Girlfriend kissed another guy on break; wants me back the day after

[HEADLINER]

Whats up guys. I really didn't want it to come to this but after looking over some of these posts I really think i can get some decent insight on how to proceed.

 

So here's my story:

 

Ive been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about a year and half now. We met in highschool and I'm now a sophomore at college and shes a freshman at a different school about an hour away. Recently, I've noticed that she hasn't been answering my texts as quickly as usual and seems slightly less personal over the last month. Nothing drastic, just noticeable. I don't have a problem with this because I remember my freshman year and I remember her telling me that I did the same thing.

 

I went to visit her 2 weeks ago and everything seemed fine, we spent the entire weekend together and everything was perfect. 2 days ago we got in a fight about dancing with other people at parties and I asked her if she truly wanted a relationship at this time. She told me she does but its hard when she cant see me. She also told me she wasn't sure what she wanted, she still loves me and doesnt want to lose me but wants to meet new people and said how its hard to go out and watch her friends dance with other guys while she just stands there. She ultimately told me she wasn't sure what she wanted and suggested a break. I was honestly hurt when she told me this but agreed. That night she told me she wasn't sure how this was going to workout and said she thinks she might regret it.

 

I called her drunk last night feeling upset and wanted to talk to her about it. Thats when she told me another guy (her friend from all her classes that she talks to often) kissed her and she kissed him back. She said the whole thing lasted about 5 seconds and she realized that she messed up. She told me she felt horrible and guilty about it all night but her friends insisted that she did nothing wrong and felt happy for her. She told me the entire story and that she didn't want that and she wanted me back and wants to see me. Needless to say I was furious (and drunk) and yelled at her for an hour and pretty much got my feelings on the matter across. In the end, she says she wants to be with me and she feels horrible about what she did. She said its up to me if I want to take her back.

 

So bottom line:

Im honestly not sure what to do. I love this girl and we've been so close for so long. Shes usually very honest with me and very innocent. I know technically we were on a break but it was literally a day later and it kills me when I picture her kissing him. I cant believe she would do this to me. I cant get this off my mind and its clouding all my other thoughts and actions. One side of me wants to forgive her and one side wants to move on.

Ive never cheated on her my entire year last year in school and ive and partied pretty much every weekend, so ive been there. We've been through some rocky times and shes forgiven me for lying to her about some things in the past (not cheating related) so my gut tells me to forgive because that's what she did for me.

 

Im not sure what to do, I love this girl and I can't picture myself with anyone else but I'm just not sure what I should do. I feel betrayed and like she played me out on one hand and forgiving on the other. What would you do in this situation or does anyone have some insight or advice? Anything is greatly appreciated and feel free to be as brutally honest as you want.

 

Thanks all

 

-FN

[TaraMaiden]

Split up.

You can't trust her, she's not sure of her feelings and you're an hour apart. This isn't the love of your life and - sorry bud - you're certainly not hers.

Cut your losses, spread your wings and live a little.

[hellodearest]

I'm not going to tell you if you should keep her or ditch her, that's on you, and only you know the true answer to that. What I will say though, is if you decide to take her back, you HAVE TO FORGIVE HER. If you stick with her, and you hold this grudge against her, it won't work out, and if you get angry with her, and let it develop into trust issues... it won't be worth staying together anyway. First, decide if you want her back, second, re-iterate that what she did is NOT ok, but you're choosing to stay with her, and that you're choosing to forgive the situation, and then stick to your words, and don't bring it up in other fights, etc. etc.

[a.b]

Can you trust her again?

[tjackson1]

The choose is yours and yours alone. You need to think if you realy want her and if you can forgiver her. My ex broke up with me and if she comes back to me and she did that I probably wouldn't take her back because, I'm not going to be the person that gets broken up with and it takes you fooling around with someone else to realize you want me. There are billions of people in this world you can find someone that you feel the same way about and them love you equaly and not have to quetion it like her. Just my .02.

[flitzanu]

break = breakup.

 

she flat out told you she's watching her friends meet new guys and wants freedom to meet new people (and guys) and she "doesn't know what she wants".

 

that means she wants to bang other people.