise. To put a smile on her face. Her happiness meant my happiness.

I let her go in order to see if she really loved me. If she really did love me, she would come after me. I wanted to see if she would do that. She has not. I guess that's really a big reason why I'm hurting so much. Not entirely just because of her, but because of myself. How I allowed myself to be trapped in love with someone that really did not care about my feelings. Who cheated on me with her ex b4.. also caught her sending nearly nude pix of herself to strangers on Craigslist. And lying about all that, amongst other things. And now what do I have to show for all of my devotion? A girl who doesn't give a ****, who is just going about her life, while I sit here driving myself crazy... WHY ME, WHY is all I can ask...

I already have convinced myself this girl isn't even good for me. She's a liar, someone who is compulsive and impulsive with her actions, and more. She really does not think about the consequences of what she does. I've talked to my sister who really insists to leave her the hell alone, and never talk to her again. She hates her pretty much. They had a good relationship before but I guess after all this she wants to smack her. Can't blame her. My friends say the same... they said I wasn't the same when I was with her. That I changed too much for her liking.

So what is wrong with me? I feel like I'm longing for her so bad. Despite the **** she's done to me, I still love her so much. I hate the way we parted. I feel like I lost a huge part of my life. It makes me absolutely miserable. Before this girl I was so damn picky, I couldn't find anybody. I thought everything of her. I'm 26 now, it isn't as easy as people make it seem to meet somebody new. Where do I go from here?

Should I contact her? I know it would be retarded, and probably wouldn't accomplish anything, but I really just want to speak to her.. about anything.. how she's been.. I don't know. Why can't we just go about our lives.. why do I have to be the sucker that cares so much and can't move on as easily as she has? I've always been such an emotional guy.. WHY IS THAT.. Why can't I just not give a damn like all the other aholes? I rather be an ahole than have to feel like this every time I go through a breakup. I really need some type of closure.

To be continued... All input is acceptable.. criticize me all you want! Thanks in advance.

October 8, 2012

She sounds like someone you should stay well away from though, do you really want a future with that girl? She sounds immature, lacking values etc.

From what I read you also sound immature, eg. breaking up with her through text without even CONFIRMING everything. But I imagine your relationship has been going to the dumps for awhile and you were just fed up with it. I think you really need to step back from this though and get a hold of yourself. You shouldn't even attempt talking to her in this state.

Also if you DO want to contact her - which I think in this case is understandable since the end of your fairly long relationship seems to have been done in haste, bare in mind she probably won't tell you the truth, or if she does it will be something you don't want to hear.

October 8, 2012

This sounds quite similar to my siutation. It sounds like your ex checked out of this RS a while ago. She was busy trying to line up someone new (perhaps a co-worker) before she pulled the plug. Not having the guts to end it herself she pushed you to a point where you had to do it, saving her some of the guilt of hurting you. Now she doesn't want to talk to you, because

a) she is happy moving on

b) probably has a new guy and is happy (for the moment)

c) is angry that you dumped her via text

d) doesn't want to feel the guilt

I stupidly broke NC with my ex just over a week ago and got nothing, despite the fact that we were quite freindly at the split. I have no idea what is going on in her life but I'm fairly certain she has moved on with another guy. After all we had it was that easy for her to just quit and move on. I now realise that what we had wasn't what I thought it was.

You need to go NC with her and stick with it. She will either move on or eventually come running back looking for an ego stroke, or perhaps really wanting you back (unlikely). Move on with your life as best you can and you now what, you WILL meet someone else. I know it's not easy, but when you are ready and healed you will find someone better who will not treat you this way.

October 8, 2012

I'm lost ladies and gents, truly lost.

You guys bring up some good points though, I really don't wanna be with her for the rest of my life. I cannot be with someone who I cannot trust, especially someone I have CAUGHT on more than one occasion. I did however want to be with her minus the trust and craziness issues. But as they say, a leopard doesnt lose its spots overnight. (Or something like that lol)

I guess I have been anticipating this moment for awhile. Problem was I was oblivious and didnt really see it coming. I was not fully prepared. I guess for some stupid reason I believed everything would work itself out and we'd be happy.

Now I know that this really must be done. Who knows if she will contact me again... But time apart is all but necessary at this point. I really hate how Things went down. I really hate how she has it in her to be with someone else already... And trust me everyone, I know with certainty she is at the very least sleeping over another man's house already. Sad to say but this girl always needs a guy around. She really has no true support system of girlfriends. She has like 1 or 2 but she rarely if ever speaks to them. Meanwhile I can't stop thinking about her despite everything. I can't even think about dating another girl right now. Her philosophy when getting over her last ex was "best way to get over someone is to get under someone else."

I will continue to write here to help myself move on. To help me realize that what is happening is happening for a reason. That I should not allow her to continue walking all over me. That as great as I thought she was, people mess up, and it's up to us to take action. That as great and amazing it was to find someone like her, eventually I will find somebody else who shares the same values as I do. I also need this time to figure out how to be happy from within. Maybe I also did her a favor and set her free. Maybe this last 2.5 years she never truly loved me.

I must take this as a learning experience and move on. Simping and feeling depressed over this does nothing. I mist learn how to man up, and just get over it.

Cheers

October 8, 2012

i can really relate to ur story man and topcat22 hit it on the head when he said..

It sounds like your ex checked out of this RS a while ago. She was busy trying to line up someone new (perhaps a co-worker) before she pulled the plug. Not having the guts to end it herself she pushed you to a point where you had to do it, saving her some of the guilt of hurting you. Now she doesn't want to talk to you, because

a) she is happy moving on
b) probably has a new guy and is happy (for the moment)
c) is angry that you dumped her via text
d) doesn't want to feel the guilt

don't have it in your mind that YOU broke up with HER. we both know that she drove u to do this. she knows, and you know, that u wanted her and wanted things to work, but she didn't care.

after we broke up, we continued LC for a while, and i eventually got fed up with the distance, and her on the fence about us so i told her one day not to bother me anymore as i couldn't comprehend how we had gotten, from being best friends/lovers, etc. i told her it hurt me quite a bit. well guess what, she literally didn't bother me anymore after that, still hasn't responded/contacted me from that text nearly 3 months later.

it's the worst feeling man. i know what ur going through. it all feels like a lie, and that she never really f***ing cared about me. how can she just let me go with such ease. it's been a mindf***. at times it's been really tough not to reach out and give her a piece of my mind, but i have resisted. and u should too. at this point, even if she contacts me apologizing profusely etc, the damage has been done. she's hurt me too much and i can't fathom how she just doesn't even freaking contact me once...not even a drunk text, or a happy freaking birthday a month ago. she can never make up for all this.

i suggest u have the same mentality. mine also tried to start dating right away, in fact 2 nights after we broke up she slept over at some dudes place.

i'm 27 btw, almost the same age. we both just gotta let em go. they weren't right for us. i cared/loved this girl so damn much, and for the majority of the relationship it was HER telling ME how much she cared/loved me so much (i took much longer until i could tell her how much i loved her...probs part of the reason she lost feelings who knows), but in the end, they didn't give a sh*t. we can't change their mind. they're gone. they might try to come back, but IMO it would be b/c they're lonely/missing our validation, not b/c they truly love us. otherwise how could they just leave us with such ease? **** em.

October 8, 2012

It is really strange how people can do this. My ex constantly told me how wonderful I was and how much in love with me she was. I felt she meant it too. Now it's like I don't even exist. She couldn't even bring herself to talk to me when we broke up. It's surreal.

I don't think it's that they didn't love us, in fact I'm sure they did. It's just that we were right for them at the time. My ex made a big life change about a month after we met and I was good for her when she moved back to her parents and had no friends around. When she moved back to London things changed. She changed and so did I. Suddenly I wasn't what she wanted anymore.

Don't get caught up thinking what you had wasn't real. It was, it was just of it's time. The reason they don't want to talk to us is simple. It hurts. They're upset at losing the love for us and they feel guilty (really guilty) about hurting us.

October 8, 2012

we can't change their mind. they're gone. they might try to come back, but IMO it would be b/c they're lonely/missing our validation, not b/c they truly love us. otherwise how could they just leave us with such ease? **** em.

Amazing advice Jono, the whole thing is amazing but this is what the key really is. They chose to leave or force us to leave, they decided that they can do better than us. I'm in the same boat as both of you and there is NOTHING WE CAN DO!! Nothing we can say or any action that we can take to change their mind. If you did how would you feel dating someone "you talked into loving/being with you"???

I've read through most of this forum and there are very few if any "we got back together and now we are happy" stories. It's not easy but try to be strong, leave them alone (honor their wishes), and if they ever come back remember what Jono said and tread lightly. This is the time for you to get to a place where you can move on, remove emotional attachment. We all know that if she came back now, you would make an emotional decision. Try to improve yourself, try to get over her, so if that day comes you leave emotion out of the decision process.

To follow up, some of the stories that I have read about "ex's coming back" usually happen when you are over them. Most if not all of the dumpees either ignore the reconciliation request or simply turn them down. It's hard to swallow but you need to understand that there is a 99.9% chance you're done forever. Either by her choice or eventually yours.

October 8, 2012

That's true Navy, although I would argue that if our exes came back we likely wouldn't be on the forum and would be too busy rebuilding and enjoying our relationships to post again! I hadn't even heard of this forum before I split with my ex. I get your point though.

October 8, 2012

You really need to stay away from this girl. Seriously. You're 26 not 95. Where do you go from here? Go out with your friends, chat up new people. Join MeetUp.com and get into events in your area. You can't possibly think that this is it from here on out... right?

Your ex sounds like the female version of my ex. He was compulsive, impulsive, a cheater a liar. I stayed with him too when I found out he cheated with his ex. I thought we could work it out. You know what I learned from that? (And I hope you learn from this too)

When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM. And, don't give cheaters second chances, all they will do is let you down and do it again.

I too changed a lot of myself for my ex and all he did was walk all over me, use me, lie to me, make a fool of me, take me for granted, took advantage of everything.

Why would you go back to this? DON'T MESSAGE HER. This whole relationship you have going on isn't love at all.

October 8, 2012

it's the worst feeling man. i know what ur going through. it all feels like a lie, and that she never really f***ing cared about me. how can she just let me go with such ease. it's been a mindf***. at times it's been really tough not to reach out and give her a piece of my mind, but i have resisted. and u should too. at this point, even if she contacts me apologizing profusely etc, the damage has been done. she's hurt me too much and i can't fathom how she just doesn't even freaking contact me once...not even a drunk text, or a happy freaking birthday a month ago. she can never make up for all this.

i suggest u have the same mentality. mine also tried to start dating right away, in fact 2 nights after we broke up she slept over at some dudes place.

i'm 27 btw, almost the same age. we both just gotta let em go. they weren't right for us. i cared/loved this girl so damn much, and for the majority of the relationship it was HER telling ME how much she cared/loved me so much (i took much longer until i could tell her how much i loved her...probs part of the reason she lost feelings who knows), but in the end, they didn't give a sh*t. we can't change their mind. they're gone. they might try to come back, but IMO it would be b/c they're lonely/missing our validation, not b/c they truly love us. otherwise how could they just leave us with such ease? **** em.

This is amazing to me that a lot of us have the EXACT same story. My ex (male) pulled this same stunt on me after almost 3 years of dating. Word for word this is my life. My birthday was this past weekend and not a peep. I also don't get how he could go from bestfriend/lover to complete a.sshole stranger. It is like a lie. I truly don't believe he ever cared/loved me the way I did him. I can't believe these people are so prevalent in society. It's really sad.

October 8, 2012

Thanks everybody. Honestly I love to hear this positive reinforcement from you guys, my family, my friends. It helps me realize my heart is doing more thinking than my head.

Funny thing is if you read my original link I took her back because I didn't want to listen to anybody. I felt like my situation was different, and that we were destined for something great. Low and behold, here I am today, heartbroken yet again.

However I have no regrets. As stupid as I knew it was, it was something that I had to experience. I learned a lot from our relationship together. I know now I need to learn how to get my own life together... and that that girl is somebody that at the end of the day I will be better without. I don't really love her, I really love who she had the potential to be... sadly that person does not and will not exist within her. Sometimes you have to learn the hard way.

Still at the same time I guess I can't help but want to speak to her... to pick her mind... I really want closure. I want us to end on better terms. I do care about her regardless of what she did to me and I want her to find happiness as well. That's just who I am, I generally am too nice and can't help but hate anybody. I honestly feel bad for her because she does have self-esteem issues.

Another thing is that I found a semi-secret blog she had, where she had said she was going to continue to write in until she got over things... she stopped writing after day 2, SMH Thing is though in the blog she really kept lying to me (I'm assuming she figured I'd find it somehow)... problem is she's also lying to herself.

I really am hurting probably for the wrong reasons. I do love her, but know she isn't right for me. I think I am hurting for myself that something so effed up could actually happen to me. This is really the first time I've been cheated on like that. I wish to develop thicker skin, because the more I notice, it is nice guys like ALL OF US HERE who get SCREWED OVER. And that just isn't fair.

But again, forgive but don't forget. Move on, but don't regret.

Thanks guys, you are all helping me heal.

October 8, 2012

BTW it is true... misery loves company, lol

the more I see this happens to others, the more it helps me relate, and move on. . .

October 8, 2012

It is really strange how people can do this. My ex constantly told me how wonderful I was and how much in love with me she was. I felt she meant it too. Now it's like I don't even exist. She couldn't even bring herself to talk to me when we broke up. It's surreal.

I don't think it's that they didn't love us, in fact I'm sure they did. It's just that we were right for them at the time. My ex made a big life change about a month after we met and I was good for her when she moved back to her parents and had no friends around. When she moved back to London things changed. She changed and so did I. Suddenly I wasn't what she wanted anymore.

Don't get caught up thinking what you had wasn't real. It was, it was just of it's time. The reason they don't want to talk to us is simple. It hurts. They're upset at losing the love for us and they feel guilty (really guilty) about hurting us.

i'm not saying i disagree, cuz i really am at a loss for this whole subject. but ok, i agree, that they may have thought they were in love with us at some point. for sure. i fully agree my ex was totally swept off her feet in love. i was the one who felt pressured for the first 6+ months. i couldn't say i love u yet. it takes time for me. probably built up walls from the exact same **** that this girl ended up doing to me.

anyhow, HOW do u just lose loving someone. or being in love. that's the mindf***. that's what puts in question whether the original "love" that she definitely THOUGHT she had for me, was real. maybe like u said, it was the situation. she was bored, lonely, and found a great guy that was competing against NO ONE or terrible exes, or not many great options. but IF she still developed that LOVE, how can it just evaporate if I, or you, or whoever, didn't lie/cheat/gain weight/abuse her, etc etc etc. So what, once she moves to london, or in my girls case, when she moved back home and out of a town she also didn't have many friends in, they have more options, and so they stop loving us?? they stop being attracted to us?? if they loved us, why are they even putting themselves in the position to crush on another guy? if they're happy with us (assuming they aren't if they allow themselves to slowy go) and care for us so deeply, why would they be tempted to lose that love or let us go and pursue other guys?

i could go on and on, it just doens't make sense and crushes our self-esteem. like we all of a sudden aren't good enough? is that love? i know i couldn't leave her that easy. how do i know?? b/c unfortunately i tried several times. early early in relationship i tried to dump her. b/c my feeligns weren't where hers were at and we were fighting all the time b/c of it. but i could NOT let her go. i didn't go more than a day or 2 without talking to her. she begged and pleaded for me to stay. i did, b/c i cared for her so much and felt maybe the love would come. it did. but i could never let her go...she was my best friend. i thought she cared about me so much and she was such a good sweet girl who put everyone first and before herself. but turns out this same girl burned me and disposed me in the trash with such ease. it's f***ed.

October 8, 2012

Jono, you are assuming the romantic notion that love lasts forever. Why can someone not fall out of love? It's not a permanent thing that can never be broken.

It boils down to a more primal notion. Your ex wants the best quality mate she can get. For whatever reasons, we gave our exes reasons to doubt that we were the best. Their instinct is to start looking for better, simply because they can. They might not find better, but we've created enough doubt for them to wonder. Think about how doe-eyed she used to be for you. This was because she was conviced that you were the best and you were a high quality mate for her to be with and breed with. Then, things happened, either your behaviour towards her/the world or maybe she improved herself and she felt she could do better. It's simple human nature. It sucks, but that emotional bond we call love comes a distant second to the need to breed with the best genetic stock. It's why people cheat. It sucks to be sure.

And how do you know it was that easy for her to leave you? She was probably just as upset as you when she realised you weren't the one she wanted. She probably wanted you to be the one.

Edited October 8, 2012 by TopCat22

October 8, 2012

Jono, you are assuming the romantic notion that love lasts forever. Why can someone not fall out of love? It's not a permanent thing that can never be broken.

It boils down to a more primal notion. Your ex wants the best quality mate she can get. For whatever reasons, we gave our exes reasons to doubt that we were the best. Their instinct is to start looking for better, simply because they can. They might not find better, but we've created enough doubt for them to wonder. Think about how doe-eyed she used to be for you. This was because she was conviced that you were the best and you were a high quality mate for her to be with and breed with. Then, things happened, either your behaviour towards her/the world or maybe she improved herself and she felt she could do better. It's simple human nature. It sucks, but that emotional bond we call love comes a distant second to the need to breed with the best genetic stock. It's why people cheat. It sucks to be sure.

And how do you know it was that easy for her to leave you? She was probably just as upset as you when she realised you weren't the one she wanted. She probably wanted you to be the one.

that makes a lot of sense. and to be honest i did get more insecure/needy towards the end of our relationship...but she was also giving me bouts of distance i wasn't accustomed to. whether i overreacted FIRST, or she started losing her love for me FIRST, i can't really say. but together they created some type of synergistic force that led to her feelings having obviously evaporated completely.

i'm just pissed off that she gave up on me. it's really weird man, b/c i have days where i feel it was my fault. i changed into the needy/insecure bf who started picking fights with her for not giving me as much attention as she once did. the only bit of closure/talk we had when we broke up was a brieft phone call on her way to work, when she broke down and said that i'd changed. she could never do anthing right and i was mean to her etc etc. that we rarely had any good days anymore. all this was TRUE. but it was so hard for me b/c i knew she was acting different and it was hard for me to pretend like everything was ok.

so anyway i find myself, almost daily, wondering whether i should ever build myself back up, and be better than that guy she fell in love with, and chase her back. i feel like i can get her back, definitely. BUT then the next day i'm like why the heck would i do that? she gave up on me. i actually broke up with her early in the relationship a few times, when SHE was the one acting so needy/insecure and starting constant fights. i never let her go, but maybe if someone better came into my life at that very time, i would have. the difference IMO, is that at that time, i never told her i loved her, and the relationship was only a few months old. when SHE did it to me, it was a year old, we both loved each other openly, and i didn't act this way for that long, comparitively. why would i try to fight for her back when she gave up, and started pursuing other mates?? that's what f***ing hurts. I KNOW i changed a bit, and let things get to me and wasn't the rock that she needed (she was going through LOT of stress from work, and instead of me keeping things light and happy and playful i was starting fights b/c she didn't text me or wasnt as affectionate on the phone etc). <-- we were long distance btw, 2 hour drive. i was starting fights when i should have been the source of happiness in her life and a breather from everything else. i just missed the olddd gf she used to be; giving me so much attention, etc.

so that is the conundrum. do i improve myself and try to get her back? or was she wrong for giving up on me so easily, etc. i battle this very often. it sucks. i feel like i can def get to a point where my swagger is back, and more, but if she falls back for me, i'll be still be so resentful and bitter that she left the first time not having any faith in me to change.

f***

October 8, 2012

I want her back so bad.. It wasn't mean to be this way. I feel like I'm going over the edge here.

October 8, 2012

Jono it's like your typing for me... it's essentially the same thing for me, with some tweaks here and there.

October 8, 2012

Jono it's like your typing for me... it's essentially the same thing for me, with some tweaks here and there.

yeah bud. i don't generally hijack threads lol, but i felt in this one particular, there's so much similar that we could both benefit from one another's advice/story.

i DEF think it's important not to contact her though for a good 4+ months.

why? b/c even if ur set on improving urself and building urself back up and getting that swagger back, u don't want to fall into the friendzone. it will A. consume u, and B. since u are NOT back to "100% swagger", without even knowing it, u may actually make things worse/kill things. so if ur set on wanting her to become reattracted to u, i think it's imperitive to take many months off and really improve urself. start from scratch.

that being said...both of ours were too cowardly to end things on their own. mine i actually don't have any evidence of cheating, but u never really know. i know she got drunk at the bar and slept over at some dudes place 2 days after we broke up. i also know she wanted to go on a date with this guy after, but he wasn't too interested. bottom line tho, is both our girls didn't have the "balls" to break up with us on their own, and instead got distant/never gave us closure after the fact. kind of cowardly if u ask me. i'm not sure these are values i want in my future wife.

but again the beauty of taking 4-6+ months off from any contact is, in half a year, or more, when the INTENSE feelings dissipate a little, you might even realize how easy it is for u, or me, to just say she's not worth it in the slightest. and it won't even be hard for us not to contact her. we may have met a special girl who knows. point is TAKE TIME OFF. don't contact her. don't try to persuad her to come back. ur in NO EMOTIONAL POSITION to win this battle. trust me.

October 8, 2012

Everything you're saying is right.. I just have this false hope that everything will work out for the better.. Reality is nothing is given to us.. we don't deserve ANYTHING. Only thing we can really control is ourselves... and you're right, time to get that swag back. I used to want more time for myself and now I've got it...

And like I said people don't change overnight.. all the problems we had during our relationship aren't going to magically disappear. Things can be worked on but some things such as trust and loyalty; are sacred and can't be given to just anybody - especially who have already taken them for granted. It's just sad that although we fought a lot over the same crap over and over again, and although I felt like I was always walking on eggshells hoping to God I wouldn't do something to anger her... I'd rather deal with that than what I'm feeling now.

Time time time... just gotta let it pass and do me.

Thanks Jono

October 8, 2012

I am going crazy. I think I need to contact her and talk about this and get proper closure. I want her to tell me that yes I am talking to somebody else and yes I am moving on. Who knows maybe it will help. All I know is right now I can't take this............................................

October 9, 2012

I am going crazy. I think I need to contact her and talk about this and get proper closure. I want her to tell me that yes I am talking to somebody else and yes I am moving on. Who knows maybe it will help. All I know is right now I can't take this............................................

I say contact her then, but only talk about reconciliation nothing more. You don't want to know if she's with someone else trust me. Why know? If you feel this bad speculating what do you think affirmation will do to you? I see 2 things happening here-

1.) she takes you back and 1 month later you're back talking about it happened again. Thing is 99.9% of the time things don't change. You broke up for a reason that will repeat itself.

2.) she doesn't and you are back to square 1. Still wondering if there is someone else.

What do I know, I'm no psychic, this is all advice.

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Broke up with girlfriend a week ago, yet I feel like the dumpee .. Miserable.

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