NateC Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 So I decided to sign up for Zoosk a couple days ago to give OLD a try...and in those couple days I ended up meeting a couple girls who responded to the initial messages. And because you have to pay to send messages after the first one both of them gave me phone numbers and now we're facebook friends. I've always been against multi-dating because if you're attracted to someone it's usually just to one person ...but if things go the way they are it may end up be. One asked me to coffee at some point when she's up in the area, so I feel like things are going well. And now I guess is advice time...how should I proceed? What's the best way to see if either are actually interested in perhaps taking it further than casual conversation. I'm fairly shy but warm up quickly to people...and I've connected fairly well to both of them. It's just that I've never been on a date before (always a first at some point) so I want to be prepared. Any advice would be appreciated.
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 So I decided to sign up for Zoosk a couple days ago to give OLD a try...and in those couple days I ended up meeting a couple girls who responded to the initial messages. And because you have to pay to send messages after the first one both of them gave me phone numbers and now we're facebook friends. I've always been against multi-dating because if you're attracted to someone it's usually just to one person ...but if things go the way they are it may end up be. One asked me to coffee at some point when she's up in the area, so I feel like things are going well. And now I guess is advice time...how should I proceed? What's the best way to see if either are actually interested in perhaps taking it further than casual conversation. I'm fairly shy but warm up quickly to people...and I've connected fairly well to both of them. It's just that I've never been on a date before (always a first at some point) so I want to be prepared. Any advice would be appreciated. Just go out on the first date. I usually go out on the first date and see what they are like, how the convo flows and then decide if there will be a second date or not. The guy I am talking to now we met on OKCupid and went on our first date a week ago and just talked and had fun and it flowed well then we went on a second date and again we talked and joked and it was fun and we text kind of a lot and I know what he wants and he knows what I want whether or not it will work out only time will tell but I am not going to sweat it.. I enjoy my time with him now
Author NateC Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 Just go out on the first date. I usually go out on the first date and see what they are like, how the convo flows and then decide if there will be a second date or not. The guy I am talking to now we met on OKCupid and went on our first date a week ago and just talked and had fun and it flowed well then we went on a second date and again we talked and joked and it was fun and we text kind of a lot and I know what he wants and he knows what I want whether or not it will work out only time will tell but I am not going to sweat it.. I enjoy my time with him now Yeah, you're right. Whatever happens happens.
River Rain Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 I'm a one-man woman, even during the dating and get to know you stage of things. I'm messaging a man I met on OKCupid too. We don't live very close to each other, but our conversations are very genuine. We are past the casual chat phase by now and I'm assuming he's interested in me or he wouldn't be writing back. He's opening up to me too and that shows me he knows I'm interested and trustworthy. It's true that whatever happens happens, but it's nice to hope for something more. I think that a little more serious conversation will make things more clear for you. If you're shy, then why not strike up something more personal by email before meeting them in person? That's my suggestion :-)
Author NateC Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 She's revealed things to me that I'd consider fairly personal...such as her personal life. She actually initiated our first meeting which will happen when she's in the area and I'm not stuck working (second shift really makes it difficult). I'm definitely looking forward to it because we've been talking like we've known each other much longer than we had (3 days!).
River Rain Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 That's great! Doesn't it feel good to know someone is interested in you? Talking about personal stuff is a good sign, I hope it all works out for you, and for me too ;-)
Author NateC Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 That's great! Doesn't it feel good to know someone is interested in you? Talking about personal stuff is a good sign, I hope it all works out for you, and for me too ;-) It really does. We've been texting back and forth pretty regularly.
River Rain Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 My biggest problem is not getting my hopes up too much. I mean, I'd love for things to work out and all...but you just never know. I like the little butterflies I feel though when I get a message from him. Good luck with everything!
Author NateC Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 Thanks! I'm trying to not get my hopes up too much but I've never actually dated before (part of the reason why I'm here ) so it makes me rather anxious.
Emilia Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 She's revealed things to me that I'd consider fairly personal...such as her personal life. She actually initiated our first meeting which will happen when she's in the area and I'm not stuck working (second shift really makes it difficult). I'm definitely looking forward to it because we've been talking like we've known each other much longer than we had (3 days!). Be careful of false intimacy! People in OLD have the tendency to project their desires on to the other person and they either get disappointed or they move too fast a result!
River Rain Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Thanks! I'm trying to not get my hopes up too much but I've never actually dated before (part of the reason why I'm here ) so it makes me rather anxious. I get anxious too, I don't think that ever goes away! I think you're doing things right, getting to know her and keeping in contact, that's important. The great thing about emails and texts and stuff is that we can share more personal things with each other, it's easier, so it definitely builds a stronger connection for when you meet each other. And if you feel that spark when you meet in person, then that'll be even better!
Author NateC Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 I get anxious too, I don't think that ever goes away! I think you're doing things right, getting to know her and keeping in contact, that's important. The great thing about emails and texts and stuff is that we can share more personal things with each other, it's easier, so it definitely builds a stronger connection for when you meet each other. And if you feel that spark when you meet in person, then that'll be even better! The texting was because Zoosk requires you to be a subscriber to see anything after the first message, but I feel like if they didn't have *some* interest they wouldn't even be talking to me right now.
truth_seeker Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I'm happy for you but be careful. I got my hopes up too soon with someone and got played like you wouldn't believe. Get a feel for them in person before getting too emotionally involved.
Author NateC Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 I'm happy for you but be careful. I got my hopes up too soon with someone and got played like you wouldn't believe. Get a feel for them in person before getting too emotionally involved. Of course. I've fallen into that trap before and it wasn't fun. The first meeting will tell me a lot about her intentions and if mutual interest is there. So we'll see.
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