PlanB123 Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 (edited) ...its doesn't seem like a decision that can just be made. I made another thread but got no reply. In it i explained that i already realize that i don't want her back because it would interfere with my future plans--but i still have the same feelings as someone who desperately wants there ex back. I've said to myself 'i must let go and move on' but the depression and constant nasty thoughts of what she is doing with other guys are still there. How can i just let go and not care who/when and how many guys she is drunk ****ing out of clubs/bars and the rest? I have anger that i want to communicate to her. Most of all i want to state that 'i know' i know she has lots of casual hook ups in her past and will be doing it now. i want to tell her this for some reason---like she isn't getting away with being a slut. Unfortunately, we must communicate via text one more time in the future. Probably in January. Unavoidable. I keep thinking about that moment and how i am going to be as brief and as professional as possible--but i wonder what her reaction will be like and if her reaction to my briefness will make me fire off what i really want to say (slut, whore, etc, etc) or if indeed she will be equally brief and so i will have to swallow my anger forever. all of these emotions come EVEN THOUGH i know that i need to be single in order to live my dreams. so weird. its just me being protective? me not wanting other guys to have what was once my 'cherish'? i don't know.......confused Edited October 7, 2012 by PlanB123
todreaminblue Posted October 7, 2012 Posted October 7, 2012 ...its doesn't seem like a decision that can just be made. I made another thread but got no reply. In it i explained that i already realize that i don't want her back because it would interfere with my future plans--but i still have the same feelings as someone who desperately wants there ex back. I've said to myself 'i must let go and move on' but the depression and constant nasty thoughts of what she is doing with other guys are still there. How can i just let go and not care who/when and how many guys she is drunk ****ing out of clubs/bars and the rest? I have anger that i want to communicate to her. Most of all i want to state that 'i know' i know she has lots of casual hook ups in her past and will be doing it now. i want to tell her this for some reason---like she isn't getting away with being a slut. Unfortunately, we must communicate via text one more time in the future. Probably in January. Unavoidable. I keep thinking about that moment and how i am going to be as brief and as professional as possible--but i wonder what her reaction will be like and if her reaction to my briefness will make me fire off what i really want to say (slut, whore, etc, etc) or if indeed she will be equally brief and so i will have to swallow my anger forever. all of these emotions come EVEN THOUGH i know that i need to be single in order to live my dreams. so weird. its just me being protective? me not wanting other guys to have what was once my 'cherish'? i don't know.......confused the only thing that will help is time ....time to deal with what you feel and discard it and move on i would suggest not texting her, because, texting her just to call her a whore and a slut isnt progress to you or to her.....letting go is difficult.....i didn't think i would ever let go of my ex i didnt really think of him being with someone else sexually.....it was more the loss of someone i confided in and i stuck through all the bad times and grief for the good times that we did share.....he was cheating all through our relationship so the trust had died along time ago I even thought about going back....but honestly so much damage had been done and said i figured out it was just me not wanting to fall in love again....i would rather have casual relationships than go back to a relationship where i almost disappeared I am actually pretty confused at the moment probably the last one who should be giving advice i do know that time helps and a bit of faith and a lot of hope......you need to let her live her life and live yours without anger......The only anger i have with my ex is over our three girls .....and when he judges what i do....dont judge your ex........dont text her again....find someone who makes you happy and form a relationship that is what you need and desire....says me.....who runs from it.....deb
Author PlanB123 Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 yeah...i know time is the only thing. in the meantime i have to live with the hell of my thoughts. the second i wake up i think about who she is ****ing or flirting with right now. or maybe now....or what about now....or perhaps now....or on saturday, or on friday night, or this lunchtime, or tonight, or...........tomorrow.....or........etc etc etc......you see, complete insanity and a guessing game i can never win. they are facts i crave. its like i want to prove myself right and let her know i know.... (again, i know her history). insanity. i am well aware its insanity. its like a constant high pitched ringing in my hear that feels like its going to burst my eardrum and no matter what way i move, i can't get away from it. trying to get back into 'the power of now' and eckhart tolle--but unsurprisingly, when i need his wisdom the most, i can't concentrate on it.
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