Elvis4ever Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 About a month & a half ago me and my boyfriend split up. I never thought things would happen like they did...but boy was i wrong. I am a few years older than my ex. We met in high school and started dating..he was the perfect Romeo..all the love letters, cards, candy... well, now i am in college and he is going in on his senior year (he failed a grade). well, all of a sudden people that i knew from high school started calling me and telling me that they had seen him kiss and hug other girls. One guy even told me that he had tried to make passes at his girlfriend. And went on to say that a girl that was a friend of my ex's said that she didnt feel comfortable around him because he told her that he wanted to make out with her. So, i asked him about that and he denied ever saying that..but i didnt feel that he was being honest, so then he confessed saying he said that 3 yrs. ago before we ever knew each other..and so i kept pressing and he finally admitted that he said that to her 2 months ago b/c her and her boy friend had split and he wanted to cheer her up. So, after that i didnt trust him. Then he is in the army reserves and starts going out with this girl from the army, and he said they were just "friends", and they went out to get a soda, so, after all this..i felt suspicious. Now, is the time where my friend told me that her and her friends had seen him kiss a girl ..i asked him about it and he denied it and then his whole attitude changed and he said that i had people spying on him and that he wanted to break up. so, i said that i didnt have ppl. spying on him and fine. and then that night he had that girl call that he was in the army with and she cussed me out and asked why i had ppl. spying on him... Now, he is away at Basic training..and he has been writting me and in one letter he was very rude..he said that he thought i would wait for him and that if i truly loved him that i would have taken him back when he apologized. And that i was bossy and never gave his dad or brother a chance..and with that i wasnt going to write him back, but he kept writting and so i wrote him telling him what i thought of his letter and him. So, now i got a letter from him apologizing for that saying he was under alot of stress and that he still loves me and he misses me and thinks about me and he wants to go back out with him. And then he wrote a poem. My question is..What should i do..i guess the evidence is pretty clear..but when we were together i gave him my heart...and it totally crushed me when the truth came out....
honey2005 Posted July 28, 2004 Posted July 28, 2004 I know it hurts, and it's hard to believe, but some people really are like that. My ex seemed like the nicest guy in the word, then out of nowhere he dumped me. Turned out he had another girl on the side and when I found out about it, he dropped me. It hurts for awhile, but eventually you will get over it. I don't advise going back out with him. If he would hurt you this bad once, who's to say he won't do it again? When cheaters are backed into a corner, they will try to find something wrong in your actions so they can be angry at you. Like your boyfriend accusing you of having spies. If he didn't have something to hide, why would he have been so angry. Whatever you choose, it's up to you, but be careful. Don't let him hurt you like that again. You deserve someone better who won't go behind your back kissing all kinds of girls, and then having one of his girlfriends call you up and cuss you out over something you didn't even do.
Author Elvis4ever Posted August 1, 2004 Author Posted August 1, 2004 Thanks for your advice. I definately agree with you. I have gotten some more letters from him since he's been gone...one i got he apologized for the wrongful things he put in one letter..saying he was under stress..and that he wanted me back..then i got another letter with a poem and he says that he has changed and it will be perfect this time if i take him back...And, i talked to him on the phone a few mins. ago and he said that he wanted me back but that he my stay solo for a while but, he was also thinking of this other girl at school he knows but he said he was leaning toward me more...but, i told him...whatever makes you happy,..but even with that..that shows how he is...but, im definately looking for better horizans...cause life is hard enough w/o ppl. playing games with ya all the time.....ya know?
Huskerking Posted August 1, 2004 Posted August 1, 2004 Girlfriend! What is your gut reaction to this guy? Go with that! Do you really think that he will be faithful to you? Based upon what you have stated and the manner in which he reacts by trying to criticize you for dealings with your relatives is him trying to take the focus off what he did to you. This guy is a dog and you know it. It hurts now but believe me you will be thankful that you go with your insticts on this one.
Author Elvis4ever Posted August 1, 2004 Author Posted August 1, 2004 Well, my gut reaction is...that i know he wont be faithful...if i were to get back with him things would be the same as they were before...but now he's trying to ask me if i would take him back if he asks me back out when he gets home from the reserves..cause theres some other girl he's interested in...but that right there tells ya...But, no, im not going back with him...he's got some issues and i think his issues have issues...but, i dont trust him, and he's looking at other "oppurtunities" to...so, it definately wouldnt work. I really dont think he knows what he wants..or how to treat people for that matter...but, i do..and its not him!
guest Posted August 2, 2004 Posted August 2, 2004 Been in this situation before: Don't Go Back. ^^^^^^^^^ I'm being pretty blunt about this, and I don't want to explain it. But don't go back. Trust me on this.
Author Elvis4ever Posted August 2, 2004 Author Posted August 2, 2004 Hello! Yeah, i dont have any plans on taking him back...I actually dont want him back...I have seen how he finagles and manipulates things and thats just not what im looking for in a relationship...I had went with a guy in high school ..and we was drop dead gorgeous...bule eyes..long blonde hair...but he cheated and we were going to go to the prom and he was going to leave me there so, i dumped him 2 days before the prom...so, ive been there...but this situations is a little more than that other relationship i was in..cause we had been together for so long...but, ive got my sights on some others..and its not him...But, i do have this professor..well, had...and i had him for math ..and me and him hit it off really well..and i do think he likes me..and he has dated students before...and he is really nice and is what im looking for...there would be times where i would be at home and talked to him on the internet and he asked if i was still at school.and this was around dinner time...so i think he wanted me to go out and eat with him...he bought me sodas from school..i got him some as well...and he told me about some problems he was having with this one girl that wanted him but he didnt like her...so, i think something is there.,..i have graduated from that college and am now going to another..but, i plan on visiting and if he is online ..stiking up a conversation with him...What do you think?? should i pursue..and how should i go about it???
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