Author Coyoteloco Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 ok sending in 3 2 1 ... .. . .. . .
Million.to.1 Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 It's not strong enough. Be clearer. Say " I need to move on with my life and you are stopping me from doing so. I will be ignoring any further attempt from you to contact me I will have to block you if you keep trying. Please respect my wishes and DO NOT CONTACT me again."
geegirl Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 just for me not to mess up. My main language is not english so i have to translate the message. Is this ok??? "Name i dont hate you and im not angry with you, but you sending me text messegaes and calling me is not letting me go on with my life, i ask you to please stop doing so" is this ok? Yes, you can send this. If she responds, you have to stick to what you said and ignore because if you don't, she will never take you seriously and your efforts to move on. At the end ask her to respect your decision and do not contact you again.
geegirl Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 message sent! Ok, I guess it will do. Now, you have to ignore her attempts, should she respond. If she ignores your request, she's disrespecting your need to heal and is selfishly putting her needs ahead of yours. Million's ex did the kind and loving thing by respecting her needs and letting her heal. If she can't do the same, you have to be strong and ignore.
Author Coyoteloco Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 ok she just sent me a text sayiing "Okay i understand because i went through the same (wtf when? lol). Im going to respect you and im not going to call you. I just want you to know that when you want and can i would like for us to talk"
Author Coyoteloco Posted October 8, 2012 Author Posted October 8, 2012 another text "can i call you and we talk just for 1 sec?" maybe putting the blocking part would of been good
Simon Phoenix Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 another text "can i call you and we talk just for 1 sec?" maybe putting the blocking part would of been good Yeah, I don't know why you felt the need to change it when it was perfect the way it was. But now you just have to ignore.
geegirl Posted October 8, 2012 Posted October 8, 2012 Ignore. Nothing more to say. She kicked you in the nuts in that last thread of yours. Break the cycle.
TaraMaiden Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 another text "can i call you and we talk just for 1 sec?" maybe putting the blocking part would of been good I'm laughing so hard, I'm in danger of doing myself an injury..... Oh my goodness...... You think?? Maybe?!!?? Oh good grief...... 1
Author Coyoteloco Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 So im having a hard time trying not to think about all of this. Why is she doing this? calling texting me? nothing happened today but it was hard to fall asleep, and all this thoughts in my head of what is going on . . . is she trying to get back with me? is she just messing with me? seeing if im still there for her? You know its pretty hard to keep up with the no contact in this situation, i try to remember all the bad things about her and stay strong but i miss her alot and the good times were so good. I know i should hold it for a little longer and get her to the point were she comes crawling, but its hard not to talk to her when she seems so interested in talking to me. This is a tough situation to be in. I just keep saying to myself that she cant just walk into my life just like that, but i would do anything to go back in time to when we were together and everything was perfect :'( . Maybe she wants to ease guilt? maybe she wants the cake and eat it too? i guess the best thing right now is not to take anything for granted and put myself and heart in a safe place. Any insight?
TaraMaiden Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 The best thing you can do is to quit asking questions. First of all, you can't get inside their heads to find out the answers. Secondly, even if you were to ask her, she would probably not really even understand her own behaviour. Give you one reason one day, another, the next. They lie to themselves, and they lie to you. They would never admit that it's to yank your chain, keep you strung up, feed their ego, or nourish their neediness. So you would never, EVER get the right answer. No contact isn't only about No Contact. It's about getting them out of your life and starting again, without them in it, at all, in any way whatsoever.... The only question you need to ask, when you get anything form them - ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING - Is: "What do I do now?" And the answer, invariably, undeniably, is: Ignore, stay No Contact and leave it be. She isn't interested in talking to you. She's just interested in making sure you're attentive, and that you do what she wants, because she sure as hell isn't doing what you want, or have requested. Take this as a cold, hard, lesson. leave her be, ignore, go No Contact, stay no Contact, and block her completely.
geegirl Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 So im having a hard time trying not to think about all of this. Why is she doing this? calling texting me? nothing happened today but it was hard to fall asleep, and all this thoughts in my head of what is going on . . . is she trying to get back with me? is she just messing with me? seeing if im still there for her? You know its pretty hard to keep up with the no contact in this situation, i try to remember all the bad things about her and stay strong but i miss her alot and the good times were so good. I know i should hold it for a little longer and get her to the point were she comes crawling, but its hard not to talk to her when she seems so interested in talking to me. This is a tough situation to be in. I just keep saying to myself that she cant just walk into my life just like that, but i would do anything to go back in time to when we were together and everything was perfect :'( . Maybe she wants to ease guilt? maybe she wants the cake and eat it too? i guess the best thing right now is not to take anything for granted and put myself and heart in a safe place. Any insight? A couple of weeks ago, after a spell of breadcrumbs you laid it out to her that you wanted to try again and she turned you down. The moment you told her you were going NC, she started her breadcrumbs again. Why do you not see a pattern of absolutely nothing? If she wanted to try again, she would be expressing that because she knows you want the same. SHE IS NOT DOING THAT. So get that out of your head that contact may mean she wants to rekindle. There could be several reasons she contacts you. Curiosity, ego boost, fallback, guilt, etc. All irrelevant because it does not give you want you want. If she has anything of substance to say, she would have said it when you extended the idea of rekindling, instead she flushed you down the toilet. You miss her and the good times WERE so good? Key word is WERE. There ARE no good times anymore, just pain and hurt. In that sense, stop reliving the past and start accepting that NO CONTACT is all you have that will keep you from getting on an infinite rollercoaster ride of mind f****, confusion and hurt. And stop using NC to get her to come crawling back. If you have that mindset, you'll keep sitting around and waiting like a dog for her to throw you a stick. NC is implemented so that you can step away from the drama and heal. There is a reason it's called breadcrumbs. It keeps you wanting more, only thing is, no matter how many times you go back for more, it will never ever fill you up. Quit it. Feel the pain and channel all your emotions here or elsewhere, just don't find comfort by opening the door to her. She is your source of pain. That is all she can give you.
Author Coyoteloco Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 yes i know it must be all breadcrumbs, but i have a hard time getting that into my mind. I mean, i keep thinking well maybe she finally found out the grass isnt greener, maybe she found her way back into love. Maybe after 1 month of no contact she changed her mind. And im not using no contact as a way to get her back, but as a way to protect myself from the breadcrumbs and the pain. And you know everyone is telling me that girls are like that, they dont know what the fuu they want and they do mess up most of the time, like you will never understand women. I keep wondering what was it that she was so wanting to talk to me about. . . also my father tells me that i shouldnt deny speaking to someone, and that i should talk to her. She has also been texting my mother since she got back from her trip and asking her about me. So i guess me being so confused is normal. And she still haves free calls to my house in her cellphone which is weird. But im ovveranylizing again. If she really wants to be with me i guess nothing will stop her from coming to get me. when did things got so complicated?? >.<
geegirl Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 You have a hard time getting it into your head because you are in denial. When you love someone you resist in every possible way to accept that it's over. It's normal to feel that way. Let's say she went out there and realized the grass isn't greener. The fact is that she left you for a reason and even if she came back that reason is still there. She would be coming to you because she has no prospects. If you care to be an option or a consolation prize, by all means, do so. Girls are like that? PEOPLE are like that. Stop creating these perceptions in your mind to justify the situation. Men and women behave this way. My ex was a man. You don't hear me saying men are indecisive. It's who you picked. It's not about gender. Tell your father that she is not SOMEONE. She is your ex and that contact hurts you and causes you confusion and it would be in your best interest if they prioritize your healing by ceasing contact with her, but if they must, to keep their conversations with her away from you. Shouldn't deny someone when they want to speak to you, even when they cause you pain and hurt? Are you kidding me? If she wants you back, she can tell you mother, your father, and she can call you. What stops her from doing that? Nothing. yes i know it must be all breadcrumbs, but i have a hard time getting that into my mind. I mean, i keep thinking well maybe she finally found out the grass isnt greener, maybe she found her way back into love. Maybe after 1 month of no contact she changed her mind. And im not using no contact as a way to get her back, but as a way to protect myself from the breadcrumbs and the pain. And you know everyone is telling me that girls are like that, they dont know what the fuu they want and they do mess up most of the time, like you will never understand women. I keep wondering what was it that she was so wanting to talk to me about. . . also my father tells me that i shouldnt deny speaking to someone, and that i should talk to her. She has also been texting my mother since she got back from her trip and asking her about me. So i guess me being so confused is normal. And she still haves free calls to my house in her cellphone which is weird. But im ovveranylizing again. If she really wants to be with me i guess nothing will stop her from coming to get me. when did things got so complicated?? >.<
Author Coyoteloco Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 well she was calling me this last two days but i didnt answear, and was asking me to talk . . . about what i dont know. . . and she is still willing to talk to me. But for now i wont do so, im fine with how things are right now, i dont know what the future holds for me, sooner or later ill find it out.. And i know the best thing for me is to stay away but its like i have a battle in my head. Thanks everyone for your words, if something else comes up ill let you know
Author Coyoteloco Posted October 9, 2012 Author Posted October 9, 2012 Okay guess what, guess whos texting me again, lol!!! ok she started early today here is what it says "I promise this is the last text i send you if that is what you want. I want to respect your decicions and make the best for both of us. But as you asked me to talk before im now asking you to talk. If you dont want i understand, but you know me, and you know im the kind of person that says things when i feel them". what do i do now right? i gtg right now. any thoughts?
geegirl Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Okay guess what, guess whos texting me again, lol!!! ok she started early today here is what it says "I promise this is the last text i send you if that is what you want. I want to respect your decicions and make the best for both of us. But as you asked me to talk before im now asking you to talk. If you dont want i understand, but you know me, and you know im the kind of person that says things when i feel them". what do i do now right? i gtg right now. any thoughts? You won't block. As many times as you said not to contact she contacts. She hasn't respected your wish eventhough she says she wants to. Same drama over and over again. I'm exhausted. Pick up the phone and talk. Sometimes you need to get that one last bang on the head before you learn. For your sake, I hope you get what you need from her.
TaraMaiden Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Okay guess what, guess whos texting me again, lol!!! ok she started early today here is what it says "I promise this is the last text i send you if that is what you want. I want to respect your decicions and make the best for both of us. But as you asked me to talk before im now asking you to talk. If you dont want i understand, but you know me, and you know im the kind of person that says things when i feel them". what do i do now right? i gtg right now. any thoughts? Yeah, quit asking us what to do, get off this forum and go and annoy someone else. Oh, and answer her all you want. In fact, go camp outside her house. Follow her to work. Turn up on any date she has. appear by her side at the restaurant. Hide under her bed and pop out at the most unexpected times. Propose to her, marry her and give her children.
Chi townD Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 I've said it before, some girls HATE the fact that there might be a person in the world that hates them or thinks that they're not a nice person. She's definately showing that she doesn't want to lose you as a back up. I'm going against my better judgement but, you've texted her several times stating no contact. You haven't been contacting her (up until recently) and she's just not getting it. Uggh....okay, call her. BUT!!!! You need to be all business and re-affirm that you want NC. You WANT to move on with your life and she choosen not to be a part of that. So, you need to leave her behind, heal and allow yourself to find a girl that wants to be part of your life. Do not let her get an edge in on the conversation. If she asks to be friends tell her no. Not right now, you cannot be friend with someone you still have feelings for. Maybe down the road, it might be possible, but not right now. How is she going to argue that. She may say you're being selfish, and that's fine. You need to be a little selfish to protect your heart. So, HOPEFULLY!!! She'll buy a clue. Then, back to NC, she knows your serious about moving on, she now knows your serious about moving on. If she STILL doesn't get it. Then you need to change your number and only give it out to family for a while.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 9, 2012 Posted October 9, 2012 Okay guess what, guess whos texting me again, lol!!! ok she started early today here is what it says "I promise this is the last text i send you if that is what you want. I want to respect your decicions and make the best for both of us. But as you asked me to talk before im now asking you to talk. If you dont want i understand, but you know me, and you know im the kind of person that says things when i feel them". what do i do now right? i gtg right now. any thoughts? Stop reacting like a crazy person to every text she sends for one. Just block her or ignore her. Or do whatever you want, you don't seem to listen anyway.
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