SmileFace Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Well according to Facebook I have moved back to my hometown after being gone for two years. When I moved I had started a weight loss program and dropped a significant amount of weight before moving. Anyway over the years I have gotten tons of attention from guys who I attended school with. However the distance wasn't in my favor. I was obese during my school years ranging from grade school to my first year of college. Now that I have moved back - the messages seem to come in weekly. Should I actually give these guys a chance? Most of these guys wouldn't have opened a door for me prior. However I am much more confident, active, have a decent job, in school, independent and outgoing now. 1
tori0001 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Honestly I wouldn't. If these guys couldn't get past your weight then, they don't deserve the time of day from you now. You deserve more then that. It goes to show you how shallow these guys really are. 1
Author SmileFace Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 Honestly I wouldn't. If these guys couldn't get past your weight then, they don't deserve the time of day from you now. You deserve more then that. It goes to show you how shallow these guys really are. But I have change so much over the years. I don't get how that makes them shallow?
courtnee Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 IDK...when it comes to attraction some people just aren't attracted to bigger girls. I think as long as they weren't rude to you or anything then maybe give some a chance. I think it would take some of my pride to chat with someone who wouldn't have given me the time of day when I was big...but that's my own issue. I think as long as they are decent then go for it. But if one of them had been nasty in the past? Hell to the NO. 5
somedude81 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 If you believe that physical attraction is not important in dating, then do not give those guys a shot. 1
FitChick Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 I wouldn't want to date someone that held a grudge from high school. If you like the men, because they aren't the kids they used to be, you would only be hurting your own social life. Of course, if you have a lot of other options now, you can do what you like. What if there was a guy you turned down because he didn't bathe and years later, after he'd installed indoor plumbing and was clean, you wanted to go out with him? If he turned you down saying, "You didn't like me stinky so you don't get me now that I smell great" you'd think he was nuts. 4
tori0001 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Here's an example for you. When i was in grade school all through H.S. I was the unpopular girl. I matured fast, had acne, was goofy ect. No guys wanted to date me the unpopular girl. Now years later these same guys seen me on FB, see how I look now and all of sudden want to be FB friends, sending me messages. It's like get a life, and stay out of mine. They're shallow, they only want to talk to me because of how I look now, but didn't want to then. I want nothing to do with them.
Mallow Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 We change over the years. Chances are, many of them have changed as well. Had they been rude or disrespectful to you at said time, it would be understandable to avoid them. This had happened to me. When I was in High School I had awful skin, men didn't find me appealing. Years later, when my face had cleared up, I was treated as if I were a goddess. The only man who deserved a date from me was the one who was respectful and kind to me despite my appearance. I would however consider dating someone from the past, who didn't have anything negative to say, despite not seeing me as physically attractive. 6
Author SmileFace Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 If you believe that physical attraction is not important in dating, then do not give those guys a shot. Do I seem like I think that physical attraction is not important? These guys were never mean to me.
kaylan Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Honestly I wouldn't. If these guys couldn't get past your weight then, they don't deserve the time of day from you now. You deserve more then that. It goes to show you how shallow these guys really are. Shallow? Not really Personality isnt what soley makes for romantic connection. Physical attraction counts too. You cant fault people for that. People can throw out the party line about "beauty being skin deep" but attraction is what it is. Looks matter to us. 1
xdahliax Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 If they were never mean to you, go for it...that is, if any of them are actually appealing to you.
FitChick Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 I wouldn't want to date someone that held a grudge from high school. If you like the men, because they aren't the kids they used to be, you would only be hurting your own social life. I couldn't edit the above so let me do it now: You'd only be hurting your own social life if you didn't date men you were interested in who reciprocated your interest because they weren't attracted to you years ago. What if they didn't like your personality back then but discovered you'd changed for the better? Would you say, "Sorry, buddy, you didn't like me when I was a bitch, you can't date me now." See how silly that sounds?
kaylan Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 PS - we are talking about high school and times before that as well. No one is a mature adult whos really formed as a person yet. People grow up and change during high school and into college. I know plenty of girls who didnt give me the time of day in high school and I know wed get along great now. Hell I chat and goof off with people on FB that I didnt get along with the best during junior high school. Kids will be kids.
Author SmileFace Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 I couldn't edit the above so let me do it now: You'd only be hurting your own social life if you didn't date men you were interested in who reciprocated your interest because they weren't attracted to you years ago. What if they didn't like your personality back then but discovered you'd changed for the better? Would you say, "Sorry, buddy, you didn't like me when I was a bitch, you can't date me now." See how silly that sounds? I actually agree with every thing you have said but thanks for the clarification. I don't have a problem with these guys approaching me now and don't mind that if they didn't like me prior. Plus there is guys in HS who I couldn't stand before but find appealing now. People do change over the years. 1
xdahliax Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 I couldn't edit the above so let me do it now: You'd only be hurting your own social life if you didn't date men you were interested in who reciprocated your interest because they weren't attracted to you years ago. What if they didn't like your personality back then but discovered you'd changed for the better? Would you say, "Sorry, buddy, you didn't like me when I was a bitch, you can't date me now." See how silly that sounds? If someone didn't like me before, I really wouldn't date them. People change, but they don't change that much. Many parts of your personality are there for life, even though you can make mistakes. I can still identify with my high school self. I regret very little so if they didn't like me back then, they probably won't now or they were just being a jerk. Either way, I'm not really interested in getting to know them. There are plenty of other people on this earth that I can get to know.
somedude81 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Do I seem like I think that physical attraction is not important? Nope. My roundabout point was that they weren't physically attracted back then. Since you know that attraction is important, there isn't any point in getting annoyed at somebody because they didn't want to date you because they weren't attracted to you in the past. These guys were never mean to me. That is one of the most important things. Anybody who was a jerk gets immediately written off. But if they weren't, then there is nothing to hold against them. 2
Author SmileFace Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 Nope. My roundabout point was that they weren't physically attracted back then. Since you know that attraction is important, there isn't any point in getting annoyed at somebody because they didn't want to date you because they weren't attracted to you in the past. That is one of the most important things. Anybody who was a jerk gets immediately written off. But if they weren't, then there is nothing to hold against them. I agree. Wow 1
Imported Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 OP, I think even though you now pay attention to your fitness and take the time to stay fit, you should only date fat guys. I mean, practically any guy that is in shape would probably have ignored you when you were obese anyway, not just the guys that you know of. So, to play it safe, only date obese guys and to be extra careful, go for the extremely obese guys that have to move around on those hovaround tricycle's, because after all, beauty is on the inside.
Author SmileFace Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 OP, I think even though you now pay attention to your fitness and take the time to stay fit, you should only date fat guys. I mean, practically any guy that is in shape would probably have ignored you when you were obese anyway, not just the guys that you know of. So, to play it safe, only date obese guys and to be extra careful, go for the extremely obese guys that have to move around on those hovaround tricycle's, because after all, beauty is on the inside. What???? I am guessing you were being cheeky. I kind of get your humor
xdahliax Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 OP, I think even though you now pay attention to your fitness and take the time to stay fit, you should only date fat guys. I mean, practically any guy that is in shape would probably have ignored you when you were obese anyway, not just the guys that you know of. So, to play it safe, only date obese guys and to be extra careful, go for the extremely obese guys that have to move around on those hovaround tricycle's, because after all, beauty is on the inside. I appreciate the satire but the OP never stated that looks aren't important.
GirlontheLam Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Well according to Facebook I have moved back to my hometown after being gone for two years. When I moved I had started a weight loss program and dropped a significant amount of weight before moving. Anyway over the years I have gotten tons of attention from guys who I attended school with. However the distance wasn't in my favor. I was obese during my school years ranging from grade school to my first year of college. Now that I have moved back - the messages seem to come in weekly. Should I actually give these guys a chance? Most of these guys wouldn't have opened a door for me prior. However I am much more confident, active, have a decent job, in school, independent and outgoing now. It really depends on how you were treated by them before.....
Author SmileFace Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 I should probably read other posts first, since i basically just copied what that other dude said... I usually write in my response to people that I only read the question so when I repeat given advice it isn't weird. lol
Author SmileFace Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 take it as a confirmation that $hit must be good advice! When I read the initial advice... I was like " I am pretty sure Hawaii will say this" and I was right. 1
El Brujo Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Don't waste your time with them. They're only trying for a trophy. When I was in high school, I was retarded, a flaming homosexual, and everything else... I was the only kid in school who didn't belong to any cliques or clubs. I was the kid who realized how crappy school was and I just wanted to be done with it. All the girls I went to school with---the white ones and some of the black ones anyway---were a bunch of honors students whose blood was redder than mine, and the Hispanic and Asian girls pretty much stuck to their own ethnic groups. Needless to say, the idea of going to college sounded pretty nuts to me. Now all those stuck-up honors girls are fat and unattractive, locked in their high-power careers, and probably not as happy as they want the rest of us to believe... while a lot of the guys I went to school with, just kind of drifted through one low-paying job after another, when they weren't out somewhere getting in bar fights and shooting each other dead. The guy who graduated top of my class went on to become the best-dressed cocaine dealer ever to go to prison. In other words, it's not such a hot idea to get romantically involved with people you went to school with. 1
Nightsky Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Don't go to grad school.............. Okay now that I got that out of the way. Sure date the guys who didn't like you when you were heavier. I'd date a girl from HS who didn't like me when I was more loserly like. You see we both got more attractive since hs. Bam!
Recommended Posts