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Girlfriend kissed another guy, wants me back the day after.


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Posted

Whats up guys. I really didn't want it to come to this but after looking over some of these posts I really think i can get some decent insight on how to proceed.

 

So here's my story:

 

Ive been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about a year and half now. We met in highschool and I'm now a sophomore at college and shes a freshman at a different school about an hour away. Recently, I've noticed that she hasn't been answering my texts as quickly as usual and seems slightly less personal over the last month. Nothing drastic, just noticeable. I don't have a problem with this because I remember my freshman year and I remember her telling me that I did the same thing.

 

I went to visit her 2 weeks ago and everything seemed fine, we spent the entire weekend together and everything was perfect. 2 days ago we got in a fight about dancing with other people at parties and I asked her if she truly wanted a relationship at this time. She told me she does but its hard when she cant see me. She also told me she wasn't sure what she wanted, she still loves me and doesnt want to lose me but wants to meet new people and said how its hard to go out and watch her friends dance with other guys while she just stands there. She ultimately told me she wasn't sure what she wanted and suggested a break. I was honestly hurt when she told me this but agreed. That night she told me she wasn't sure how this was going to workout and said she thinks she might regret it.

 

I called her drunk last night feeling upset and wanted to talk to her about it. Thats when she told me another guy (her friend from all her classes that she talks to often) kissed her and she kissed him back. She said the whole thing lasted about 5 seconds and she realized that she messed up. She told me she felt horrible and guilty about it all night but her friends insisted that she did nothing wrong and felt happy for her. She told me the entire story and that she didn't want that and she wanted me back and wants to see me. Needless to say I was furious (and drunk) and yelled at her for an hour and pretty much got my feelings on the matter across. In the end, she says she wants to be with me and she feels horrible about what she did. She said its up to me if I want to take her back.

 

So bottom line:

Im honestly not sure what to do. I love this girl and we've been so close for so long. Shes usually very honest with me and very innocent. I know technically we were on a break but it was literally a day later and it kills me when I picture her kissing him. I cant believe she would do this to me. I cant get this off my mind and its clouding all my other thoughts and actions. One side of me wants to forgive her and one side wants to move on.

Ive never cheated on her my entire year last year in school and ive and partied pretty much every weekend, so ive been there. We've been through some rocky times and shes forgiven me for lying to her about some things in the past (not cheating related) so my gut tells me to forgive because that's what she did for me.

 

Im not sure what to do, I love this girl and I can't picture myself with anyone else but I'm just not sure what I should do. I feel betrayed and like she played me out on one hand and forgiving on the other. What would you do in this situation or does anyone have some insight or advice? Anything is greatly appreciated and feel free to be as brutally honest as you want.

 

Thanks all

 

-FN

Posted

I didn't bother to read the whole thing.

 

your GF just kissed a guy (who knows what really happend? confirmed by your guy friend?) and you write this long message. that's a beta. you are way affected by it.

American girls don't like that. At least act like you don't care. keep some distance from her for a while.

Posted
I didn't bother to read the whole thing.

 

your GF just kissed a guy (who knows what really happend? confirmed by your guy friend?) and you write this long message. that's a beta. you are way affected by it.

American girls don't like that. At least act like you don't care. keep some distance from her for a while.

 

Yes you should keep some distance from her for a while, I agree

Posted

The majority of members who contribute to this board always suggest just leaving/ending the relationship.

 

Take it with a grain of salt. If you want to work it out, work it out. If you feel like she'll just do it again and not tell you the next time but keep you hanging around on the side, end it. We don't know her any better than you do.

Posted

You probably did something that caused her to do this. So take her back (and maybe apologize). No reason to break up.

Posted

LOL!

"A Break" is code for trying out other people guilt free.

 

She did more than kiss.

Otherwise she wouldn't of even mentioned it.

She's trying to alleviate guilt.

 

 

Do what you want OP but if someone told me they wanted a "break" i'd tell them we are either together or broken up & if they chose broken up they would be done because I don't go back to ex's & I don't stay friends with them.

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Posted

Like it or not, she is focussed on her "new life" there at school.

 

It's best to just man up "grant" her freedom, tell her that you hope she enjoyed it, you have no hard feelings, and that clearly she is not right for you anymore.

 

Anything else is just impotent manipulation that makes you look needy, clingy, and pitiful. Your girl is gone. Let her go. Mourn your loss to yourself. Keep your self respect.

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